Miscarriage support

Adorabelle_2

Hi, hope no one minds me posting on here but I have just discovered this thread.

I have had 3 miscarriages in the past so I can understand what you all are going through. Cozza, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through I remember the returning to work after and having to pretend that I was ok yet going to the toilets for a good cry too *big hugs*

I hope you don't mind me sharing my story here. After my 3rd miscarriage I had various tests at the centre for reproductive medicine (crm) at my local hospital. All the tests came back fine, good news but I was upset at first as I wanted an explanation as to why I was miscarrying. My bf was very supportive and helped me to see that there was nothing stopping us going on to have a healthy pregnancy and baby.

I was very lucky to then fall pregnant again and now have a baby girl who was one last month. As I was under the hospitals crm I was prescribed cyclogest (progesterone pessary) to take up until I was 12 weeks pregnant. I am certain that this helped me maintain my pregnancy, my 1st miscarriage was a missed miscarriage picked up at my 12 week scan and the 2nd and 3rd were before 12 weeks. Whether it was the actual progesterone that helped or a placeo effect I don't know.

I am now 22 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby and was prescribed cyclogest until 12 weeks.

From reading this thread I was in tears at both the heartbreak to the happy stories. I don't want to sound patronising in any way but never give up the hope. It was the one thing that got me through the dark days.

Adorabelle xx

cozza123

thankyou Adorabelle

Gives me hope knowing there are people who have had three then gone onto have a baby. I have wrote down what you said about cyclogest will bring this up when I see the specialist just waiting but dont know how long i will have to wait for a letter for an appointment its been over a week and i feel like I am sleeping under the letterbox hoping for a letter.

Anyone know how long it normally takes to get a letter?

Adorabelle_2

I think it took around 2-3 months for me to get my appointment.

I forgot to add on my earlier post that alongside the cyclogest I was advised to take 75mg of aspirin a day until 34/36 weeks. I did take it for most of my first pregnancy but I haven't took any this time so I'm not sure if they make any difference or not.

I hope you hear soon, I know exactly how you feel waiting I would say that if you start getting down go back to your doctors and hopefully they may push for an earlier appointment. Not all doctors do this but after my first miscarriage it was taking a while to get pregnant again (1st time I caught straight away) I went to see my doctor and told her how I was feeling and I was lucky that she sent me off for a ovary scan plus some blood tests. I then got pregnant the month after the tests but went on to lose that one too. I think the fact that I was being taken seriously and someone was listening to me helped me a lot.

I really hope cyclogest works for you too . Bit of advice though (if you google cyclogest and see the side effects) I found the front easier! A friend of mine tried the back and it gave her a lot of windy pops if you get me! Hope this makes you smile a bit

Adorabelle xx

Rups32

Hi ladies. hope you all are having a good weekend as you can.

thanks for all the advise adorabelle. so pleased for you that you had your little one and are expecting again. its lovely to see your positivity and your attitude. thank you...

This weekend is finally doing something for me.. On friday, i gave my blood test and headed to work and everyone was around and were laughing and joking around, and even though i felt tired, i had fun. later i went for hubby's leaving do and behaved myself and tried to enjoy it and we left at a decent time as well. I still feel sad and have my moments, but i feel now its time to really move on, otherwise it will affect me so badly and i need to be positive esp as my health is starting to go down, with the possible glandular fever and tiredness. sigh..

going to go and spend some time in camdem while hubby performs at another comedy competition tomorrow so that should be nice. should be at home and the house is a mess, but would rathr go out as i know when i am alone, i start thinking too much.

sorry long email... i really want a baby but now silly hubby wants to wait till i get AF!!! i have explained that, that shouldnt stop us, but i know he is worried. silly man.. lol. bless him. i am still a bit scared, but i know i shouldnt and cant be otherwise i can never try and know.
xx hope you are all ok. hugs..

Rups32

cozza, you did the right thing and it was horrible for that woman to go and chat about it. whether she thought people knew or not, its not upto her!! grr! dont get very stressed please? Maybe also, if you can see other people's comments on FB for the other woman, then maybe it is a good idea to leave FB for a while and when you are ready, go back, or if you can also hide those friends comments/highlights?Hope you are ok though. xx

Kitten_Pie

Hi Rups,

My OH wanted to wait for at least one AF as that is what the doctor advised us. However when the consultant said that it was just for dating reasons he was happy to try earlier. Good thing as my first cycle lasted 52 days and I would have gone mad. Just be prepared that it won't necessarily happen straight away and first AF will be very depressing for numerous reasons.

