Miscarriage support

MoneySavingMamma

I know Hula. I'm sorry for you and sorry for me and sorry for the others.
I just want to go on a drinking bender and never come back to the real world!! A girl at work said she was depressed today, boy troubles & wanted to cry. They know what I've just been through. I just said 'oh I know how u feel' and walked off. I have held myself together at work & that wound me up

Got my maternity exemption today, says I can't use it. Why the hell not? If I get more sleepers - it's pregnancy related, if I need anti-d's (Dr app next week) it's due to pregnancy. Tempted to use it, I fancy an arguement with anyone & benefit investigators (or whoever they are) would be an easy target.

Did anyone watch Eastenders tonight? I wonder if me & OH are Kat & Alfie, are we having (or going to try again)because there is nothing left between us? Or is his inability to deal with grief making me angry at him unfairly??

portsmouthali

Evening all, wow what a long day. Got home just after 8pm.

I was treated very well at the hospital and the staff, although incredibly busy, were very kind. Had a long wait for my surgery - got there at midday but did not go down to theatre until 4.30pm as there were a couple of emergencies that came in. One of them was a lady with an ectopic pregnancy, she'd literally only just found out and was sobbing her heart out

It all went as well as can be expected, and physically I feel better than I thought I would - just a bit bruised down below

OH has been wonderful all day despite lots of hanging around. This time round he seems much more upset by it all - I think seeing the baby lying so still on the scan monitor broke his heart not that he'll admit it, you know what blokes are like!

Sorry to hear your story Lisa, what a horrible thing to happen I think we're all justified in feeling sorry for ourselves. I know people mean well, but when they say "You can try again" it's quite annoying. As is "It wasn't meant to be" and "At least you know you CAN get pregnant" Yeah, thanks for that!!

tiny_tear

hello all, feeling better this morning but last night was really down.

had to go back to my old flat that I am renting out and find out the tenant is pregnant. i think it being someone living in *my* old flat just felt like an extra slap on the face.

it's hard on everyone as well. my husband wass saing how some bloke in his work was telling everone they had the scan and it's a girl and how someone in the desks behind were going on about babies and children as well and he couldn't say anything.
i am sorry for him as he didn't tell anyone at work but at least a few people know in mine - my boss always knew and he has been lovely and i have been telling some others as and when they need to know (i.e. if they are being very insensitive) so if the conversation gets too much, i can just run to cry in the toilets and they know to leave me be...

Ali, i feel for you as well. at least mine were so early i never really saw more than an empty sac in the monitors. it must be even more heartbreaking.

wishing you all a good weekend

hulagirl79

Morning everyone.
Msm, ali and tiny tear. Thank you for all your words and support. Ali - i hope you are feeling ok today and can chill out this weekend.
Msm- i know how you feel all i feel like doing is drinking till i cant think anymore but i know that it is probably not the best idea. I also find it annoying when i hear people moaning about how bad their life is etc, i do feel like saying to them oh for gods sake it could be worse but of course its all relative and there is no point getting annoyed at everyone.
I am feeling a lot better today, woke up and just felt fine. Bloody hormones.
I hope everyone has a good,relaxing weekend.
X

miss_pixie_2

hey ladies, just been reading some of the posts and just thought id pop in and say hello. I had my mc 7 weeks ago when i was 10 weeks. Thought i was coping til 1st AF since mc came along on weds. Just hit me, i was like i shouldnt be having a period i should be 16 weeks pregnant

i had an awful time in the hospital and i have asked my dr for counselling as having nightmares, ull understand why in a mo after i tell you what happened. Sorry if its a long one, bear with me

Started bleeding on the tues night at 11pm with pain and went a&e, was discharged with a scan date for 2days later, told to come back if pain got worse, it did, so at 5am weds morning i went back. I was seen by the nurse who looked after me on the tues night and she said are you imagining the pains getting worse because you want an earlier scan! fuming is not the word! i said no ive come back because i was told to if it got worse, she then proceeded to say oh we will give u painkillers and doc will just send u home again..i said thats fine!

I was then left alone in a minors dept as it was shut at 5am in mornin & a&e didnt have any beds. I felt sick and was wondering round asking for help, had 2 ask a&e receptionist for a sick bowl.
Went the toilet and passed something (later told it was muscus plug - sorry if TMI) and was wondering round with this thing in toilet tissue thinking it was my baby sobbing and some random nurse said oh thats nothing get back in ur cubicle
Was left alone for 5hrs odd with this thing distressed thinking it was my baby

Dr came and did an internal exmaination...in an a&e cubicle....with a garden torch...yep u heard right a torch! i was terrified someone would pull curtains by mistake. He took my baby away and said uve had a miscarriage, i think u have anyway....

left for obs for over 6hrs, starved for 16 and no water...drip was put in my arm that caused blood vessels 2 burst and arm to swell up, nurse was snotty about taking it out, i begged as it hurt so much

Sent home at midnight, told 2 take painkillers and go for a scan on the friday. Went for a scan they then told me to lose weight before i try for another....Small mercy, it appears by time doctor had seen me on the weds, the miscarriage was pretty much completed

All in all a horrible experience. Have asked doctor for counselling as im barely holding it together and shes not sure i need it just yet, its only been 7 weeks and im thinking is there a limit on when ur meant to feel depressed after a loss???

