Miscarriage support

portsmouthali

Rups, I have taken varying amounts of time off but I guess it averages around 2 weeks. Even though I've had my job for years and know everyone really well, I couldn't face seeing them My boss was/is amazing and told everyone why I was off (I said she could as I couldn't face all the questions), and told everyone not to bother me as much as possible. Also, she arranged with HR for me to do half-days on my first week back which I found incredibly helpful as it eased me back in gently.

I like the routine of work so didn't want to stay off too long, but on one occasion I remember I'd been off for about a week and was due to go back - the day before I was really looking forward to seeing everyone again, but on the day itself I woke up & I was a mess. I phoned my boss and I couldn't speak for crying, I had to give the phone to my OH My GP signed me off for another week and that did the trick

What I'm trying to say is, don't rush yourself - you've been through one of the worst things anyone can go through and it will take time to recover physically & emotionally xxxxxx

Rups32

Thanks portsmouthali.. that was very handy advise.

This morning I got up quite late as was shattered last night coming back from hubby's comedy gig. It was quite a nice thing to get out as my mind was elsewhere and i could laugh or not laugh at stand-up comedians there. it wasnt a very late night but i was shattered.

so this morning after hubby went to work, i stayed in bed and had a lovely dream of being on holiday on some beach.. niiicee. Then woke up feeling groggy but not too bad. it def isnt as bad as yesterday even though I am thinking about it but am much calmer.

i think hubby is of the nature to go back to work and keep busy and so am i, but this time round thinking of going back to work, is making me stay at home. i cant make my mind up. the doc has signed me off for 2 weeks, so i think i could use the first week and then see how i go? i think i need it esp as still feeling shattered..i was a bit worried about telling people but i think when i get back, i might tell some of them as they are all so sweet. i just felt that if they asked how i was, i would just cry, but then if they are sweet and understanding rather than gossipy, there is no harm in letting it out as it will help me further right?

hope everyone is ok today? mishka i tried the pillow thing and today i dont have that pain thank god. i think it was also as a result of me just being in bed all day yest. well today i am on the couch being lazy.
xx

Rups32

have a nice weekend ladies. will try and pop on here. xx hugs

colli

Rups32 wrote: »

have a nice weekend ladies. will try and pop on here. xx hugs

You too, rest up and take it easy. I'm off to make the most most of a bad situation and will probably end up spending a good proportion of the weekend in the pub

dibuzz

I've only come across this thread today and haven't read much as I will need to be alone to read it all.
My mc was 22 years ago next month but still as fresh in my mind as it was then.
I went on to have 3 more babies but will never forget my little Sarah.
Sending hugs to everyone going through this awful situation, you never forget but do learn to cope better.

mishkanorman

ARGH need a rant :mad:


My OH came home last night clutching 2 pieces of paper, "the girls have been fussing over this all day (at work) they cant decide can you have a look and let us know which is the best one to go for"

Flipping numpty then showed me print outs for travel cots that they want to buy a girl from his work for her maternity present :mad:

I totally over-reacted - there were some baaaaad words coming out of my mouth, but I really cant see why my own husband would think just 4 months after we lost our baby - and should be shopping for stuff for our own nursery- would I want to spend time picking out things for someone else ! It felt like such a slap in the face, im dealing with our loss pretty well but not THAT well :mad:

To make it worse he replied " well I only asked" and then when I apologised for shouting but couldnt he see how insensitive he was being he replied "its fine" NO ITS NOT, YOU'Re VERY VERY SORRY FOR UPSETTING ME !!!! :mad::mad:


Ok, I feel better now :rotfl:

SusanC_2

I'd be upset too if my husband did that mishka. I don't like to sterotype but I'd say based on observation, men seem to be better at compartmentalising things such that someone else having a baby doesn't link up to the loss to them the way it generally seems to for women.

Rups32

oh mishka i am so sorry. Hugs. men are like that aren't they? stupids! :rotfl: Its just like Susan said they block things out and don't realise how we do. for example today, hubby came back from kung fu (i feel left out now as we do it together) and he said that one of he guys wasnt there as his gf wasnt well so he is looking after her. then he said he would send them a message asking how she is, and i just went into a mental rage saying that no one of the kung fu guys have asked how i am (to be fair, they dont know, but i havent been there for ages now and they know they i am sort of not well). grrr. i was so annoyed. Hubby calmly replied that some had asked him when he sees them. how am i supposed to know? there is one girl there who is always broke and down and i always sent her a text now and again and arranged a bday get together for her and i cooked for her. not even one text from her!!! tsk tsk.. sorry my turn now..

forgive your hubby, they dont get it sadly.. we can rant here. hehe

i spoke to to my cousin in Canada and she has had a MC before when she was 10 weeks and she said it was horrible doing it naturally. she recently has been in hosp as she had an epoptic (can never spell this one too) pregnancy and her tube ruptured and burst. gosh she is so lucky she is alive as i have read that with these type of pregnancies there is a lot of internal bleeding. poor thing. she is so brave though and always positive. i asked her to give me some of her energy as she always sounds positive. she said she has her down days for sure but she reminds herself that she has a lovely husband and a lovely son....and she says we all have a chance and we can look after ourselves and move forward as hard as the loss it. she said to look at our loss as a little journey they were supposed to have embarked with us and they chose us..:(

Rups32

Afternoon ladies...

how was everyone's weekends?

I am so tired today. Hubby's got a cold and all night he couldnt sleep and neither could i! am so grumpy today. :0( Also, him and MIL are wondering when i will go back to work? he keeps pressurising me to go back and i am not happy about that!!! I think i am also probably getting used to being at home and need to make that transition but i dont feel it yet. grrrr. sorry am but grumpy.

mishkanorman

Rups32 wrote: »

Afternoon ladies...

how was everyone's weekends?

I am so tired today. Hubby's got a cold and all night he couldnt sleep and neither could i! am so grumpy today. :0( Also, him and MIL are wondering when i will go back to work? he keeps pressurising me to go back and i am not happy about that!!! I think i am also probably getting used to being at home and need to make that transition but i dont feel it yet. grrrr. sorry am but grumpy.

Dont rush it, you need to recover and if that means sitting on your backside or rushing back to work go with whatever works for you.

Why is your MIL voicing an opinion ? has she ever suffered a loss ? sometimes it can be hard to understand if you have never been through it yourself, or worse than that are those that reached sainthood by not being effected at all and sail through things that trip the rest of us up !

be grumpy, thats what this thread is for


thanks also for the support guys i missed your posts must have been off stewing !