Miscarriage support

mishkanorman

Rups, Glad to see you doing ok, well as best as you can be, take it easy over the next few days your hormones will do funny things to you

as for OH's, mine was a great help for the first afternoon we were home, after that it was eye rolls and huffing if he was asked to help ! was kinda glad to see the back of him when he went back to work


mishka

skintchick

My OH was great with my first mc, treated me like a china doll, not so great the second and rubbish the third - that time he left me bleeding upstairs with no food or drink till mid afternoon! He literally forgot all about me and worked downstairs having plonked DD in front of the TV.

Big hugs Rups, it does get easier, for both of you.

Rups32

Morning ladies.. thanks for the lovely messages and also stories about the hubbies and OHs. think that is how they are built, and to be honest in a way i am glad mine is back at work today but i kind of miss having him around as am having a bit of a crappy day already. think if i am left alone for too long, i start going mad.

i went to the GP to get a medical note for work but the doc who was so sweet also suggested i take more time off work as i need to get over this and if i just dive straight into work, i might not give myself time to get over it. what did you all do? i mean i know its pretty straight forward to go when ready, but i am not sure. i am confused today and just feeling bleurgh. maybe i will go for hubby's comedy tonight and try and laugh if i rest all day at home..

sigh
xx

Metranil_Vavin

Hey Rups.

I took about 7 working days off when I had my mc.

I think you will just 'know' when you are ready to face work again, and you shouldn't rush yourself if you aren't up to it yet.

I did find the first few days back at work tough, but that was more due to the insensitivity of someone in my HR dept and a couple of work colleagues, but I do think it also helped me get back into a routine, and keep my mind occupied.

x

Rups32

i am like that at times and like to keep busy, because right now, i feel i have lots of thinking time and it drives me insane. My friend says to try and relax and make the most of it as just after i got married, i was very run down and then became pregnant and now this. so life has been all rush rush. think also, hubby keeps saying to go back to work as it might keep me busy. it might help but might just take this week and see.. i mean i only had the op on Tues. doc has signed me off for 2 weeks from today. eek!!

i am scared that if i get asked if i am ok or where have i been, i might just cry as not many people at work know..
thanks metranil x

Metranil_Vavin

You don't have to tell anyone anything if you don't want to hon, and if you still feel delicate and like you need more time, then take the Dr's advice and have a bit more time off x

Rups32

i am still unsure and thought was coping OK as i had people around me but today, its a bit too much. I got back from the doc and couldn't get in as we have had a new door fitted and that was just making me sob. . i dont even feel like going out.

sorry from being slightly upbeat before yest, i am down in the dumps today please bear with me all. xxx

Metranil_Vavin

Rups please stop apologising!

There's really no need! Everyone who posts on this thread has been there hon and knows just how hideous the whole thing is and how it affects you for a long time afterwards.

I still get upset about my mc despite it being over 2 years ago now and having had a child since.

Come here and be however you want..that's what we are all here for, to support one another and get everything we feel out in the open with people who understand.

Sometimes not even partners and husbands really get it, which is completely normal too btw. Men's coping mechanism often consists of a 'get on with it' attitude. It's not them being mean or unsympathetic, it's just the way they do things.
x

Rups32

yes they do.. i wish sometimes i could be like that as for me things drag on and on. took me ages to get back to 'normal' after my sis passed away the year before. sometimes things like her fav song etc just get me started.. this is so different as i cant work out, that i feel so sad yet i didnt know the baby, but was looking forward to knowing him/her.. sad thing was it didnt even have a heart beat and was in me for ages and my stupid body carried on.

if feel upto it, might go and plant that rose bush in our messy garden. i am glad this thread and group is here, and you all are here too. *hugs* thank you.

Metranil_Vavin

It sounds like you have been through a lot recently hon. I'm so sorry to hear you lost your sister too.

You're time to be a mother will come. I felt like it would never happen after my mc, but it did and my son is the most beautiful thing in the whole world.

I still grieve for my lost one, but I remind myself that there was a reason he/she didn't make it and that nature, although seemingly cruel at times, does actually deal with things harshly, but often for the right reasons.

Plant your rose bush and remember your LO xx