Wedding list: They have asked for money

Loopy_Girl

cathy2702 wrote: »

That episode was on just last week on comedy gold - love it!! :j

When I read the OP, my immediate thought was of Samantha getting the pasta over her white suit. As a mum to two kids, I have to admit I fully agreed with Samantha and Miranda in the show, and actually support the bride to be who sent this invite.

Arrgghh!!! Totally!!! And then they were having the posh cake and Miranda says "Mommy needs 2 hands to eat her $7 cake"!!!!!


I fully agree on both points as well (SATC and the bride;))

Loopy_Girl

glossgal wrote: »

As for the cash, I don't like this trend at all and for recent weddings my policy is the ruder the request the less you're getting..who do these people think they are???

So would you rather go to the trouble of buying a gift that lies dusty?

I don't see the difference in asking for cash as asking for vouchers..who wants £300 of Argos vouchers that a) you will never use as the house is all done and b) you are going on honeymoon

This is the 21st century...women don't have a 'bottom drawer' and gift lists are becoming more and more un-needed and they have lived together anyway...

Personally a cash gift is less stress...pay what you want and job done.

Like when you go to a funeral and a request is made for a donantion to a specific charity instead of flowers - is there offence in that? Of course not

Torry_Quine

I think it is incredibly rude to ask for money for the honeymoon, specific vouchers or indeed a gift list. The whole idea is to invite people to come and celebrate your big day. I always look at the list but have never actually used them as I find them impersonal. I was grateful for everything we got.

chesky369

I'd send a card saying 'instead of contributing to your honeynmoon, we've donated money to a charity - NSPCC'.

elastigirl

No i don't have a problem with the no children rule at all as we try not to take him to them unless we can't get anyone to have him then i would ask if it was ok for him to come or we wouldn't be able to go.
I was just surprised how they put it. May be they were trying to be funny. As the invite on the inside was only addressed to myself and hubby i took it my ds wasn't invited anyway but to then say that how they said it i felt it wasn't needed.

As far as i am aware from what other guests have said when you pay your money it states who it is from and the amount and you can leave a congrats message for them. I'm not very comfortable with them being able to see the amount given. I may give a small donation then something personal like a hamper full of their fav things.

Idiophreak

Souk08 wrote: »

As I will not be marrying or having kids I won't be paying loads out for other peoples leaving myself short as they wont be doing the same for me!

Nice. Whatever happened to the joy of giving, eh.

Anyway, I see nothing wrong whatsoever with people giving gift lists or wanting money for the honeymoon or a house deposit - I'm way too lazy to find anything "deep and meaningful" for people, so at least that way they get stuff they actually want and I get to buy them a gift without hassle. Everyone's a winner.

OP, is that *actually* the exact wording on the card, or have you paraphrased a little?

Perhaps if you wrote the whole thing out for us it would put it in context?

I just can't believe anyone would actually write that on their invite...Unless it was intended to be tongue-in-cheek or something, but they didn't quite get it right...

chris_n_tj

How times seem to have changed. We married 29 years ago. The most important thing for us was, our family and friends around us as we made our vows, including nosey kids.
Not the gifts (although they were most welcome) or even auntie May wearing the wrong "colour"
I sometimes think the whole point of the wedding day has gone out of the window.
I think the OP is right to feel offended at the wording of their invite, and I bet many of the other guests will be saying the same thing behind closed doors.
Chris n TJ

Loopy_Girl

Idiophreak wrote: »

I just can't believe anyone would actually write that on their invite...Unless it was intended to be tongue-in-cheek or something, but they didn't quite get it right...

I think that's what happened...it was probably funny when they were saying it aloud to each other but on paper with no tone, some people are taking it as to be rude

Idiophreak

chris_n_tj wrote: »

How times seem to have changed. We married 29 years ago...
I sometimes think the whole point of the wedding day has gone out of the window.

Speaking to my nan on the issue, it's clear that as far as she's concerned, the point of the wedding day went out of the window as soon as pre-marital sex became socially acceptable

gwhizz75

I think without knowing the couple, it is quite hard to say whether their comment was meant in a spiteful way or as a bit of a joke. I would imagine that the latter is true though and they probably didn't mean any offence. Sometimes people like to dress up what they are saying as they think it sounds better than just writing "NO CHILDREN" - Sometimes by doing so, they end up making things worse and causing even more offence. If you weren't going to bring your children anyway, then I wouldn't really let it bother you.

With regards to asking for money, I really don't understand why people have a problem with this! Either you spend money on a gift, or you give the amount you would have spent on a gift in cash. What's the problem? People don't seem to have the same hang up over giving gift vouchers but surely that is exactly the same only you are restricting them to one shop. I would gladly give friends or family money towards their honeymoon if they didn't want any other presents. What could be a nicer gesture than helping to give them their dream honeymoon? They will treasure those memories for the rest of their lives.