Miscarriage support

Cullumpster

well since I spoke last time I haven't been to the doctors yet, work etc gets in the way, however tonight went to the loo and I've proper come on!! could this be it now the period they were saying about, I hope so as this could be it now and I can finally have some closure I've been waiting for this since november!

msb5262

Cullumpster wrote: »

well since I spoke last time I haven't been to the doctors yet, work etc gets in the way, however tonight went to the loo and I've proper come on!! could this be it now the period they were saying about, I hope so as this could be it now and I can finally have some closure I've been waiting for this since november!

Hi Cullumpster,
That sounds as if your body is moving on - I'm hoping that will be the case as you'll obviously feel better. Let us know how you get on over the next few days.
Best wishes
MsB

Rups32

Hello everybody,

i am new to this thread and would like to join please? My name is Rupi and on Tuesday i went for a scan only to be told that i have had a delayed/missed miscarriage. as it was my first pregnancy, i feel devastated and sad.. i have booked my surgery for tuesday as the other ways didnt appeal to me, but i am still anxious. anyone at that stage at the moment?

i am not even with it. i hope i can get advise here. thanks so much in advance. x

Nicki

Hi Rups

I am very very sorry for your loss. I read about what you were going through on the under 12 weeks thread, and have been worried about you since your first scan. I am so sorry to see you here. I've had one mmc at 17 weeks and one regular miscarriage at 6 weeks but have never had the surgery. I hope it all goes well for you though, and that it gives you some closure. The continung pregnancy symptoms are sadly very common and very distressing. i had morning sickness and sore boobs for about 2 weeks after my last loss, and it is just one of those cruel tricks your body plays on you.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself a chance to get to grips with what has happened. You should grieve in whatever way you need to, and for as long as you need to, and don't feel guilty about doing so. This thread is checked regularly by all of us who have been through a loss, so if you ever need to offload you can usually be sure of a fairly speedy response.

Rups32

thanks nikki, so sweet of you.. i was asked if i want to wait to do it naturally but the way my body is going, it might take a while and to be honest, now everytime i go to the loo, i am scared that i will start bleeding and it will be heavy etc and what if i leak while i am out? i know its a bit silly but rather than waiting, i think surgery will be the best.

the weird thing is that i have never been under general anaesthetic and am worried that wont wake up again. lol. sill yi know but i am such a wimp when it comes to even giving blood.

how did anyone who have had the EP.. (whatever it is called), and we were fully knocked out? was it ok for some? i dont want to have the area numbed as i am awake as that will make me cry.

i suppose, just waking up and finding it gone might be the best thing.
have had bad and ok moments. am keeping myself busy with housework and meeting my best friend, otherwise sitting at home, is just making me sad.
x

Metranil_Vavin

Sorry to hear your sad news Rups. Miscarriage is such a devastating and sad thing, and it does take time to heal mentally, but hopefully you have a supportive OH and friends and family around who will be there for you in the coming weeks.

I have only experienced a natural and complete miscarriage where I bled fairly heavily for about 2 weeks, but the ERPC seems to be a very common and quick method of ending the mc. I too have a fear of anaesthetic, but I would probably go for this method too had my mc been a missed one as I think the continued symptoms and waiting would be too difficult.

Nicki

Hi Rups. As I said I didn't have the ERPC but I have had loads of procedures under General Anaesthetic in my time. You should be fine. Everyone worries about waking up during the op, or not waking up afterwards but that is incredibly rare. You will be monitored the whole time you are asleep by a doctor who specialises only in anaesthetics and their effects, and while you are coming round, you will be constantly monitored and supervised by a team of nurses who also specialise in this kind of medicine. You should get a chance to talk to the anaesthetist before you go down for surgery on the day, and you should explain all your worries to them and let them reassure you.

When you wake up, you should feel quite calm and relaxed. You will probably be quite sleepy for the remainder of the day, and not feel like eating for a few hours afterwards. You might TMI get a bit constipated for a few days and so it would be good to have something like lactulose in just in case. Otherwise the anaesthetic should have no lasting effects. You are likely to have some bleeding afterwards, and will need some pads as you can't use tampons for this bleeding. You should also be given some guidelines about things like resuming sex, and preventing infection, and also when you can start TTC again if that's something you want to do quickly. If you aren't, then ask before you go home.

