Miscarriage support

Metranil_Vavin

SK, I thought you were allowed a couple of free goes at IVF on the NHS? It seems very unfair if it is only 1 round. There is nothing anyone can say to make the pain go away, I just hope that you have lots of good friends and familya round you to give you lots of love and support x
Skintchick - whatever you decide to do with your baby, it will be the right thing to do. I sadly passed mine in the toilet, which at the time I found so hard to deal with, but you are right. He/she had already gone and it didn't mean I loved him/her any less.

sexki11en

Thank you guys.

Skintchick - The counseling is through the fertility clinic. It's a specialist fertility/loss one and is part of our treatment.

MV - NICE guidelines state we should be entitled to 3 goes but each PCT makes up their own rules. Here in Bristol it's one go. I am going to fight their decision but not sure where it'll get us. Gotta be worth a try tho eh?

SK x

Nicki

Thinking of you tonight skintchick (and sexki11en too)

The next few days are going to be hard skintchick but there isn't any easy way to get through them. I know you are a brave person and will come out the other side though. Glad you are getting so much support from family, church and friends.

skintchick

My biggest fear is going out - I am scared of leaving the house in case I bleed heavily, but OH cannot work from home all the time, and I don't know what to do. I have had him here so he can be with DD if it all starts as I tend to have very heavy and painful miscarriages, but he cannot do that for weeks if it takes that long. I just don't know what to do.

Nicki

Have they not given you a cut off point by which time you should have the ERPC if it doesn't start of it's own accord? If you have started spotting already though, then maybe it will happen in the next few days. I think it's not uncommon for the body to start the process quite quickly after the woman finds out the bad news.

Practically, you could decide yourself a time limit, and until then only go places you feel comfortable being if something starts, eg playdates with close friends, or have family and friends help with taking Lily out while you stay close to home after your OH has to go back to work?

mishkanorman

skintchick wrote: »

My biggest fear is going out - I am scared of leaving the house in case I bleed heavily, but OH cannot work from home all the time, and I don't know what to do. I have had him here so he can be with DD if it all starts as I tend to have very heavy and painful miscarriages, but he cannot do that for weeks if it takes that long. I just don't know what to do.

oh hun do you have any friends nearby that you could make an emergency contact ? then if anything was to happen you could call on them to be with your DD till hubby gets there ?

skintchick

Nicki wrote: »

Have they not given you a cut off point by which time you should have the ERPC if it doesn't start of it's own accord? If you have started spotting already though, then maybe it will happen in the next few days. I think it's not uncommon for the body to start the process quite quickly after the woman finds out the bad news.

Practically, you could decide yourself a time limit, and until then only go places you feel comfortable being if something starts, eg playdates with close friends, or have family and friends help with taking Lily out while you stay close to home after your OH has to go back to work?

They said to go back in two weeks to see what is happening, and that if nothing then to go back in a further two weeks, by which time she would be surprised if it hadn;t happened.

Reading around on the internet (danger!) most women seem to wait six weeks :eek: from baby dying, so the doctor's four weeks would be right as baby died a bit over two weeks ago now.

My family live 100 miles away, they will come down but can;t come every day. My best friend works, my next best is disabled and has a young baby and her husband is recovering from an operation, and of my Mummy friends only one knows what has happened, no-one else knew I was pregnant.

I suppose there are some people at church who might help out but Lilia is so clingy at the moment (she sense what's going on and won;t leave me) she didn;t even want to go out with her Dad earlier and I don;t think she'd go with anyone.

I'm mostly scared that the pain will start and I know from past experience it will be too bad for me to drive or walk home once it gets going - my last two I've been almost physically sick with the pain, sobbing and rocking.

I don;t mean to sound negative - in an emergency there are people I could call, but I can't ask people to look after DD every day from now for a month until something happens just because I am scared to go out!

portsmouthali

I'm so sorry Skintchick & SK xxx nothing to add to what the other ladies have said, except to say I'm thinking of you both xxxx

skintchick

Well, today was the day. Wednesday I had brown spotting, yesterday I had red spotting when I wiped, and last night cramping began.

Thankfully it stopped overnight so I got some sleep, then today at 11am my waters broke. I went to the loo, which I now know was a mistake, because I didn;t have a bowl upstairs and so the baby did end up in the toilet.

Every other time since I have passed into a bowl, but it's obvious the baby has already gone. Bit cross with myself about that but I didn;t have a bowl, it was all running down my legs, and I didn;t want to do it in the bath so...

Bleeding has been heavy (more than the pad an hour they talk about, but that's normal pads not maternity ones and they don't hold a lot really) and I don;t know about the pain as I am taking 15mg of codeine and 500mg of paracetamol every 90 minutes. If I am late by ten mins with those then it hurts so I'm keeping dosed up!

I feel fine though. Cried at 11 when it all started properly, and have cried before, but now I just feel a bit numb.

I feel it was fitting though, to pass my baby at 11am on 11.11.11 - Remembrance Day.

My church pastor is coming on Monday evening to pray with us.

Thanks for everyone's support over the last few days, it's been really helpful.

SusanC_2

:grouphug: Skintchick, I'm sorry it didn't happen quite the way you would have wished but I'm glad that the timing seemed particularly fitting and that you have some real life support in addition to those of us online.