If you join the TTC thread there are many unfortunately in similar positions who will be able to give support during the hard times.

TeamLowe

Cozza, I'm sorry to hear about your confidence being abused

Adorabelle, can I ask how long it took you to get pregnant? My first pregnancy was a surprise and I'm getting more and more disappointed that it's just not happened yet, even though we've only been trying properly for two cycles/ three months as DH took a while to come round. The mammoth cycles don't help either. PCOS sucks! Lol

Rups, I'm glad your feeling more positive. Please don't put pressure on yourself to get better though. That's what I did and it really messed me up. I even remember thinking when I was off work that once i went back to work, that was it, I'd be over it. But I know now I'll never be over it but I have slowly been able to make my peace with it x x

Adorabelle_2

Hi

I always thought it would take me a few months to get pregnant but my first was straight away. This one resulted in a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. I feel that the way the sonographer acted at my scan did contribute towards me feeling so down following the miscarriage. She would not even look at me, despite me constantly asking 'is everything ok, is my baby alright'.

I then thought as it happened straight away it would again too but my second pregnancy took me 9 months of trying. Looking back now I think I got caught up in the calulating my fertile days etc too much that I was becoming obssessed and it was pretty much all I could think about. That coupled with the depression of not wanting to go out, get up etc I think my head was in a pretty bad way I know it is easy for me to say that now as I have a beautiful baby but I do still feel that it was something that I needed to do each month, to hold onto that hope, it was the only thing that was keeping me going. I think that we all need the time to grieve and feel sorry for ourselves as it is part of the whole process. Most people would just tend to say oh it'll all be fine and I'd just want to punch them lol. I did go for counselling, which was arranged through my work, but it was pretty rubbish.

As stated before, I went to see my doctors as I was very low. She was brilliant. She was young and admitted to me that she had suffered a miscarriage too. It was so nice to finally have someone from the medical profession say, in so many words, actually what you are going through is pretty !!!!!, rather that the 'oh it happens all the time' (well it don't happen to me all the time so have some sympathy!!!). She did then send me for some tests which made me feel a lot more postive and I then got pregnant afterwards. My three pregnancies after I have got pregnant straight away from when we decided to try properly again.

I would advise you all to not give up with going to the doctors etc. From my experience most GPs are pretty rubbish when it comes to ttc and miscarriages but I was fortunate to get one who actually cared (young, newly qualified female drs are the best imo). I did see a few before the good one, so please don't give up. If anything, if they try to fob you off, they may get fed up with you pestering them and do something to shut you up!

TeamLowe, have you tried clomid? One of my best friends has had numerous miscarriages and she has been lucky that her DS2 is a clomid baby.

As you say TL, you never get over it. I have my beautiful little girl and people say to me 'oh it's worth all what you went through' and yes to some extent it is, but I lost 3 very much wanted babies who were never given the chance and for someone who has never experienced this loss they will never understand

Sorry for the long essay, I will stop now!

Adorabelle xx

TeamLowe

Thanks so much for that, it's really helped me feel better. Whilst I'm sick of hearing the dismissive x had a miscarriage and now she has a babyso see it's fine, it's great to hear it is a struggle and the path is long but you get there in the end

An unsympathetic gp I cried at has said ican have the blood tests for ovulation if nothing after three months, so only 1.5 cycles left til then x x

Rups32

hello all.

i hope i do have a 'normal' AF. i have had some random bits of something this week gone but not heavy... i have managed to succeed to ask hubby for some special time, so who knows? if it is meant to happen it will, otherwise will give myself that time after AF and then take it from there.

Thanks for the advice sweeties. TL. you are right, i will give myself time. I must say this weekend, i actually felt in terms of getting the healing, it has started for me. I am starting to feel more at peace with myself slowly. I am still thinking of our baby, and keep asking hubby if our rose bush will survive in the cold now. Today I had a brief moment on the train when i saw a baby in a pram and i was lost for a few minutes. Then also on the train, i managed to say to hubby, that when i did a charity run in December, i was pregnant and i didnt know it. And i did feel sad but the pain was less. needless to say, i will never forget the whole experience. ever..

adorabelle, my sonographer was the same as she could tell i was anxious and she passed the buck to the nurse. the nurse thought the sonographer had told us, so she started by saying that 'as you already know the news....' i started crying. this reminds me that i still have to complain about her but i dont know her name or anything i have a few complaints about people there, who lacked compassion and manners.