Miscarriage support

skintchick

Hi Rups. I have had three losses, my first was at 7 weeks in my first pregnancy and was natural and complete. I had DD in 2009 and then have had two losses last year, one at 7 weeks again, another natural and complete one, and the last one was a missed miscarriage like you, found out at my scan baby had died at 10 weeks. I chose to do it naturally but like you was terified of it happening when out and about. in the end, what happened was it began with cramps one evening and I started b leeding the next day (in fact my waters broke first) so you would get warning of it with cramping before the blood came.

I know you are having the ERPC but thought I'd answer your quesiton anyway.

On the religion question, I'm a Christian (regular churchgoer, worship leader) and I have not found my faith has wavered at all, God is good all the time, whatever is happening, and I trust Him to comfort me. I found going to church a comfort, and definitely wouldn;t have stayed away.

Rups32

thanks skintchick. it is peaceful. i felt that today despite my tearing up.

im sorry for your losses though too skintchick. i am way too scared to wait as as it is, my body is still not recognizing it and still giving symptoms. i felt nauseous all day today .:(

i did NOT know that your waters can break when you start MC? that is new to me! i am hoping it stays the way it is now and all is dealt with properly on tuesday.

maire1

When you start ttc, you have no idea of how difficult it can become.
I started ttc about two years ago, assuming it would be easy. I finally got pregnant in August. I was so happy I can't describe it. At seven weeks I lost the baby and can't begin to describe how that felt.

I can't even imagine having theheartbreaking decisions faced by mishka. Until I'm in that position I will never make judgements.

All I know is trying to conceive is not easy for everyone. There's a lot of heartbreak and hurt involved at times. The comfort I take from this is that all of this experience will make me a great mum one day!!!!!

Rups32

hi maire.. weird you say that, as we sometimes think that whenever the time is right we can all fall pregnant. so easy for some relatives to start asking when you will have kids. i think if i have someone ask me that, i will prob burst out crying. :-(

you are right though. these experiences will make us all stronger and great mums. got to be positive otherwise there is no hope.

mishkanorman

Thanks for the replies guys sorry I had such a rant, Im pregnant again and the thought of going through all that we did before is stressing me out so much ! Everything will be the same as last time for where we go and who we see for all the appointments, freaking me out a little :eek:

Rups,

When I had my termination I was told it had to be the medical option only, and like skintchick my waters broke too. I was given a pill and told to return 48 hours ish later for the rest. My consultant said that there was only a 10% chance anything would happen at home which of course with my run of luck happened to me !

Whilst the surgical option scares you I have to say its going to be the easiest on you in the few days afterwards. Take care x x


mishka

Nicki

It isn't the same thing at all mishka, but after I had DD (which was a very difficult assisted delivery and obviously we later found out she was very seriously disabled) I had bad PTSD about delivering again. I had the same consultant, same hospital, the works, and ended up getting very distressed with panic attacks the works around 20 weeks. But bizarrely it ended up being the best thing that could have happened. I spoke to my consultant about how I was feeling (funnily enough on the advice of skintchick who was pregnant at the same time as me), and he instantly transformed from being quite standoffish and crusty, into the most sympathetic and kind doctor I've ever come across (even though he had no idea that the delivery had affected me that way until that point). He spent ages going through what had happened last time and the chances of it recurring (did this on more than one antenatal appointment as I was a mess ), consulted me completely on every part of the rest of the pregnancy, and when the time came to deliver briefed the whole team who would be looking after me about how fragile I was feeling, and they really looked after me well. I know it could not have been as comprehensively covered if I had been seeing a stranger and just trying to explain how distressed I was about what had happened previously.

SusanC_2

Rups32 wrote: »

i am not a very religious person and am Sikh by birth and hubby is Catholic. sometimes i find going to his church peaceful so today he asked me and i initially said no as i felt angry.. dont know why? then later i changed my mind and went and what did i do? i started welling up and felt so sad.. i mean esp as the priest was saying how we should leave everything in God's hands. i do beleive in god but am not very religious. what are your views ladies?

I am a Christian so I although I cannot always see the reasons for things happening, I believe that God always has a purpose and that his purposes are good. It doesn't mean I'm not upset at losing my babies and I'm absolutely gutted that my daughter (who will be five in April) is still an only child (thanks to a combination of HG and three pregnancy losses) but I know that if I don't have another child yet it is for a reason and much as I really want a baby (and would love to have had one ages ago) I know that if it is meant to happen it will happen when it is meant to and not before. I can also see some good that has come out of my experiences as I think (or at least hope) it has made me a better/more thoughtful person. I don't really like to think that I needed something bad to happen to make me a better person and I'm not saying that was *the* purpose of what happened to me but it is one good thing that has come out of it. Also whilst I feel let down and hurt by the thoughtlessness of some friends, I would say that through my experience some of my friendships have grown/strengthened and the gain of those friendships outweighs the loss of others. I feel like I'm rambling a bit now so I'll stop there but I hope that makes some sense.

Rups32

hello ladies.. had a slight freak attack in the morning and hubby had to ring me from work to tell me to calm down and possibly do some meditation.. i still have to do that as been keeping myself busy with housework. i am so useless though, after a bit of hoovering and dusting i got tired.. have to tackle the bathroom and kitchen so when i come back tomorrow, it is sort of tidy. :0)

im much calmer now but lets see how it goes. hopefully this time tomorrow i am sitting here checking my emails and being looked after by my DH. still a bit anxious but i am def feeling comfy that they will all look after me.

ladies i also thought about the fact that if i want to start again a bit later to have a baby i will be slightly worried that it doesnt happen but as mentioned before, if it is meant to happen it will and we never have any control. such a different and hard experience this is as part of life...

will pop back a bit later. xx

portsmouthali

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow Rups, hope all goes well. Take some magazines or a book with you as there's likely to be a bit of hanging around. Let us know how you get on xxxxxx

flowertotmum

Hi rups..good luck hun..i will be thinking of you today..
love
ftm