Miscarriage support

msb5262

Skintchick, hang on in there. You are very much not alone.

I know many, many people who have miscarried - often more than once - and they all succeeded in the end.

You are overwhelmingly likely to carry a healthy baby to term so please try to hold onto that.

Just make sure you are being very kind to yourself and don't hurry to feel better immediately; you have to feel like this until you don't feel like this any more.

I wish I could give you a big hug and reassure you about the future!

Best wishes - to you and to everyone else who is in pain tonight - and sleep well everyone

MsB x

skintchick

Thanks Emsbet. This friend did have a mc in May, and she has been really supportive of me, so I feel bad about the way I feel, especially as she has chosen not to tell me, presumably to save me feeling like this, which is so sweet of her, but I have four pregnant friends, and loads have just had their second babies, and I work one morning a week with newborn babies helping with breastfeeding support (which I went back to today) and I seem to be surrounded by them!

Does this pain ever go away? I feel utterly bereft tonight, it's like a physical weight in my chest. I know I have DD but somehow that just does not help.

emsbet

skintchick wrote: »

Does this pain ever go away? I feel utterly bereft tonight, it's like a physical weight in my chest. I know I have DD but somehow that just does not help.

I'm not sure if it ever does but I think what happens is you learn to deal and cope with it. I'm still working on it myself

xx

mishkanorman

emsbet wrote: »

I'm not sure if it ever does but I think what happens is you learn to deal and cope with it. I'm still working on it myself

xx

Me too sat watching New Moon at the cinema last night with a whole bunch of friends - I'd forgotten how much of it was about pregnancy and giving birth (to a girl to make matters worse) and struggled to keep it in check.

I managed though so I guess it does get easier with time

Saffagal

I had a mmc at the beginning of Nov, discovered when we went for our scan (perfectly formed but no heartbeat). It was our first baby and my first pregnancy. I'm doing better but still very emotional and quite irrational at times. I still cry most days but today I managed to go into a shop for the first time since my mmc - major progress for me!
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has posted on this board. As I started feeling stronger I read through this board and it helped me to feel less alone.
I was struggling to come to terms with my body not recognising that my baby had died... until someone said that it was my body's way of ensuring that it did everything it could to support our baby and to give our baby the best chance of survival.
Thank you each and everyone of you for you support - without knowing that you offer it, you do just by sharing your story.

skintchick

THanks for posting Saffagal. Sorry for your loss. :A

portsmouthali

Saffagal wrote: »

Thank you each and everyone of you for you support - without knowing that you offer it, you do just by sharing your story.

What a lovely thing to say:A Thanks so much xxxx Sorry for your loss, hope you're doing OK xxxx

BikerChick

Bad news earlier today - baby still 5-6wks but now 'dead' blood sack, just need to wait for the 'MC' bit now.

I did have bright red with clots (looked like little livers) and bad cramps mainly to the RHS to begin with and thats what got me the EP scan appointment on the 13th Dec, I should have been approx 10wks at that point but bean only measured 5wks. EP lady said it could go either way, as you would imagine, 'wait 2wks and lets see' kinda thing.
I have had dark brown blood now for a week and very very little, not enough to wear a pad anyway. I was still 50/50 this morning.

Not feeling bad about it as 2wks ago I should have been 10ish wks, so that had said to me that there was more chance it was over already than still progressing.

I have had a read of some the the newer posts and the experiences from you guys for my options going forward, I'll likely have another read tomorrow.....

I must say thanks to you all already for (another MSE) fab thread of impartial views and experiences that I can call on.

msb5262

Hi Bikerchick,

Very sorry to see you here - I'm sure it's the last place you'd choose. You obviously had a feeling before the scan that this would be the outcome but it doesn't make it any easier.

I think a missed miscarriage is hard to cope with because you know that although the pregnancy has ended, it's not all over and done with. Did the hospital give you any options (e.g. medical management (tablets) or ERPC) or are they assuming everything will happen naturally in due course? As you can see above, posters here have been through every option and if you do need the benefit of their experience, most people will readily share with you either on this thread or via PM if you prefer.

Hope you are coping ok and that your OH is too. It's hard when it's Christmas and New Year, and this is a time when you were expecting still to be pregnant.

Best wishes

MsB

BikerChick

thanks for the reply MsB.

I am going to wait 2wks, hope nature does its own thing before that, now its been formalised and 16th Jan scan to confirm 'all washed away' correctly. If it doesn't happen by the Fri 13th, I will call to change from scan to medical management.
An ERPC would be a quicker process but my body is not very good with chemicals and I suffer from IBS just to add more difficulties, as you have to go sooo long without food before the op plus further stress of the op itself.

We told no-one including my work (wanted to wait for 12wk ok scan) and I'm not a 'softer' person, so taking it all very logically (so far anyway) its a real shame as this was our first pregnancy and had been trying for a year but if its not meant to be, so be it.