Miscarriage support

emsbet

colli wrote: »

Speaking of funny things people say my mum said the other day "be careful though, you'll be likely to catch quickly after your op", um, GOOD! I guess mums never grow out of telling their daughters to "be careful" when it comes to pregnancy! Think she's just worried about me rushing things but still....

Like you say she's probably just worried about you. DH wasn't keen on us trying straight away after we lost Alex and I think part of him was relieved we didn't catch that first month. It's not because he doesn't want me to get pregnant again but that he was worried about what my body has been through and also what we've been through emotionally.

It didn't matter to me though what my body has been through and I feel that emotionally I won't feel completely "better" until we get our forever baby. I just don't think he got that though.

xx

colli

my hubby wants to try again straight away which is fine. After the last mc I tied myself in knots as I was so desperate to get pregnant again, I'm sure that didn't help. I don't think I'm going to rejoin the ttc thread, we've been trying since Oct 2010 and I've spent nearly 20 weeks pregnant in that time, it's really taken over my life and I'm just not prepared to go down that route again. I'd sit and cry if we didn't manage to dtd on ov day and was devestated everytime af arrived . I'll happily keep half an eye on my cm and may even wee on the odd ov stick but I can't obsess anymore. I think I've probably spent more time looking online for fertility tips than I have doing my job!

Might send OH over to you lot on the ttc thread though, that will be an eye opener for him, I don't think he has any idea the lengths I went to "behind the scenes";)

Thanks for the support guys :)xx

emsbet

colli wrote: »

my hubby wants to try again straight away which is fine. After the last mc I tied myself in knots as I was so desperate to get pregnant again, I'm sure that didn't help. I don't think I'm going to rejoin the ttc thread, we've been trying since Oct 2010 and I've spent nearly 20 weeks pregnant in that time, it's really taken over my life and I'm just not prepared to go down that route again. I'd sit and cry if we didn't manage to dtd on ov day and was devestated everytime af arrived . I'll happily keep half an eye on my cm and may even wee on the odd ov stick but I can't obsess anymore. I think I've probably spent more time looking online for fertility tips than I have doing my job!

Might send OH over to you lot on the ttc thread though, that will be an eye opener for him, I don't think he has any idea the lengths I went to "behind the scenes";)

Thanks for the support guys :)xx

Sounds like a plan Colli. You have to do what's right for you. I wish you all the best and I hope you'll keep us updated.

xx

Metranil_Vavin

Good luck colli, and so sorry to hear about your loss x

SusanC_2

I'm so sorry for your loss colli - it's so disheartening to think "I've spent x weeks being pregnant and am still no closer."

msb5262

Very sorry to hear your news, Colli. I hope you feel that at least everyone here has an idea how you're feeling at the moment.
Will keep you in my thoughts over the weekend - along with others who have suffered losses recently, and those whose due dates are coming up. It's impossible not to watch the calendar almost obsessively during the "should have been pregnant" time...

Love to all
MsB

Kitten_Pie

Hi Guys,

I haven't posted on this thread before however I know most of your from the ttc thread and a few from the pg threads.

I have had a bad day today and didn't think it would be right to bring the pma down elsewhere.

Last couple of days I have been picking my nephew up from school and looking after him for a few hours which has been lovely however have seen a few twin mums at the school which I met at the twin club when I first went on maternity leave. I don't think they recognised me as I have cut all my hair off and dyed it pink since the only time they met me. Unfortunately both the mums had identical twin boys which made it doubly hard and just made me think that I should be there with mine.

I can't stop crying this evening and feel like things should be getting better.

Hugs to all those who are here. :grouphug:

---

For those who don't know my story, below is what my Oh wrote and sent to friends:

On October 19 2011 Holly gave birth to Lincoln Marcus Boyd and Nathan Henry Boyd. Unfortunately our two boys were still born at 31 weeks.

The cause of death was acute twin to twin transfusion syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twin-to-twin_transfusion_syndrome). It is rare for this syndrome to occur at such a late stage in the pregnancy and its acute nature meant that there was nothing that could be done to save them.

We discovered that their hearts had stopped beating early on this week. Holly was given medication to induce labour with the expectation that she would deliver our boys on Thursday. Everything happened very quickly though and instead labour started on Tuesday night. Our boys were born in the early hours of Wednesday morning.

The news came as a massive shock as we both thought that TTTS would be unlikely to occur. We had very little time to absorb the news so the speed of labour was hugely distressing. Following their birth we had a chance to meet them for the first time. The midwives had dressed Nathan and Lincoln in the outfits that we had originally intended to use for taking them home.

They were very beautiful in their moses basket and they were surrounded by the toy bears bought as gifts.

Our boys were identical but there were clear differences between them. In their faces we could see elements of the both of us. We got to hold them and give them cuddles to show them the love we have for them.

Whilst our time with them was limited our family got to meet Nathan and Lincoln. A lot of photos were taken and in time we may make them available but some of them are distressing. We have photos, hand and foot prints and memories to keep them in our hearts and lives.

They were in our lives for 31 weeks and even from the early scans we could see glimpses of their personalities as we watched them play together and use each other as pillows. They would frequently make our consultant and sonographers work for their money by skilfully avoiding any attempt to scan them or crossing their legs when we tried to find out whether they were boys or girls.

We have spoken to a number of you to tell you the news and the most common response has been “I don’t know what to say”. That’s understandable. If you are worried there is advice available on the SANDS website (http://www.uk-sands.org/Support/For-family-and-friends.html) on what to say and what not to say and ways you can help.

colli

oh Kitten Pie, so sorry you're having rough day. I've read your other posts and you seem so brave and strong, don't beat yourself up for being sad. it's such a short time since you lost your boys, I can't imagine how long it would take to even begin to get over something like that. I think you'd need to be some kind of robot not to get upset today .

love the sound of your hair btw, wish I had the guts to do that

emsbet

Oh kitten Sorry I wasn't around last night to send you big ((hugs)). It must be terribly hard seeing them.
For what it's worth I think you are doing fabulously. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to feel "better". You need to go at your own pace. I know that sometimes it feels like its never going to be better but I promise you that little by little the good days will start to outweigh the bad and the world will start to seem a little brighter again.
You, your OH, Nathan and Lincoln are in my thoughts.

xx

emsbet

How are you doing today colli? I was thinking of you all day yesterday.

xx