Wedding list: They have asked for money

hayley11

Personally I don't think asking for money is rude, in this day and age, a lot of couples live together before getting married therefore already have kettles, toasters etc and if they do need these things, i'd be very grateful for a gift list. I would hate to buy somebody something they didn't need and it go to waste, that's not very money saving.

The wording however was terrible, there are plenty of cute poems knocking around to use instead of putting it so rudely.

And the wording with regards to the children :eek: I wonder if they were trying to be funny and failed miserably? Are they quite stuck up people anyway?

If I had kids, I wouldn't go out of principle!

Loopy_Girl

Idiophreak wrote: »

Speaking to my nan on the issue, it's clear that as far as she's concerned, the point of the wedding day went out of the window as soon as pre-marital sex became socially acceptable

Bless her!!!!:D

tiamai_d

How many people actually take their own children to a friends wedding anyway? The reception has always been a deffinate no, like an unwritten rule. Only children that are usually at weddings are the children in the family.

I read it as being very rude, the way it's worded 'your choice to go off and have lots of children', one ok then? Are they maybe feeling a little left out that friends went away and had children and left them behind? 'We don't want them at our wedding', them? them what? them lemmings? them plums?

I wonder how many people are a bit put put by that...

As for the way you pay towards the honeymoon, erm no. Anonymous donations, yes, name, amount and message, no.

*Louise*

elastigirl wrote: »

''Over the last few years it was your choice and decision to go off and have lots of children but it wasn't ours however it is our choice and decision not to have them at our wedding, so leave them with the grandparents.

.

Wow - I have heard people agonising about how to word 'no children please' as politely as they can, so as not to offend, but that couple just couldn't be bothered, could they???:eek:

That would offend me..if it was family member I would tell them that straight, if a friend I wouldn't be going...in fact I would be tempted to say "sorry can't go, the 'grandparents' are busy and can't babysit".

Nothing wrong with requesting money, as long as it's done politely. For our wedding we didn't bother with a request, our mothers just let people know that money would be appreciated if they were asked.

Fly_Baby

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Why is it rude? People spend a fortune on a wedding and they don't want a screaming baby ruining the ceremony or a rake of kids running about at the reception....I totally get it - and I'm a parent!!!!

The money thing...I guess it's just a sign of the times...if you have been living together do you really need a bale of towels or a new toaster? They are being honest...we don't have a wedding list as we have our home decked out but we wouldn't mind a hand with the honeymoon costs. There's plenty weddings where people give vouchers for gifts as the couple already co-habit...this is just a more 'advanced' side of it

Well, I am a parent too and I totally accept that some people might not want to deal with a screaming baby at their ceremony.

However, if they want to keep the little ones separate from the reception for grown-ups, considerate newly-weds might arrange for an entertainer for children and a separate room with the children's buffet table.

The wish to have a child-free wedding is understandable - but it could be done in a much nicer way. And if they want to invite friends who do have children then they should try and accommodate everyone's wishes so that all are happy - or not invite these friends at all.

cakey

Barny1979 wrote: »

You've attended 3 weddings already in 2010?!!

balls i meant last year, actually last year was 4 weddings and a funeral... no joke!

glossgal

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

So would you rather go to the trouble of buying a gift that lies dusty?

I don't see the difference in asking for cash as asking for vouchers..who wants £300 of Argos vouchers that a) you will never use as the house is all done and b) you are going on honeymoon

This is the 21st century...women don't have a 'bottom drawer' and gift lists are becoming more and more un-needed and they have lived together anyway...

Personally a cash gift is less stress...pay what you want and job done.

Like when you go to a funeral and a request is made for a donantion to a specific charity instead of flowers - is there offence in that? Of course not

There's ways of asking for cash though-if someone said 'we don't want anything but if you must then cash would be great thanks' I wouldn't have beef with it but the way some couples are really brash about it just totally lacks class. Then you have people like the ones in the OP who are off the scale of being cheeky-debit card details?? There is no way on earth I would consent to that and i truly wouldn't give a penny to anyone who was as rude as this pair sound!

SugarSpun

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

And from a personal point of view I don't think children should be around adults when alcohol is being consumed...and then there's the risk of mucky hands on a nice white dress...the cake getting knocked over:eek: the list is endless!!!!

The staff at my wedding knocked over our cake - I'm still angry about it now.

I totally support their sentiment - we didn't want kids at our wedding, and we didn't need any stuff. But we simply didn't invite the children, and gently spread the word that since the wedding was at a National Trust property it would be better for the kids to stay at home and they could join us for brunch the next day with their parents instead. Same with gifts - we had a small list of things we did need, but the absence of a list generally communicates to people that cash is a better option. It's just badly phrased, IMO, and I'd send my regrets in a nice card. Or I'd go and give them a charity gift - perhaps a his-and-her goat or 100 condoms to an African nation to perpetuate the childlessness.

becs

We only had my nephews at our wedding mainly because we were only having 50 guests in total and didn't want children to take up spaces of immediate family and close friends.
We haven't got children but I think if we'd received an invitation like that we wouldn't go on principle. I've never seen something as rude!
I love the idea of the donation to nspcc instead of their honeymoon! priceless!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

elastigirl

Idiophreak wrote: »

OP, is that *actually* the exact wording on the card, or have you paraphrased a little?

Perhaps if you wrote the whole thing out for us it would put it in context?

/QUOTE]

yes i wrote it excatly how it was written word for word. Like i said i think they were trying to be amusing. It was on a seperate slip off paper in the invite along with other details like directions to the venue etc