Miscarriage support

SusanC_2

Regardless of my personal views on termination, I am capable of recognising that someone who chooses tfmr has still lost a wanted child and has the same grief as anyone who has lost a baby and I am sorry that some people don't seem to recognise this.

I think the choice over screening is complex and cannot be described as a refection of how much one loves ones child. I choose not to have some screening because I see no benefit to me knowing antenatally but other screening I choose to have because it can make a difference to the child's health/chances of survival to know beforehand. For me its to do with the choices I would make and the risks/benefits associated with knowing or not knowing.

Kitten_Pie

I agree that a loss is a loss and that this thread isn't here to judge.

If we are going to be picky then I shouldn't be on this thread because I didn't have a miscarriage but am thankful that I have a place to go to even if it just to lurk most of the time.

Kitten_Pie

With regards to unhelpful comments, I have to admit that before going through this I was probably someone who came out with the most 'unhelpful' comments and now regret saying them. However it has also put it into perspective that unless you have been in this position that no one knows what to say. As long as it has come from a 'good' place then I have taken all comments how they have been meant and not necessarily how they have come across.

There are people out there who are spiteful and mean to be hurtful, these people don't deserve your time or thoughts.

Rups32

Hugs to all. XX

i am sorry to hear about everyone's losses too. Like it has already been mentioned that a loss if a loss and mishka and kittenpie, please dont say you have to go.. i am so glad that we are here for each other to listen and to advise. people who judge are ignorant at times and sometimes even though we have freedom of speech or our own opinions, people forget being sensitive and sympathetic and tbh, whoever does that does not even deserve your attention!!

i am so much calmer reading about the EPRc (i always forget what round the abbreviation for this is, as i only got to know about it properly in this week).. if it werent for you all advising, i would have really been panicking about not waking up.. :rotfl:

am smiling as just realised how silly i sound!! wimp me...

we had gone out for dinner with DH's cousins which was nice as it was another welcome break. sad thing is i still get very exhausted nd then start getting irritable and start asking hubby to hurry.. oops... i got home and took off my bra and just burst out crying as my boobs are still so sore, and all day i felt queasy... i just questioned why these symptoms are still haunting me and i couldnt take it.. got a lovely hug from hubby and then calmed down....its such test between couples as well. i know men care but their tolerance levels are lower than us and sometimes if they see a woman so down, it can get to them, but i know he will support me and be there. bless all the darling OH's and hubbies..

well just counting days till Tues. i do have to calm down and also rest as i get so tired.. so tomorrow i guess will try and do some house work.
i am thinking of sharing the news with some of my work mates as they are lovely and rather than just telling then i had the flu, i am sure they will sympathise with me. hubby hasnt chatted to any of his friends so did say to him, if it helps him, he should chat to a few of his only close friends.

a huge test but we will all get there. xxxx

flowertotmum

Hi all..hope your all ok sounds daft but i really hope you are..the unhelpful comments are just awful..i had one and had to literally restrain myself from smashing her face in...but then she doesn't like me anyway and took her chance at having a free dig whilst i was down...
As someone has already said a loss is a loss...you are connected to that baby and you miss it...doesn't matter wether it was a choice or no choice it still hurts.
Rupi..i had my erpc on monday and honestly i was ok...have had worse periods and period pains...i went to sleep and woke up within an hour..
My big test is tomorrow..i have to go to school and pick up my littlie..my friend knows and has told a few others but thats it..thankfully i didn't tell that many folks i was expecting..only immmediate family and a friend.
Right i am off to have a cuddle and cuppa with my lovely hubby..who has bought me a beautiful rose bush for the garden..a little something to remember our little rosebud..
love
ftm

msb5262

The last few posts on here have brought tears to my eyes - tears of admiration as well as sadness...

You are a fantastic bunch of women, all ready to help, support and be there for each other. Everyone is different but we have all had our very bad times, and it really is a caring place.

Thank you again to portsmouthali who created the thread. I think it has been a safety net for lots of us.

Hope everyone has as good a Sunday as their circumstances will permit.

love from MsB x

Rups32

ah flower and MsB, that was so sweet. i got sad and teary too. its in a way nice to share the same or near enough the same emotions and feelings and sometimes i think women like us on here can only understand each other better than some other people..

flower i really hate it when you feel down and people feel they can put their 2p worth of stupid opinion to kick you.. i really hate that. i would have smasher their head in. call me next time, me and hubby do kung fu. hehe. i have stopped for the time being as dont feel upto it and will wait till all done at the hosp. then deal with everything in steps. hope you had a nice cuddle with your hubby?

i just watched a horror with mine and am freaked out. i normally like them but the sounds and jumpy bits scare the hell out of me. dont ever watch Insidious. eek! the faces scare me too. i hope i can sleep tonight.

i am not a very religious person and am Sikh by birth and hubby is Catholic. sometimes i find going to his church peaceful so today he asked me and i initially said no as i felt angry.. dont know why? then later i changed my mind and went and what did i do? i started welling up and felt so sad.. i mean esp as the priest was saying how we should leave everything in God's hands. i do beleive in god but am not very religious. what are your views ladies? i admit, i had started listening to my sikh prayers for a little while but have stopped since after the scan. still have mixed feeling but do not blame anyone, esp not me..

ok im rambling.. i suppose the sleep will help me on tues and one of my friends who knows about this, said hubby can laugh at me before i go to sleep as will chat rubbish. he always makes fun of me anyway being a stand-up comedian.. oh well. hope everyone is doing ok and are having a hopefully peaceful weekend. xxx

Rups32

ftm good luck for tomorrow. be strong.*hug*. ps. i also asked hubby this morning about getting a rose plant for our garden to dedicate it to little one? nice but sad hey?

elliebobs

Rups32 wrote: »

ftm good luck for tomorrow. be strong.*hug*. ps. i also asked hubby this morning about getting a rose plant for our garden to dedicate it to little one? nice but sad hey?

My goodness, it's been a while since I posted on here. In a way I'm glad it's still providing a lot of support but wish there was no need for it.:(

Rups; it's not sad in wanting a rose plant, or anything else for that matter. Everyone deals with the grieving process differently and if someone helps you then go for it.

I specifically replied to you as you mentioned you were having concerns about the ERPC. I had one, after medical management wasn't succesful. I did have a problem in coming around after the op, my blood pressure dropped and kick started all the alarms which was pretty terrifying. Anyway, the point is that within seconds I had a veritable army of highly qualifed and experienced medical staff at my bedside and all was ok in a pretty short space of time and I was sat up eating two slices of toast as if the drama hadn't happened!. So, whatever your concerns remember that you're in the hands of the experts and they have dealt with pretty much everything. This op is, sadly, pretty routine so the odds of anything going drastically wrong is pretty negligable.

I hope I haven't scared you as that really wasn't my intention but rather just wanted to let you know that when there are problems they are dealt with promptly and with your health as an absolute priority.

Take care

Rups32

im trying my best to remain calm. i dont know where i got this fear from? my sis and i were always scared of it and god bless her soul, she managed to do it. i know so many people who have had it as well, and you ladies too. i should calm down otherwise i might end up having a panic attack. when they do say 'you could have a reaction to it' what do they mean? sorry am being thick considering i have a chemistry back ground.