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Miscarriage support

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  • Saffagal
    Saffagal Posts: 684 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Combo Breaker
    Happy New Year everyone...
    Hope that you're all doing ok; it's a hard time of the year to be feeling sad as everyone is so full of cheer! Actually got quite irritating truth be told! I've been doing ok - quite up and down still, especially over the Christmas weeks; couldn't forget how many weeks I should have been. Had a rough day on Boxing day as it was the first time seeing my sister-in-law, who is due in March, since we had our miscarriage... but we lived through it! Just had her round this afternoon for tea and no tears this time! Progress!

    Anyway... this is meant to be on a positive note, so here's a little prayer that this year is the year for us to have our babies and bring them home, healthy and happy.
    Sending lots of sticky baby dust and prayers for each and everyone of you who're going through or have been through a miscarriage. Take care of yourself x
  • msb5262
    msb5262 Posts: 1,619 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Saffagal wrote: »
    Happy New Year everyone...
    Hope that you're all doing ok; it's a hard time of the year to be feeling sad as everyone is so full of cheer! Actually got quite irritating truth be told! I've been doing ok - quite up and down still, especially over the Christmas weeks; couldn't forget how many weeks I should have been. Had a rough day on Boxing day as it was the first time seeing my sister-in-law, who is due in March, since we had our miscarriage... but we lived through it! Just had her round this afternoon for tea and no tears this time! Progress!

    Anyway... this is meant to be on a positive note, so here's a little prayer that this year is the year for us to have our babies and bring them home, healthy and happy.
    Sending lots of sticky baby dust and prayers for each and everyone of you who're going through or have been through a miscarriage. Take care of yourself x

    That was really a lovely thought - you are brilliant!

    This is one of the times of year when it's hard not to be thinking about what might have been so your positive attitude is fab.
    Hope it will help anyone who is posting or lurking here.

    Here's to a happy, healthy 2012 for you all.

    MsB x
  • Saffagal wrote: »
    Happy New Year everyone...
    Hope that you're all doing ok; it's a hard time of the year to be feeling sad as everyone is so full of cheer! Actually got quite irritating truth be told! I've been doing ok - quite up and down still, especially over the Christmas weeks; couldn't forget how many weeks I should have been.

    It's so true. As I hung my son's stocking at the fireplace, my OH said "I thought we might have been able to hang 2 stockings this year" :o

    Maybe this year, eh? :)

    Happy new year to you all, and thanks for keeping me company :A
  • sexki11en
    sexki11en Posts: 1,286 Forumite
    Unfortunately the new year bought no hope for us following ouR MC. Our follow up consultation with the clinic gave us 1% odds of conceiving ourselves and we don't have funds for IVF.

    Christmas week should have been the week we were able to tell people we were expecting and to top it all off, I was asked at work today if I was 'hiding a little secret'. Even though I said no, I was asked if I was sure :mad:

    After I'd said I was sure, I was just getting fat and was asked again if I was sure, I snapped and said 'yes, I'm sure, I lost my baby in October so unless the hospital made a big mistake with my hormone levels, i'm fat, not pregnant'

    I so wanted to stand there, rubbing my belly smugly and say yes, as I would have been able to in a sliding doors moment :(

    So now we try to come to terms with the fact we'll never have a baby of our own.

    Happy New freaking year!

    (No, i'm not dealing with any of this particularly well if it's not obvious)

    SK x
    After 4 years of heartache, 3 rounds of IVF and 1 loss :A - we are finally expecting our miracle Ki11en - May 2014 :j

    And a VERY surprise miracle in March 2017!
  • SusanC_2
    SusanC_2 Posts: 5,344 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    sexki11en wrote: »
    After I'd said I was sure, I was just getting fat and was asked again if I was sure, I snapped and said 'yes, I'm sure, I lost my baby in October so unless the hospital made a big mistake with my hormone levels, i'm fat, not pregnant'

    SK x

    I'm so sorry you've had to deal with such insensitivity. Hopefully what you said will make that person think again in future.
    Any question, comment or opinion is not intended to be criticism of anyone else.
    2 Samuel 12:23 Romans 8:28 Psalm 30:5
    "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die"
  • sexki11en
    sexki11en Posts: 1,286 Forumite
    You know what, she's a lovely person and genuinely upset now but I felt like i'd been punched in the stomach. I feel bad that she feels so bad.
    I mean, she must have been fairly sure to say what she did - you wouldn't say something like that unless you were, would you?

    Like I said, not coping very well at all right now.

    SK x
    After 4 years of heartache, 3 rounds of IVF and 1 loss :A - we are finally expecting our miracle Ki11en - May 2014 :j

    And a VERY surprise miracle in March 2017!
  • So sorry SK, thinking of you & your OH. Feel free to rant on here as much as you like :)

    I'm not feeling too hopeful myself at the moment, and it's not being helped by the world & his flaming wife announcing pregnancies all over my facebook :mad: scan pictures everywhere!

    Once of my colleagues went on maternity leave yesterday, and I wrote nice things in her card but didn't think nice things in my head :o Luckily she finishes earlier than me, and I was in a meeting when she got handed her presents and went home. If I hadn't had my miscarriage in August, I'd have been going on maternity leave too, so I really didn't want to be there for that bit. I hate being all bitter & twisted about it, but sometimes it's hard.
  • emsbet
    emsbet Posts: 5,237 Forumite
    sexki11en wrote: »
    You know what, she's a lovely person and genuinely upset now but I felt like i'd been punched in the stomach. I feel bad that she feels so bad.
    I mean, she must have been fairly sure to say what she did - you wouldn't say something like that unless you were, would you?

    Like I said, not coping very well at all right now.

    SK x

    Don't beat yourself up about it. When you said no the first time she should have left it. Even if she was sure and you were pregnant if you answered no it should have been clear that you weren't ready to tell. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that on top of everything else you have been/are going through.

    xx
    :A 09.06.11:A 07.10.11:A
    Gorgeous baby boy born 16.09.12 :happylove

    :kisses2:The world moves for love. It kneels before it in awe :kisses2:

    Patience is a virtue I lack! :p
  • SusanC_2
    SusanC_2 Posts: 5,344 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    SK I think a lot of people don't think about what they say and what it might mean to the other person. I had someone declare in a group conversation how terrible pregnancy is and then followed it up by saying it's worth it when your baby is born and that after a couple of weeks you wish that you could send it back. When I emailed explaining that having suffered hyperemesis gravidarum, given birth to my dead daughter at 23 weeks and buried her ten days later I found what she'd said extremely upsetting she apologised and said she'd had no idea she had been saying things that might upset me.
    Any question, comment or opinion is not intended to be criticism of anyone else.
    2 Samuel 12:23 Romans 8:28 Psalm 30:5
    "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die"
  • SusanC_2
    SusanC_2 Posts: 5,344 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Also I think it is always extremely rude to ask someone if they are pregnant in any circumstances. One should always wait for the information to be volunteered.
    Any question, comment or opinion is not intended to be criticism of anyone else.
    2 Samuel 12:23 Romans 8:28 Psalm 30:5
    "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die"
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