Miscarriage support

skintchick

I think there will always be a lot more blood than you think, because honestly a LOT of blood and stuff does come out. IT can be scary the first time cos it feels like something must be wrong but actually your body just builds up such a good lining in the womb even in a few weeks that it does all have to come out again.

I did find this time that I had to ensure I stood up at least once an hour otherwise I'd find blood just pouring out and down my legs, but maternity pads and regularly getting upright does help. The first few days it is like a tap has been turned on, and you do also get large pieces of womb lining and clots coming out which do feel a bit icky. I found this time that squatting very low over a bowl was better than sitting on the loo, as the lower you are the more open your hips, so the less oyu feel the stuff coming out. But you do then have to empty the bowl into the toilet, which I was fine with, but some people might find a bit grim. I thought that I would, actually, but in the event it wasn;t grim, just interesting but I think I'm weird I loved looking at my placenta after I had DD as well.

I can give you more practical help if you do want to do it at home, but I don;t want to put you off too much! It sounds awful reading about it but going through it, to be honest the emotional side is such that I don;t concentrate on the physical too much.

I used to have dreadful periods, but while I would never say a mc is comparable to a period, I don;t think that it is too far off if you have had awful periods. Strong painkillers and being prepared for the blood will get you through that side of it.

It sucks so much that I know all of this! I have far too much experience.

portsmouthali

So sorry for your loss Scarly xx

I've had 4 losses in total, 2 "natural" & 2 ERPCs. I found the ERPC better for me, didn't have much bleeding after and less pain than my normal period pain. I found doing it at home very distressing and much more painful than I thought it would be - with my first loss I had proper full-on contractions which I wasn't expecting at all! I'm not trying to scare you, just sharing my experiences. It is a very personal thing and you just have to go with your gut instinct. Thinking of you xxx

mishkanorman

To give my experience (which I hope may help)

I had the medical termination at 15 weeks, our little girl had been diagnosed with Edwards syndrome.

I had the first of the pills they give you and was told to return in 48hours, we didnt get quite that far and in the morning my waters broke. I was rushed to hospital and checked, I had passed baby and they helped with the placenta. I bled for a week afterwards and whilst i cannot deny the first day felt tough, the rest - for me - were bearable and I didnt have any pain meds at any point (not even paracetamol).


I hope this can balance the experience of others to show you whilst loosing baby at later stages is without doubt tough on you, its not necessarily physically rough going.

take care x x

TeamLowe

so sorry for your loss
maybe medical management would be a good compromise between the surgery and having it at home if you're worried about the timescale?
i had mine confirmed on the wednesday, took the first pill on the friday afternoon and went in on the monday to be monitored and take the second lot of pills. i had started bleeding over the weekend and as it turned out passed the baby on the sunday (i think, i didn't look to closely), had a scan at 1 in the afternoon to confirm everything was gone and was able to leave at 1.30. stopped bleeding the following monday, so was only bleeding for around 10 days.

emsbet

I would say the good thing about medical management is that as you are in hospital you get stronger pain relief. I had pethedin (sp?) but the doctor had also said I could have gas and air if I needed it. You also have someone who is trained there to reassure you.
I was the same as Ali and had full on contractions with mine which I couldn't manage with the paracetemol and codiene they first gave me because they were so painful.

I was terrified before I went back into the hospital about what was going to happen and about seeing Alex but I am more terrified of general anesthetic I did however find it really helpful seeing my baby afterwards as it helped me bring closure to the situation. I found the idea and anticipation of seeing my baby and passing the placenta and the blood worse than the reality.

xx

Metranil_Vavin

Scarly I'm sorry too for your loss x

My mc was a natural one. I had, had 2 scans at the EPU at my hosipital as I had been bleeding. Heartbreakingly, the first 2 scans showed a heartbeat, but the 3rd time I went in as the bleeding persisted showed an empty sac and no more baby

I knew that I had passed it the night before on the toilet, but still had OH fish it out so we could take it to the hospital.

I bled for about 2 weeks after that, and that was it. I can't actually recall it being hideously painful. I'd had some LLETZ treatment for pre-cancerous cells the year before and I remember the aftermath of that being far more painful than the mc.

It was more or less like a nasty period I think.

I probably would opt for the natural method if given the choice as I am terrified of anesthetics, but then again if I thought it was going to be a very long and painful process to do it naturally, I may change my mind on that.

It's a horrible shock..I am so sorry. You need time to come to terms with it. I agree too with the poster who said if you can have some time off to look after yourself, it definitely helps. I was off for 10 days in total.

scarly

Thanks so much everyone for sharing your experiences and advice, I really appreciate it.

I've just had a call from the clinic and they can't fit me in for an ERPC until Friday, which has upset me a bit . I really don't want to go into work until the worst of this is over, but at the same time I feel like such a shirker sitting at home all week while nothing's happening. And I'm worried that even now I've made the decision, I might still end up starting to miscarry naturally anyway. I slept really badly last night because I kept waking myself up thinking I was bleeding.

Also, I feel really selfish because I had a nice evening planned for Friday - going to see the Christmas lights turned on and then dinner with some good friends - and I just know that I'm not going to want to do that if I make it to the ERPC, and I was really looking forward to it. And now I feel really stupid that THAT'S what I'm disappointed about, missing some stupid lights and a pizza.

I've booked an appt with my regular Dr this evening to discuss what's happening, get a note for work and see if they can give me anything in case I do start miscarrying naturally. I think whatever happens I really don't want to be caught out and find myself in lots of pain with no way to get anything stronger than paracetamol.

Thanks again everyone, DH is being fantastic but we're both hurting and it's so much easier putting things down to people who have already been there .

xxx

Metranil_Vavin

Scarly, don't feel bad about not wanting to go into work. It's TOTALLY understandable.

How on earth can you be expected to concentrate and do a job when you are going through this. It isn't all about the physical side of the mc either..the mental anguish is very real too (and worse in many ways)

Your boss sounds like she knows what you are going through all too well, so please talk to her and take some time off to get through this.

x

skintchick

Oh Scarly I totally identify! I found it awful waiting for my mc to begin because I was terrified of going anywhere in case it started! I couldn;t concentrate on anything either and was a mess. Once it began I felt better, in a way, because at least it had begun.

If I had known then what I know now I'd have felt a bit better - it began with cramps and it wasn;t till the next morning that my waters broke and the bleeding began.

But don;t feel bad for feeling awful right now - you need time off, you need to plan ahead and get your head round things, so just call in sick/get your GP to sign you off (and they will, no question) or just get compassionate leave (I don;t think many employers would refuse it) and do what you need to do in order to deal with this.

:A



As for me, I have found out that yet another of my friends is pregnant I am seeing her on Friday and she hasn;t told me but a mutal friend let slip today. I cried and cried. I feel like everyone else is able to have a baby, and they will all have second children the same ages, and I am missing out and might never have another child OH is away and I'm all on my own and I feel rubbish.

emsbet

((hugs)) Skintchick. It is so sad and frustrating watching others have their babies when yours are taken away from you. There's nothing I can say to take the pain away but I just wanted you to know your not alone.

xx