Miscarriage support

hulagirl79

Msm- i dont want to say anything negative about what is happening as i have everything crossed for you and dont want to jinx anything. (if that makes sense) I truely hope all is well for you and that the bleeding is nothing to worry about. Your comment about your little boy brought tears to my eyes..
Look after yourself. X

MoneySavingMamma

hulagirl79 wrote: »

Msm- i dont want to say anything negative about what is happening as i have everything crossed for you and dont want to jinx anything. (if that makes sense) I truely hope all is well for you and that the bleeding is nothing to worry about. Your comment about your little boy brought tears to my eyes..
Look after yourself. X

Thanks Hula, hope you've been BD like mad & I hope to see you move over to <12weeks xx

portsmouthali

Just popped in to say I'm thinking of you MSM, let us know how you get on tomorrow xxxxx

hulagirl79

Thanks msm- well we have been but af got me early this month, feel like i want to scream right now.
Fingers crossed for you today. X

tiny_tear

MSM hope it all goes well for you, fingers crossed...

As to me, my update is I have my results appointment tomorrow at the recurrent miscarriage clinic so I am a bit on edge about that...

SusanC_2

alipops1986 wrote: »

Hello Everyone,

i've been lurking on this board for a while now, and unfortunately, I now have a reason to post albeit in sad circumstances.

My partner's family member has just experienced the loss of a baby at 5 months - so heartbreaking. We were able to see the baby, after she had been born and although I was petrified [goodness knows how the parents felt!] I must admit seeing her brought some peace, as well as sadness to us all.

My partner and I are in our mid 20s, never experienced anything like this before. I am trying my best to support him and his family as best I can; however, i really don't know how. We're going to get her a wee something ready for the funeral - does anyone have any ideas though?

I really feel for you all and I've done nothing but think of you all today and of the little baby we've lost from our family. xx

I lost my daughter in April at five months. Obviously everyone is different and reacts to things differently but practical things that may be appreciated could be things like offering to do grocery shopping or dropping a meal off so they don't have to cook. Sending a card is good - I was quite upset by the fact that very few people sent us cards and those that did sent white cards (and some even just added a comment in an Easter card which made her seem like an afterthought) whereas with my living daughter, we were sent millions of pink cards. Another thing (and again this might just be me) is that it is good to use the baby's name assuming you have been told it. For me, I feel much more like people are recognising the significance of our loss when they use our daughter's name and I find it really strange (and a little bit upsetting) that most people don't use it as usually when someone dies you do use their name. Also, if the couple have any children already, assuming they knew/know about the baby, do acknowledge that it is their loss too and show concern for them. Some people have sent us letters/cards as if it was just a loss for me/OH but my daughter (who knew about this pregnancy from very early on because I had hyperemesis gravidarum) has lost a sister - I really appreciate it when people recognise/acknowledge that it is a loss for her too.

SusanC_2

MoneySavingMamma wrote: »

Little boy asked me when we're going to have a baby again (he knew about last pg &mc, not this time)
I said soon, I promise. He said 'Get daddy to rub your tummy tonight & u can get a baby in there!'
Bless him, nearly cried at that, but daren't start as I won't stop!

:grouphug: My daughter keeps saying she hopes there is another baby in my tummy and asking me if I'm ill (because I was ill when I was pregnant).

SusanC_2

tiny_tear wrote: »

As to me, my update is I have my results appointment tomorrow at the recurrent miscarriage clinic so I am a bit on edge about that...

I hope that if they have found something that it will be something easily treatable.

charlie792

Hello. Ive never posted on this thread before just wanted to pop in and say my thoughts are with you all *hugs*

I wish I had come across this lovely support several years ago when I had a MC. I know it probably doesn't compare to what you guys are going through now but it feels such a relief to finally tell someone! I never had the support, infact hardly anyone even knew when it happened to me with the exception of my then partner (now very much ex) and a few people he told - all of whom were totally unsupportive.
Ive been with my current partner for 3 years now and even he doesn't know.

Im absolutely terrified of having children - partly because I fear Id be a terrible mother but partly because Im not even sure I can IYKWIM - again a fear no-one else knows about. Several years ago my mum showed me a letter from the hospital from when I was a baby and my blood tests had come back with abnormal results, apart from not being able to have blood transfusions and the likes it said further complications in later life would mean I may well find it difficult to have children etc and then of course when I had a MC it filled my mind with the fact that it could well be true.
Part of me feels a pang of envy every time a new friend announces they're pregnant - as another one did today.

I don't know how far along I was when mine happened I worked it out to be roughly 8-10 weeks but because of my age (17) and the fact it was unplanned no-one seemed to care, from the doctors to my then-partner and friends - all of whom pretty much told me it was 'for the best'.

It feels good to finally get that off my chest........


Love to you all xx

SusanC_2

charlie792 wrote: »

I wish I had come across this lovely support several years ago when I had a MC. I know it probably doesn't compare to what you guys are going through now but it feels such a relief to finally tell someone! I never had the support, infact hardly anyone even knew when it happened to me with the exception of my then partner (now very much ex) and a few people he told - all of whom were totally unsupportive.
Ive been with my current partner for 3 years now and even he doesn't know.

Im absolutely terrified of having children - partly because I fear Id be a terrible mother but partly because Im not even sure I can IYKWIM - again a fear no-one else knows about. Several years ago my mum showed me a letter from the hospital from when I was a baby and my blood tests had come back with abnormal results, apart from not being able to have blood transfusions and the likes it said further complications in later life would mean I may well find it difficult to have children etc and then of course when I had a MC it filled my mind with the fact that it could well be true.
Part of me feels a pang of envy every time a new friend announces they're pregnant - as another one did today.

I don't know how far along I was when mine happened I worked it out to be roughly 8-10 weeks but because of my age (17) and the fact it was unplanned no-one seemed to care, from the doctors to my then-partner and friends - all of whom pretty much told me it was 'for the best'.

That sounds very difficult - just because you hadn't planned the pregnancy doesn't mean you are going to find it any less upsetting. Having had one miscarriage isn't considered to make a significant difference to the odds of the next pregnancy being successful but given the information your mum showed you, I would suggest you see your GP who may be able to give you more information about what the stuff in the letter actually means. Since you were born, there will have been a lot of changes/advances in understanding and treatment of causes of miscarriage so even if the blood tests were a sign of some kind of problem, it doesn't automatically mean it is something which would stop you having children in the present day.