Miscarriage support

cleofish

Thanks everyone for their kind words, i feel a lot better today, even just writing the post yesterday i think in a way helped. Even if no one had replied it was good just to get my feelings out and on 'paper'.

Colli: thanks so much for your words and your advice, i think I will def look into them. Funnily enough ive been seeing a lot of things for acupuncture recently and thought I might have a go and try that. I am open minded and would try most things so I might have a go even if its just to learn to relax and ease up a bit. Going to try going back to the gym as well and eating healthy and generally looking after myself as well, hopefully feeling better in my body will make me feel more positive in my mind as well.



SusanC: thanks for your words and reassurance as well, its nice to hear from someone else that other people understand my feelings.


cullumpster: did you have any medical intervention for the mmc in november or did you take the natural go home route? I think perhaps even if its just for peace of mind go to docs and get it checked out, if you have been bleeding from nov it might affect your iron levels which can make you feel knackered, and it does seem a very long time. I had d and c after mine so only really bleed for a week after. Have you had a break in bleeding and now perhaps its your af? Or has it been continual since nov?
edit: Sorry just seen you had the erpc, dont think it should have gone on this long (the bleeding) if I were you I would make an appoinment with gp or maybe phone EPU and get it checked out next week.



Portsmouthali: I know what you mean about the pain being released, its not melodramatic at all. I hold stuff in a lot and I dont think we realise how it can build up and I know for myself around afs time it probably all comes to a head and bubbles over and perhaps thats why I find it such an emotionally charged time. I think it might be useful for me in the future just to 'get it all out' so to speak with a stranger and perhaps move on. Thanks for your advice, I think I might have a look and contact the miscarriage association on monday and see if they can point me in the right direction.


Littlewhiteowl: Sorry to hear of your loss and I can understand when you said all you can see is children and pregnant women, they have probably been there all the time its just we are more in tune with it now and spot them more because of what we have been through. Do you have anyone that you could talk to about what happened, maybe a friend or relative? or perhaps like me I am going to look into contacting the miscarriage association. It might help you to talk things through about what happened and how you feel now with someone other than you oh perhaps to begin with and take it from there.



Also thanks skintchick for your words, sending you hugs as well, hoping you feel a little better today. It must have been very hard to have 2 in one year and i will be hoping that things work out for you this year.


I really do hope 2012 will bring everyone happiness one way or another.
thanks again.

mollymunchkin

Hello ladies

It saddens me to be posting on this thread but here goes...

I had a mc on Tuesday night at 8wks +6 days. Everything had been going fine with the pregnancy then I had a big bleed out of the blue, no pains or cramps. It scared the life out of me and I arranged to see the out of hours doctor. I immediately knew that I'd lost the baby but wanted confirmation. She couldn't confirm anything, pregnancy test that night was +ve. Arranged scan at the EPU for Wednesday morning. Second pg test there was also +ve but scan revealed that my identical twins did not have heartbeats. They looked perfect on the scan, the proper size and everything.

I had an erpc on Thursday and despite me looking like I was coping at the hospital, I was actually trying desperately to hold it all together. Came home Friday. I found it hard in deciding how to manage the mc. Every option seemed awful and now I'm not sure if I've done the right thing. Too late now I guess.

I just needed to get this out somewhere. I am lucky that we have a 7 yr old already but at 41 and after 6 years of trying (on and off) I'm not sure if this was my last chance.

BikerChick

MollyMunchKin, sorry to see you on this thread, but the gang here are fab should you have a need to and questions or just 'type away' with some feelings.
Do read the past messages, I hope with running a family you will be able to take all the time you need to come to terms with what has happened.

Skintchick, I hope the cold weather this weekend provides an opportunity for a family walk (or something like that) to lift your spirits.

portsmouthali

Mollymunchkin, I'm so sorry. It somehow (to me) seems worse that you lost twins, I'm not sure why. My 3rd miscarriage sounds similar, in that my scan at 11 weeks showed a perfect looking baby lying completely still I won't forget that image as long as I live.

It is awful having to make the decision on how to manage a loss, as you're not really in the right frame of mind to decide anything. It's a very personal thing but for what it's worth, having done it both ways I would go for ERPC every time as I found it very distressing & drawn out doing it all at home.