Found out a friend is pregnant and due 3 weeks after i would have been, i feel so sad, every time i see her child im gona think what would mine been like at this age etc.

I never got to have a scan eiether so i never saw my baby before i lost it. i lost the baby 12 days before my scan
Anyways rant over, thanks for listening

hulagirl79

Miss pixie- i am so so sorry for what you have been through, i got upset reading about it lt alone going through it. Can you see another gp at doctors to get another opionion, as you are right there is no limit on when you should feel better. Only you know how you feel and that should be the most important thing. As for the a and e well it might not make any difference now but i would complain ( to everybody, managers to the top) the nurses and doctors should never have treated you like that. I know nothing can make the pain and loss any better but talking it through even on here has helped me, it has given me somewhere to get rid of my frustration. How has your o/h been? As for your friend, i am sure she will understand how you are feeling ( i have 6 friends all pregnant at the moment, 3 around when i would have been) i have no idea how i will cope with it but i will cross that bridge when i get there. The main thing is you look after yourself, take as long as you need and if you are having a !!!! day come on here and rant,shout moan whatever you need, someone is always here.
Sending you hugs. Xx

pebblespop

hulagirl79 wrote: »

Miss pixie- i am so so sorry for what you have been through, i got upset reading about it lt alone going through it. Can you see another gp at doctors to get another opionion, as you are right there is no limit on when you should feel better. Only you know how you feel and that should be the most important thing. As for the a and e well it might not make any difference now but i would complain ( to everybody, managers to the top) the nurses and doctors should never have treated you like that. I know nothing can make the pain and loss any better but talking it through even on here has helped me, it has given me somewhere to get rid of my frustration. How has your o/h been? As for your friend, i am sure she will understand how you are feeling ( i have 6 friends all pregnant at the moment, 3 around when i would have been) i have no idea how i will cope with it but i will cross that bridge when i get there. The main thing is you look after yourself, take as long as you need and if you are having a !!!! day come on here and rant,shout moan whatever you need, someone is always here.
Sending you hugs. Xx

i know how you feel about other people being pregnant. my brothers girlfriend and dh's step sister are both due in the same week i would have been. i thought that would be an impossible situation but i can talk to them about their babies a little bit now and will try my best when they are born. will probably keep my distance a bit but what else can be expected. at least i feel i can deal with it now. at first i couldn't even see them.

it's easier to avoid friends, with family it;s a bl00dy nightmare.

i am just praying that my current pregnancy works out as i can't face losing another while these two girls have their babies. especially as my mum and mil will be going crazy about the babies aaarrrggghhh!!!!

portsmouthali

So sorry Miss Pixie, as if this isn't awful & terrifying enough without being treated like that. I've generally been treated very by the NHS through all of my losses (other than one sonographer who was very abrupt when she told me all there was in my womb was an empty sac - heartless cow!) but I've heard enough from other people to know that there are plenty who should go nowhere near the "caring" profession.

I think it's very brave of you to ask your GP for counselling, surely anything that helps you through this is worth a go?

When I go back to work, there are 2 people in my team of 11 who are pregnant, and I know at first I'm going to find it hard to listen to all the talk of scans, baby clothes, buggies, due dates etc. I should be joining in with all that. But I've been here before and I know it does get better with time. I also have a close friend who is pregnant with her 3rd child, in fact she's had all her children in the time that I've been trying for this one

Have had a very relaxing weekend, OH is not letting me lift a finger. He's done all the cooking, cleaning, as well as keeping our son occupied. Bless him.

I'm feeling very low today, even though it's a nice day and I have much to be grateful for I just feel angry that this has happened to us yet again and I'm finding hard to see past that at the moment :mad:

I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow xxxx Sorry to rant x

hulagirl79

Ali- rant away that is what this board is for. your o/h sounds like a great bloke, its prob also his way of feeling useful. My other half said that he feels useless. You sound like a very strong woman and being angry is natural ( not that you need me to tell you that) xx
I have had quite a lot of pain yesterday and today (cramping sharp stabbing pain but no bleeding) in fact it has been more painfull than after the surgery. I know the nurses said there will be pain for 3-5 days. Does anyone know if this is normal.

pigpen

Hula.. it sounds like it might be things moving back to their proper places.. if it continues or gets worse do get it looked at though.. we don't want you with a nasty infection on top of this.