Do I have right to take my daughter on holiday?

staceysteve

angelsmomma wrote: »

I am very reasonable with my ex but the bottom line is that my son lives with me and if I say its not convenient because of family committments then it is not.

The court fully supports this position, my sons ordinary daily life (appointments, social activities) are not to be disrupted to fit in with his father. This is not c*ap this is my sons life, its what he is comfortable with.

I do allow him to go on holiday with his dad but the court left it up to me to decided when I felt he was ready for it. I asked him if he wanted to go on holiday with his dad at 6 and he said no, at 7 he said yes so now he does.

The children act says in the best interest of the child. It is not about your rights

Lol I find it unbelieveable that mothers someone how know what's in a child's best interests more than the father or even the child!!

Do you not relise the child has family commitments with his father and his father's family?? They do not/ should not come before your own your child is now part of a divided family and therefore needs equal opportunity to adjust with BOTH parents!

angelsmomma

ses6jwg wrote: »

Errrr.... I'm not your ex (I don't think anyway..... :eek:)

I am trying to point out the courts do not have to take your interests into account. They take the childs interest. The child lives with mum so mum gets to decide

staceysteve

So because the child lives with mother she automatically knows what is in her best interestds??
Lol this is just why the whole residency thing is such a joke... you read these forums you see how volatile, dramatic, coniving, jealous, cruel and abusive some mothers can be to their ex's over contact with the children so how the hell is that sort of woman capable of knowing what is in her child's best interests!

angelsmomma

staceysteve wrote: »

Lol I find it unbelieveable that mothers someone how know what's in a child's best interests more than the father or even the child!!

Do you not relise the child has family commitments with his father and his father's family?? They do not/ should not come before your own your child is now part of a divided family and therefore needs equal opportunity to adjust with BOTH parents![/QUOTE

It is not about the childs comittments to either family.

It is about the child being happy and comfortable in the situation that is after all not his fault. I used my son as an example in this since we do have a court order and the op asked about holidays.

A child has routines and friends at school. They go to parties and social events with school friends. They don't want to miss out on these events as this is their world and life.

I do know whats in my sons best interest as I have had him since the day he was born. I know how he thinks and feels about things.

staceysteve

So you are saying that a routine and 'normal life' is more important for a child than experiencing a different country? Going on a holiday to create amazing memories that children keep forever is ridiculous?
My stepson is desperate to go on holiday with us and can't wait until we do, but even he was scared/ and remains scared that his volatile mother may ignore his wishes in favour of her own view of what is best for him...i.e making him and my fiance miserable!

angelsmomma

staceysteve wrote: »

So because the child lives with mother she automatically knows what is in her best interestds??
Lol this is just why the whole residency thing is such a joke... you read these forums you see how volatile, dramatic, coniving, jealous, cruel and abusive some mothers can be to their ex's over contact with the children so how the hell is that sort of woman capable of knowing what is in her child's best interests!

I can see from your posts why you would think like that.

angelsmomma

staceysteve wrote: »

So you are saying that a routine and 'normal life' is more important for a child than experiencing a different country? Going on a holiday to create amazing memories that children keep forever is ridiculous?
My stepson is desperate to go on holiday with us and can't wait until we do, but even he was scared/ and remains scared that his volatile mother may ignore his wishes in favour of her own view of what is best for him...i.e making him and my fiance miserable!

In the case of the op I think it is too soon to be taking his daughter away, yes. He is very angry at the moment and this little girl has just had her world turned upside down. Her parents are fighting and from some of the ops own statements about how he feels, in my opinion, it would be better to let things settle first.

The point I am trying to make (badly it seems) is that the courts agree that things have to be taken slowly so that the child adjusts to the new situation.

I am sorry that in your case the mother is stopping him going on holiday with you despite him wanting to. If you read my post, I do let him go on holiday with his dad because he said he wanted to. However as I said he did not want to in the begining so I listened to what he wanted and the courts agreed that it was better to wait for him to be comfortable with the idea.

I would like to add that my son goes on holiday abroad with me and has amazing memories. His dad chooses to take him to Wales. He goes abroad at a different time with his wife, so not the same situation as you at all.

mum2one

pinkpig08 wrote: »

If you went through the CSA then I think she would only be able to keep the first £20 of any maintenance paid, the rest would go to the government to offset her benefits. So at the moment you (and your daughter) are better off with the arrangement you already have.

Even with that arrangement the DHSS can assume that the £50/£100 pm is for the daughter, and she could lose that.

You need to document everything, create as many paper trails as you can, and bite your tounge, even thou it may be hard, you have to put ur daughter 1st

robpw2

i think you and your ex need to stop using your daughter as a pawn and if you cannot agree something amicably then you need to seek legal advice neither of you have "parental rights"
as legally it's the child who has the rights and parents the responsibility of making sure those rights are met.

however i do think that you should think very carefully about the responsibility that comes with taking a two year old on holiday . Firstly if your in france you would not have anyone close to rely on if something was to go wrong and as it seems your going alone no-one to look after your daughter if your tired etc it wont for you seem to be much of a holiday as looking after a two year old is not easy.
maybe you should try a week in this country before jetting off abroad

i would say that you need to sort out somewhere for her to stay at yours and start proving to your ex that your responsible enough to look after your daughter .

ses6jwg

robpw2 wrote: »

i think you and your ex need to stop using your daughter as a pawn and if you cannot agree something amicably then you need to seek legal advice neither of you have "parental rights"
as legally it's the child who has the rights and parents the responsibility of making sure those rights are met.

however i do think that you should think very carefully about the responsibility that comes with taking a two year old on holiday . Firstly if your in france you would not have anyone close to rely on if something was to go wrong and as it seems your going alone no-one to look after your daughter if your tired etc it wont for you seem to be much of a holiday as looking after a two year old is not easy.
maybe you should try a week in this country before jetting off abroad

i would say that you need to sort out somewhere for her to stay at yours and start proving to your ex that your responsible enough to look after your daughter .

Booked to go with my mother, sister and her boyfriend.

We have family out there (aunties and uncles)

Have already taken her on holiday here twice.