Miscarriage support

Metranil_Vavin

I'm sorry too for your loss skintchick.
I went for the passing everything at home option too, but more because I was bleeding quite a bit for nearly 2 weeks and by the time they scanned me, most of everything had passed through.
I think on reflection if I had the choice, I might have gone for the ERPC just to get it over and done with quickly, although I am terrified of general anesthetics.
Whatever you decide, I hope things progress quickly.
x

skintchick

Yes, I definitely just want it to get started. I'm only really seeing pink discharge with teeny tiny llittle bits of red in when I wipe at the moment, having the occasional cramp and constant low-level aching. With my last two I recall it took a day to get started, and those were smaller babies.

I have always birthed at home, whether live one or the lost ones, so I feel it is right to be at home this time too. I know what to expect, I had codeine from the last time on hand, and my GP is fabulous so I can always get more or something stronger at short notice.

OH has taken DD to her swimming lesson so she can have normality. he is working from home and taking time out to do things for her and me, his boss is being unusually understanding.

My mum is prepared to come and help if needed, my friends are rallying round and all my church leaders are praying for me. I went to the worship practice last night (I'm a worship leader) and it was really good to praise God even in the darkness, to know He is there no matter what as my sustainer.

My only fear is that I won;t feel strong enough to open the sac and see baby when I birth it, and I really really do want to see him or her and bury them with a ceremony of some kind. But I also know that if I do flush it away it is not a bad thing to do, and the my actual baby is already in heaven, I am just delivering its body, which it ended up not needing. I'm sure it will be having fun with its brothers or sisters in heaven. I'll meet them all one day, I know.

emsbet

((hugs)) Skintchick

When I had my mmc I was 13+3 when I found out and the baby had died at 11+3. I didn't go for a natural mc but went for the medical management - where they give you drugs to start the contractions.
Not sure if this is the case with everyone but with me my waters went just before I delivered Alex and so there was no need to break the sac.
I personally found that getting to see Alex's body helped me say goodbye and also allowed me to accept the fact that he was gone.
The downside for me in having had the medical management is that four and half weeks later I'm still bleeding quite a bit. I don't think this happens for everyone and I think a lot of people bleed for about two weeks but for some it can be longer. I think it may have eased up quicker if I'd had the EPRC but like MV I'm pertified of general anesthetics.

I'm glad you have lots of lovely supportive people around you and I hope it all goes as well as it can.

xx

skintchick

WHat did you do with Alex, Emsbet? Did you bury him? It really helps to hear your experience, gives me hope in a funny kind of way. I just want it to be as peaceful and lovely as it can be.

sexki11en

Skintchick, I'm so sorry to see you here honey

I know myself there's nothing I can say at the moment to make you feel better.

I am now one week since my m/c - I haven't felt able to post on here until now.

We tried 26 months for our BFP and finally achieved it through IVF. I was pregnant for 10 short days and m/c @ 5+2.

I've felt like my heart was going to break over the last week. It seems so unfair that we went through all we did to get one BFP, only to loose it.

For us, we don't have the option of trying naturally (well, we can try but it won't get us anywhere) and that was our one free go on IVF. By the time we have the money for another go, i'll have hit menopause (i'm 32)

For now, I think we have to try and come to terms with the fact that we'll never have a child of our own. We have our first councelling session at the clinic on Friday so we're hoping that will help us.

SK x

emsbet

skintchick wrote: »

WHat did you do with Alex, Emsbet? Did you bury him? It really helps to hear your experience, gives me hope in a funny kind of way. I just want it to be as peaceful and lovely as it can be.

As we had him in hospital they said that we could take his body home, or they could try a cremation with the possibility of getting some ashes but in the end we decided that it was enough for us just to have seen him and told him we loved him and said goodbye.
I think for me personally if we'd have bought his ashes or body home I would have struggled to let go. I do sometimes wish we'd bought him home but I know we did what was right for us.


DH bought me a charm bracelet with a charm each for my babies and that is my little memorial to them.

xx

emsbet

sexki11en I am so sorry for your loss.

xx

skintchick

OH SK that must be so hard. I'm really so sorry for your loss, I remember my first mc hit me very very hard, because when you don;t have a live child, then the thought of it never happening makes it all so much worse. Not that it's not terrible every time, but I do understand that feeling of never being a Mummy makes it all so much worse. WIll they really not give you more tries considering your health? It sounds so unfair.

How did you get your counselling? I think I might like to have some after this is over. Do you ask your GP?

skintchick

emsbet wrote: »

As we had him in hospital they said that we could take his body home, or they could try a cremation with the possibility of getting some ashes but in the end we decided that it was enough for us just to have seen him and told him we loved him and said goodbye.
I think for me personally if we'd have bought his ashes or body home I would have struggled to let go. I do sometimes wish we'd bought him home but I know we did what was right for us.


DH bought me a charm bracelet with a charm each for my babies and that is my little memorial to them.

xx

The hospital told me that if I had the ERPC then I wojldn;t be allowed to see the body, which is why I want to do it at home (among other reasons to do with risk). We are planning to redo our garden in a few years so I'm not sure where I could choose as a burial site. Maybein the front. I know there are places that cremate pets and give you the ashes but I don't expect they'd want to do a baby (or would be allowed by law).

emsbet

skintchick wrote: »

How did you get your counselling? I think I might like to have some after this is over. Do you ask your GP?

I asked my GP, she gave me some numbers of organisations. They weren't specialist pregnancy loss ones though so in the end I found one myself. I'm just waiting for my first appointment.

skintchick wrote: »

The hospital told me that if I had the ERPC then I wojldn;t be allowed to see the body, which is why I want to do it at home (among other reasons to do with risk). We are planning to redo our garden in a few years so I'm not sure where I could choose as a burial site. Maybein the front. I know there are places that cremate pets and give you the ashes but I don't expect they'd want to do a baby (or would be allowed by law).

We wouldn't have got to see Alex if we'd had the ERPC either which is one reason we had the medical management instead.

xx