Good luck. Hope it all goes well. I saw your post on the less than 12 weeks board. This one is more of a mutually supportive place with bags of practical advice. There isn't a lot of wallowing here (I don't think) though we are always happy to listen if someone is down. Don't feel you have to stay away for fear of being further depressed! We are here whenever you need us.

Metranil_Vavin

I agree with Nicki, Rups. Don't think this is a wallowing thread. it's actually the best place to come for practical advice and a wealth of experience from women (and some men) who have been through it.

It really helped me when I had my mc, and in fact I was eternally grateful to Ali who set the thread up in the first place as there didn't seem to be anywhere for me to go initially to post my feelings.

msb5262

Nicki wrote: »

Hi Rups. As I said I didn't have the ERPC but I have had loads of procedures under General Anaesthetic in my time. You should be fine. Everyone worries about waking up during the op, or not waking up afterwards but that is incredibly rare. You will be monitored the whole time you are asleep by a doctor who specialises only in anaesthetics and their effects, and while you are coming round, you will be constantly monitored and supervised by a team of nurses who also specialise in this kind of medicine. You should get a chance to talk to the anaesthetist before you go down for surgery on the day, and you should explain all your worries to them and let them reassure you.

When you wake up, you should feel quite calm and relaxed. You will probably be quite sleepy for the remainder of the day, and not feel like eating for a few hours afterwards. You might TMI get a bit constipated for a few days and so it would be good to have something like lactulose in just in case. Otherwise the anaesthetic should have no lasting effects. You are likely to have some bleeding afterwards, and will need some pads as you can't use tampons for this bleeding. You should also be given some guidelines about things like resuming sex, and preventing infection, and also when you can start TTC again if that's something you want to do quickly. If you aren't, then ask before you go home.

Good luck. Hope it all goes well. I saw your post on the less than 12 weeks board. This one is more of a mutually supportive place with bags of practical advice. There isn't a lot of wallowing here (I don't think) though we are always happy to listen if someone is down. Don't feel you have to stay away for fear of being further depressed! We are here whenever you need us.

I wish I could thank this post more than once. A really clear explanation and a great description of this thread - well said, Nicki.

Rups, I'm so sorry this has happened. Like Nicki, I saw what you were going through and was worrying about you - it's so unfair, and so horrible that it's not all over. I did have an ERPC and like you I worried about the anaesthetic, but it was fine and actually it seemed a very short time before I was conscious again. Don't get tangled up in anxiety about the anaesthesia, just focus on how you and your partner can get through this - and don't be afraid to grieve. You need to feel how you feel until you don't feel like that any more.

Come back any time if you want a chat, before or after the ERPC. We do all keep an eye on this thread to see if anyone needs support or information or just a vent.

Best wishes and I hope you feel a bit less alone

MsB

Rups32

Thanks metranil and Nikki.. my friend prob said that about the threads as she has seen me quite down and prob thought i might get worse. she dealt with her two MCs by shutting down and not even speaking to me. people are different. I keep stuff inside of me as it would bug me more and i wouldnt be able to deal with it. I wish though i could deal with it the way my darling husband does as it appears to be less painful. think i got way too attached with the little one, as soon as i found out. its only natural isnt it?


i am very glad i came on here. i know it was a bit silly chatting about not being able to wake up afterwards. im such a wimp and so scared of death., lol.. have seen lots of it and i know i wont even know if i ever dont wake up so why panic right? silly me.

Thanks for the support though. think its just a mixture of things like saying bye to the baby, and then dealing with afterwards....plus the surgery as have never ever had any.. i am sure it will be fine once all done.. sigh.. so wanted that baby..

i know we will have our chance but its that feeling that everyone goes through sadly before they see the light at the end of the tunnel. its lovely to find support in so many ways though. its also good that i have been keeping busy for the past two days otherwise i would have gone insane.. my bellys looks s big but its all bloating but being aware of the fact that it is still inside me, is making me sad