Miscarriage support

Nicki

That is just horrible and petulant SusanC. I am sorry that she behaved that way to you.

I had to write a letter today, on behalf of a group of us, to a colleague who had a stillborn baby a few weeks ago. I found that incredibly hard to do. I was so worried that I might say the wrong thing accidentally, and cause more pain than comfort, and I also think that this is not the kind of letter which should be sent on behalf of a group but needs to be a personal thing. But as I was the chair of that group and every other member of it wanted me to do it, despite me expressing reservations, I had to do it that way I hope I managed to do it OK but you never know how anyone will feel at times like this.

SusanC_2

Nicki wrote: »

I had to write a letter today, on behalf of a group of us, to a colleague who had a stillborn baby a few weeks ago. I found that incredibly hard to do. I was so worried that I might say the wrong thing accidentally, and cause more pain than comfort, and I also think that this is not the kind of letter which should be sent on behalf of a group but needs to be a personal thing. But as I was the chair of that group and every other member of it wanted me to do it, despite me expressing reservations, I had to do it that way I hope I managed to do it OK but you never know how anyone will feel at times like this.

I'm sure it will be appreciated. I have some lovely online friends who have occasionally made slight blunders but they have been when they are trying to be helpful and I prefer that to them saying nothing because it means I know they care and I do know they are trying to say the right thing rather than just being thoughtless.

ETA: And it is good to have acknowledgement of what has happened from others - I was very upset by the contrast between the huge number of cards we received when Alice was born versus the paltry number of acknowledgements of Isabella.

Cullumpster

well yesterday I spoke to a lady in my village who is a midwife and she was fantastic, told her all about how I was feeling and what the doctors had said to me and how clinical they were. she said that part of it had ben taken away from them and they were really angry about it as doctors do not go about speaking to the girls in the right way, she said they would tell them exactly the same thing but they 'soften the edges' for the girls. I like that. anyway told her I wasn't bleeding yet or anything and had a bit of a cry, said I didn't know why I just came home and didn't have the d&c there and then, she said ' perhaps you just wanted to hold on to your baby a little bit longer' after which I burst into tears! she told me of her experience in her family with a 37 wk still born, I said that after hearing that it makes my problem seem like nothing, she then said, but that was *****'s experience and this is yours so it is worse to you. I felt so much better after our chat she was amazing. I have this morning called the hospital for an appointment for a d&c but there are no beds free today so I have to call them tomorrow morning at 8 to see if they can get me in.

emsbet

I hope you get an appointment soon cullumpster and it all goes as well as can be expected.

xx

portsmouthali

Hope you are OK Cullumpster xxxx

Cullumpster

hi guy, well called up yesterday and was told to come up for op as a bed was free, got up there about 9.15am still here! had the op eventually at about 7 so had to stay over night to keep an eye on me, my blood pressure has got really low, 77 over 40 being the lowest so have to stay in now til BP goes up!.if I knew it was going to take as long as this I wouldn't have bothered, considering it's only a 5min op I've been in for 24hrs :eek:

Nicki

Hope the BP comes up soon and you can get home. And that they are being kind to you in hospital. Huge hugs. We are all thinking of you today.

Cullumpster

grr well still here and it looks like I'm going to be here again tonight, bloomin blood pressure! I feel fine but they won't let me go home till pressure goes up !,

skintchick

Aw Cullumpster, hope you get to go home soon.

TMI ALERT
I'm looking for some advice really. My bleeding finally stopped yesterday (was down to brown old blood anyway, not too copious, only needed one pad all day) and today when I wiped I had discharge that was very thick, a bit yellow, and stretchy, like snot basically.

Might I be ovulating? I want to be get PG immediately as that's the only way I have had a live child thus far (was PG with DD just weeks after my first mc) and it is 14 days today since my MC started.

I can;t find anything helpful online but my fertile CM is usually the standard clear stretchy stuff, but then if I still have a little old blood in there that could colour it maybe?

Anyone have any thoughts? I aam desperate to get PG asap, as even if we lose it at least we can then go and have tests as we'll be 3 in a row and obviously if we don;t lose it then that will be fabulous!

emsbet

From what I've read Skintchick you should ov about two weeks after your bleeding stops.

Hope you get discharged soon cullumpster

xx