Miscarriage support

manda1205

pigpen wrote: »

Having done it several times, I disagree. The period arriving after a m/c is like yet another kick in the face glaring at you that you failed to carry your baby to term..

The only reason docs tell you to wait is because it is easier to date a pregnancy when they can go on the menstrual cycle.. there is no proven link m/c is more or less likely to happen.

On the other side, I had 2 MCs in 3mnths. After the second I got a urine infection, mouth ulcers, I ached like I had flu and felt ridiculously tired. I felt this was my body saying it had been through enough and needed a break. The kick in my face, is the fact my sister fell Pg exactly the same time as my first MC, so she will be having hers when I should have been having mine, I just have to live with it.
However whats right for one isnt always right for another.
Ive now chosen to wait to try again, and now Ive had 2 periods we are now trying again, although not both feet in this time, Im not calculating ovualting or anything, were just carrying on as we were, what will be will be.
Everyone should do whats right for them, waiting for first period or not.

MoneySavingMamma

I cheapy tested again today, still light (but clearly visable) line, no lighter or darker.
Not having high hopes, 60/40 in favour it being a new pg.

After mc, at first I didn't ever want to try again, but the emptiness got too much shortly after.
Also due to work & other factors if I'm not pg this month, I have to wait till Dec before TTC again, so worth doing now.

Going to test every few mornings just to see what the lines do, also do my best not to get excited.

I did definately have a neg over a week ago, inspected thoroughly & under lights etc. I also understand tests can be wrong.

How are you getting on Hula? Have you had a neg before the +tive test?

Don't want to give others false hope either, the worse thing during my mc was A&E telling me bleeding may not be mc, even with pains. Then next day waiting for scan, another dr/mw telling me it might be OK, it might be fine, don't give up. That false hope was worse, as I was accepting the inevitable in my mind. If I had been wrong, then the scan would have brought me a amazing surprise, but it didn't & they as medical professionals gave me a hope I didn't want!

Ginger_Poodle

MoneySavingMamma wrote: »

I cheapy tested again today, still light (but clearly visable) line, no lighter or darker.
Not having high hopes, 60/40 in favour it being a new pg.

After mc, at first I didn't ever want to try again, but the emptiness got too much shortly after.
Also due to work & other factors if I'm not pg this month, I have to wait till Dec before TTC again, so worth doing now.

Going to test every few mornings just to see what the lines do, also do my best not to get excited.

I did definately have a neg over a week ago, inspected thoroughly & under lights etc. I also understand tests can be wrong.

How are you getting on Hula? Have you had a neg before the +tive test?

Don't want to give others false hope either, the worse thing during my mc was A&E telling me bleeding may not be mc, even with pains. Then next day waiting for scan, another dr/mw telling me it might be OK, it might be fine, don't give up. That false hope was worse, as I was accepting the inevitable in my mind. If I had been wrong, then the scan would have brought me a amazing surprise, but it didn't & they as medical professionals gave me a hope I didn't want!

With you on the false hope thing, MMM (on your previous experience). Similar situation (go away & wait, we will scan you again in a week, etc.), when in my heart I knew that I had miscarried. My sister has a charming expression for it..."You can cope with disappointment, it is hope that will kill you" or something along those lines.

Everything crossable is crossed for you x

hulagirl79

Msm- i had a couple one said pregnant one said negative but they were bith different. I am def not pregnant as am ovulating today (positive opk and slight pain on right side) so we will be bd tonight. I am sure it will be good news msm keeping everything crossed, although might have to un cross certain parts later. Lol. Hope everyone is ok. X

portsmouthali

MoneySavingMamma wrote: »

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Don't want to give others false hope either, the worse thing during my mc was A&E telling me bleeding may not be mc, even with pains. Then next day waiting for scan, another dr/mw telling me it might be OK, it might be fine, don't give up. That false hope was worse, as I was accepting the inevitable in my mind. If I had been wrong, then the scan would have brought me a amazing surprise, but it didn't & they as medical professionals gave me a hope I didn't want!

Absolutely agree! With my first mc I was told the same. All the other times I didn't believe a word of it, and as soon as I saw spotting, even only a bit, I knew it was game over. Bleeding is ALWAYS bad news for me.

dizziblonde

pigpen wrote: »

Having done it several times, I disagree. The period arriving after a m/c is like yet another kick in the face glaring at you that you failed to carry your baby to term..

The only reason docs tell you to wait is because it is easier to date a pregnancy when they can go on the menstrual cycle.. there is no proven link m/c is more or less likely to happen.

I got pregnant almost immediately after my first mc... went into it armed with a thermometer, a copy of TCOYF and the attitude that it was WAR. Second MC was the one that really mucked my body up - it's still not recovered now and those babies would have been due Good Friday.

I NEEDED the focus of trying again the first time... second time - I needed psychiatric help if I'm honest and the NHS failed me collossally on that front (I came incredibly close to sucide, almost totally lost my sanity, incapable of leaving the house for fear of seeing a baby and how I'd react... GP was worse than useless).

MoneySavingMamma

Just an update, did another cheapy this morning, still a pale line. No AF yet. Don't know whats going on, thought I'd have a darker line by now.
No symptoms really, last time lots of symptoms, now just always on the toilet for either no1 or no2!!
Because of the speculation on here, I've ordered another pack of clear blue, will test next week and see if it's moved to 2-3wks or 3+.
Not going to go to Dr, thought about blood tests, but can't be bothered. If I pay the 'situation' attention, I'll get excited/hopeful.

It's also sad to see how many pg immediately after mc have lead to another mc. Not great to think about

pigpen

MSM.. that only happened with 2 of mine.. BUT I am about 50/50 on children to m/c anyway so not too surprising. (9 children:7 m/c).. and one of them had Downs syndrome so in a way I was quite glad.. I wouldn't have had DD1 if I hadn't m'c'd and I wouldn't have kept a Downs baby either.

SusanC_2

MoneySavingMamma wrote: »

It's also sad to see how many pg immediately after mc have lead to another mc. Not great to think about

It doesn't mean it's because of not waiting though. I know it doesn't make it any easier but because they are fairly common, it's likely that just by chance without there being any underlying reason, some people are going to just happen to MC when getting pregnant straight afterwards,

MoneySavingMamma

Thanks, I'm taking things slowly. Not even bothering with 'knicker-twitching' as PigPen calls it!
I'll try to leave it a few weeks before Dr, see if AF appears.
I have just got all my tests from round the house, 7 in total with TLP/VFPs.

Watching the wedding tomorrow, reckon a big sign would be if I cry, I go from no emotion at TV stuff (except anger!) to blubber guts when pg (except THAT episode of Eastenders!)