Miscarriage support

pigpen

I could never understand why I was always asked if I was in any pain when bleeding.. I never was... it was most unusual apparently.. I just like to be different!

elliebobs

Ali; I remember you from when you first set up this thread and I contributed. So sorry to see you here again; was stalking the under 12 weeks thread and hoping with every ounce of my being that the outcome would be different for you this time.

I remember that my OH was fab after my first M/C but he was a bit detached from it all as Pigpen said; all they see is the 2 lines and that's it until the baby is actually born. Anything inbetween is inconsequential really.

I've now had two M/C and my age is also against me; I have to confess that my desire for a child has lessened considerably as I'm not prepared to risk another M/C; I've had quite enough of the medical profession probing me! l Neither of us have children but I have reconciled myself to the fact that that state of play won't, in all probability change. Somedays I'm ok with that and somedays I'm not but that's my personal cross to bear.

Again, agreeing with Pigpen; the first, for me, was the worst; devastated doesn't even cover it and even now 18 months later I still look at babies in the street and think to myself that mine would have been that age and would be starting to sit up etc. I do wonder if that will ever pass.

Love to all those in need of it and many thanks to Ali for actually setting up this thread.

portsmouthali

PP & ellie you are both right, the first is the worst - such a shock, both physically & mentally. I remember being told "you will have some pain and pass some large clots" That was the biggest understatement ever! I was only 7 weeks but bled & cramped so much, and what came out was so much more than a clot. That's why I want erpc this time as I'm further along, and I know what's coming if I have to do it "naturally" (hate that expression - it's far from natural in my opinion!)

Of course, with subsequent losses I have still shed many tears, but I also agree that there is a sense of detachment with pregnancies after a miscarriage. I suppose it's a kind of self-defence mechanism.

Men don't tend to deal with this kind of thing very well at all - I know my OH is upset but he finds it very hard to show it, which is very frustrating as it seems like he doesn't care.

Ellie & Merfe it's lovely to hear from you both xx Ellie I change my mind all the time too and it's a horrible battle to have. This endless cycle of being pregnant & stressed and then not pregnant & sad is not how I want to spend the next few years! I will have the tests and then maybe one more throw of the dice, then thats my lot.

Thanks to all of you, it's nice to know you're all here

tiny_tear

the first was terrible, the third, i was more annoyed i had to delay a holiday by one day and make up an excuse to the mother in law (i didn't tell about the miscarriages)

with the third I was just eager to get it over and done with to get my referral to the recurrent miscarriage clinic...

now i am just in this weird limbo of not being able to try and i have more blood tests in April and the results appointment only on the 10th May...

chucknorris69

So sorry to hear your news portsmouthali, my thoughts are with you and everyone else who has recently posted. Its so devestating.

portsmouthali

Hello all, been to the EPAU this morning and am booked in to have erpc tomorrow afternoon. I saw the same nurse as I've seen each time, she was very nice and completely agreed the erpc was the best thing this time. She is also going to write to my GP with a recommendation that I be referred to a consultant for testing to try to find out why it keeps happening. Even if they don't find anything out, it means I'll be under that consultant next time I get pregnant and will get early scans etc, so I feel quite positive today on the whole.

I've had so many lovely messages from work and people on here and it really has helped. Onwards & upwards!!:A:A:A

hulagirl79

Hi ali. Glad they are being quick for you and refering you. I hope it goes as well as it can. Will be thinking of you. X

gratefulforhelp_2

portsmouthali wrote: »

Well I am back here again from the less than 12 weeks thread Went for 12 week scan today to find no heartbeat. Baby died at 9 weeks. It was so sad to see it lying there so still on the screen

Got to go to EPAU tomorrow morning to see if I need erpc. Can't face doing this one naturally, so am hoping they agree to it.

We're going to ask for tests as I've now had 3, but I'm a but worried as time is not on my side. I know we may not find out why but it's worth a try I think.

I'm so sorry, and so sad for you. xxx

pigpen

Glad they are doing something to make it easier for you Ali.. hopefully next time they will have answers and can help

portsmouthali

I've been having bleeding/contractions for the last 2 hours so don't think I'm going to need erpc after all. Phoned the nurse who I saw this morning and she said I can go to emergency gynae if I need to, and if I pass everything at home overnight I'm to phone her in the morning and she'll cancel the erpc.

This is bloody rubbish! :mad: and it hurts