Miscarriage support

GPark

I haven't posted on this thread before but just wanted to say to moneysavingmamma how sorry I am for your loss, having been in your situation 3 times I know how you must be feeling right now. Be kind to yourself in the days ahead, allow yourself time to grieve and recover, both physically and mentally.

Also, I know you want answers but please be prepared for the fact that you may not get them for a little while - after I had my 3rd miscarriage I had an ERPC because of the risk of infection (baby's heartbeat stopped at 8 weeks, didn't find out till 12 weeks). I was given the forms by the consultant to have tests done but was told I had to wait a minimum of 12 weeks to allow my hormones levels to normalise otherwise the results would be unreliable.

Family and friends asked me if I was going to try again, and were quite firmly told by me that I would try again when I felt ready and I didn't want to discuss it further so please don't ask about it. I found this worked best because after my first miscarriage every one kept asking if we were trying and was there any news yet, and I found that hard to deal with.

I was incredibly lucky though, I was automatically referred to gynae after my ERPC, and despite feeling like I didn't want to try again, I was persuaded to by my consultant who told me there was medication available to help prevent miscarriage. So we decided to try one last time and I am so glad we did, after 8 months of daily injections DS2 was born in October.

I'm very thankful for my little miracle, but even now I still cry for my lost beans, especially on their due dates, I don't think that will ever change.

portsmouthali

Thanks for posting again MSM. I know it's an old cliche, but when I had my first mc my mother-in-law (who miscarried her first pregnancy) said to me "You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel in a week, then a fortnight, and then a month later" and it was completely true. You never forget (and how lovely to have a picture - all I have is some positive pregnancy tests ) but time really does heal xx

Thanks also for posting GPark, it's so reassuring to hear of a happy ending xxxxx

hulagirl79

Hi ladies.
I am coming over from the less than 12 week thread.
We had our dating scan monday and found out baby had died at ten weeks, it was a complete shock as no bleeding or pain. Got sent straight to epu, sitting around for 4 and half hours with everyone else ( only had to see doctor to sign consent form for epcu) see doctor in and out in 5 minutes. Had my epcu today, it went well no complications and was back home by 12.30pm. Only to get a call this pm from the midwife at doctors to rearrange my booking appiontment that i missed on monday ( i spoke to midwife at hospital who reassured me they would contact my midwife but didnt) so had to explain everything to her, wbo then said she was sorry.
We did get a scan picture but i cant bare to look at it. Other half has been good but keeps crying more than me and am finding it hard to handle keeping him calm. So he is going back to work tomorrow ( he is self employef). I have been signed off work for a week ( only been in current job for 7 weeks) i am a nanny and not sure i can face going back. I gave up my lease on my flat as was going to move in with other half but now i dont know what to do, we have only bern together for 1year and the pregnancy was un planned.
I have so many decisons to make in the next 2 weeks now and dont know where to start.
Sorry if i am rambling, i cant sleep.
Hope everyone else is well x

gratefulforhelp_2

hulagirl so sorry for your loss. They did exactly that with the m/w appointment with me and I hit the roof, as I had been promised it would be cancelled. xxx

tiny_tear

the first time i called the hospital myself and cancelled all the appointments (don't know where i had the strength)

the second time they took care of it for me.


the worst was also having signed up for some alerts for vouchers for pampers or something like that, got an email and then on their site couldn't find out where to unsubscribe... at least when i emailed them they were quite good at cancelling everything

hulagirl79

Tinytears- i had to do all that this am had 6 different emails to cancel, am just glad it was all straight forward.
xx

RedwoodBrook

tiny_tear wrote: »

the worst was also having signed up for some alerts for vouchers for pampers or something like that, got an email and then on their site couldn't find out where to unsubscribe... at least when i emailed them they were quite good at cancelling everything

Throughout my pregnancy I had signed up to every club going. I still gets things via email and through the post telling me how old my son should be at the moment and what stage he should be at.

I got a free sample of baby food for weaning yesterday.

Seemed like a good idea at the time. Oh how I was wrong.

tiny_tear

RedwoodBrook wrote: »

Throughout my pregnancy I had signed up to every club going. I still gets things via email and through the post telling me how old my son should be at the moment and what stage he should be at.

I got a free sample of baby food for weaning yesterday.

Seemed like a good idea at the time. Oh how I was wrong.

Hello
I just found the relevant email in my inbox
They suggested me to join this:

"You may also be interested to know that you can contact the Baby Mail Preference Service online to be removed from other baby related databases: https://www.mpsonline.org.uk/bmpsr/ "

I didn't do it as I hadn't joined many lists, but maybe it would be good for you to join it?

Maybe this link will be handy for other people here as well

cleomolly

Thanks for sharing that tiny tear, I too signed up to numerous emailing lists thinking it was a great idea! Now finding the constant reminders of how far gone I should be each week fairly upsetting, just when I think I've un0subscribed to them all another email pops up, worst still something in the post!

I'm so sorry to hear of the situation you find yourself in hulagirl. I think something like this will do one of 2 things, push you closer together or sadly can tear people a part. I hope things become a little clearer for you over the next few days. It is true, no matter how much you don't want to hear it, that things do get easier as time goes on, we will all never forget our babies but the constant pain and anger does subside. I'm finding 4 weeks on from loosing my boy at 16 weeks the pain has eased and I can look at his scan pictures and tiny hand and foot print and smile at the thought of my baby but I do still think about my pregnancy all the time and have good and bad moments throughout each day. All you can do is look after yourself, be kind and take all the time you need to recover both physically and mentally. hugs for you

Lauralou

hulagirl am sorry to hear what you are going through. Just take one step at a time, give yourself time to grieve and then think about what your are going to do next. How much longer do you have left on your lease? Whats the positive/negative about moving in with OH. Me and OH had only been together a year when we started TTC. Take care x


I signed up to baby websites but in a way i was lucky we moved house so i didnt receive anything in the post but i would use the link that tiny_tear posted.

Cleo im glad to read you are getting better x