I also understand where you're coming from with the age thing as I'm 39 in a couple of months. I always said my cut-off point would be 40 but as that age is not too far off I'm starting to change my mind

Kitten_Pie

Mollymunchkin my heart goes out to you, I lost my ID boys at 31 weeks in October and remember seeing them still on the monitor. There is nothing I can say to make things better but I am thinking of you.

Littlewhiteowl, I spent as long as I can remember trying to get my finances in order so that I could look after my children without worrying about money. Unfortunately I am now in the position where I don't have to worry about money too much but have no babies to look after. I would change it the other way round if I had to go back and start earlier.

Its probably the wrong thing to say but people manage, it might not be financially the best time but there will never be a right time.

BikerChick

Well scan today was positive that I my body has successfully dealt with the MMC at long last and everything has been 'flushed' away.
I feel that this is positive as :
1. I do not need medication as the next step
2. I am not going ot have further complications and need the op
3. I can stop dwelling on what ifs and get on with try no. 2

I am now going to duck out of this thread and see what the future brings along.

I wish you all success and hopefully see some of you shortly on the under 12wks thread again.

cleofish

hi everyone, just seen your post bikerchick, glad to hear everything looks ok for you, wishing you luck in ttc.

just wanted a bit of advice really from anyone thats had a erpc, i had a mmc found beginning of nov, i eventually had the erpc carried out as nothing was happening for me naturally, and i think about 6 weeks later mid dec i had an af, lasted 3 days which is very short for me but it was quite heavy.

Since then we have been ttc but i am still awaiitng my af for jan. Im normally or was normally before the mc on a 28 day cycle but ive already gone past that now on 32 days, ive checked and im not pregnant as well.

Were anyones af irregular after the d and c or erpc? i understood the first one takes a while and mine took 6 weeks to arrive but i thought it would have fallen back into place then? Are the other af still irregular for a while afterwards as well?

thanks in advance for any help.

SusanC_2

Cleofish the times I've had a big enough interval between pregnancies I've always noticed a difference in my cycles compared with previously. I haven't had ERPC or a large enough interval after the early miscarriages to tell but I would think it reasonable that you could have a change after a shorter pregnancy as you've still had all the upheaval in your body with all the hormone changes.

flowertotmum

Hello all..thank you for the messages of support it really helps to know i am not alone...i had an awful weekend in hospital..drugged up and in pain but no bleeding..they sent me home with painkillers..i was in a really bad way..but they insisted i was ok..i had my erpc on monday..am struggling with my feelings on this..in one way i was relieved to get it done and stop all the pain but another way i am so sad and feel a bit lost...
I want to get back to normal but i feel confused on how i feel..obviously i am happy to be here and have my tots with me and my oh..but at 43 i do think that this was my last chance and i am a bit angry with the way i was just left in a room all weekend..
My consultant was really lovely and apologized for it all but it doesn't help..
When i am with my tots and hubby i am ok..but when i am alone i cry and wonder if getting pregnant was selfish..but i so wanted just one more baby..is that a bad thing..
sorry just rambling trying to get it all down..
ftm

TeamLowe

lots of love to everyone as always, especially those who have found themselves here recently.
flowertotmum i'm sorry to hear about your treatment, unfortunately medical proffesionals have a tendency to forget that whilst they see this sort of thing all the time, it's a heartbreaking experience for us parents.

Not sure who mentioned thinking about counselling but i just wanted to say that i had it and i think it really really helped. i was also of the opinion that as long as i get pregnant soon i'll be ok and get over it but then i googled something and it showed that women who have given birth to their forever baby still feel depressed about the loss of their angel. that made me realise that there's no garuntee it would solve everything.
and actually, through the counselling i realised that i was actually putting myself under a ridiculous amount of pressure to be better, to do better, to get pregnant straight away. i needed to, not relax exactly, but give myself a break and time to grieve for my loss. our forever babies will come one day, and no amount of hurting myself from needless pressure and trying to deny how i feel will make that come any quicker and lord knows it didn't help me deal with my loss.

all my babies deserve a mummy who loves herself x x