Wedding list: They have asked for money

Barny1979

cakey wrote: »

i have had 3 wedding this year

You've attended 3 weddings already in 2010?!!

Person_one

I suggest you have a look at the wedding section of this forum:

https://www.etiquettehell.com/smf

The regulars on there won't be impressed by that invitation at all!

OP they can't order you to give them money. If your way of wishing them well as they start married life is a toaster or a vase or whatever you are still free to give them that.

ninky_2

omg they sound totally obnoxious and rude.

how about replying "it is your choice to be getting married. however, it is out choice to stay at home and enjoy the time with our kids".

i don't have a problem with money as a gift. in some cultures it's just the norm to give money to people when they get married.

personally i just thought the more the merrier for my wedding and that included children. having lots of people at your wedding is considered good luck in iran and a badly attended wedding a bad omen. so we just gave out loads of invites and said anyone who wanted to could come. that said - it meant catering had to be buffet.

Souk08

Old uni mates of mine asked for money for a holiday after their wedding. I myself hadn't had a holiday in years so I didn't send money. I couldn't go to the wedding anyway.

The wording on this is just rude. I am very Carrie Bradshaw re the whole thing i.e I am single and pay all my costs myself. As I will not be marrying or having kids I won't be paying loads out for other peoples leaving myself short as they wont be doing the same for me!

wifeforlife

I really don't see what the problem is with the invitation - I dont' see it as rude, I'd see it as more insensitive and rude if they sent an invitation to Mr & Mrs X and Mr & Mrs X turned up with junior in tow.

I think they're being very up front and direct, they've invited you to their wedding, if you want to go you should but it's only an invitation, not an obligation.

With regards to asking for money, I think it's excellent that they've given you the details of the company they're using for the honeymoon, at least you know the money is truely going to what they have said it is. If you give them a gift when they've specifically said they have everything they need, I would see this as rude. More than likely they won't know how much people have graced their honeymoon bill and will genuinely appreciate the gesture.

andrealm

lostinrates wrote: »

Its not the request it is the way it is phrased.

Exactly. They could have said something like "Unfortunately due to space restrictions we are unable to accommodate children at our wedding but we hope you will still be able to join us."

But they way they have phrased it is almost like saying "We don't want your brats running around screaming and ruining our wedding."

It's a very rude way of putting it. As we don't have any grandparents who are willing and able to babysit we wouldn't be able to go to a wedding if there was a no children rule. Fair enough it's the couple's choice not to have children there but it would annoy me if they assume that everyone has babysitters on tap.

I don't have a problem with people asking for gift vouchers or whatever as long as it doesn't come across too much as "Give us your money" Again it's down to how you phrase it.

Loopy_Girl

andrealm wrote: »

Exactly. They could have said something like "Unfortunately due to space restrictions we are unable to accommodate children at our wedding but we hope you will still be able to join us."

But they way they have phrased it is almost like saying "We don't want your brats running around screaming and ruining our wedding."

It's a very rude way of putting it. As we don't have any grandparents who are willing and able to babysit we wouldn't be able to go to a wedding if there was a no children rule. Fair enough it's the couple's choice not to have children there but it would annoy me if they assume that everyone has babysitters on tap.

I don't have a problem with people asking for gift vouchers or whatever as long as it doesn't come across too much as "Give us your money" Again it's down to how you phrase it.

But then if you get to the wedding and there is plenty space?

It is basically what they are saying...so what? It's their wedding that they have probably spent thousands on. The way I read it is that they are respecting the fact that the guests have kids but asking for the same respect in their decision not to have them there...

Yes they are wet behind the ears expecting that babysitters are always available but, if they have kids, they will learn;)

belfastgirl23

I think the no kids thing is absolutely fine but very badly expressed. I must admit it's a sentiment I do feel myself in every single restaurant I go to with badly behaved children but I don't ever say it even to strangers never mind to close friends and family.

On the money thing, could you club together with other people from work and give a 'joint' present, even if it is cash...

Money_maker

Last wedding I went to, the children were the ones who got the ball rolling on the dance floor!

I find the wording very inappropriate - there's better ways to put it.

I would just take a card (no cash) or not attend.

Loopy_Girl

Souk08 wrote: »

Old uni mates of mine asked for money for a holiday after their wedding. I myself hadn't had a holiday in years so I didn't send money. I couldn't go to the wedding anyway.

The wording on this is just rude. I am very Carrie Bradshaw re the whole thing i.e I am single and pay all my costs myself. As I will not be marrying or having kids I won't be paying loads out for other peoples leaving myself short as they wont be doing the same for me!

Tee hee!!! That exact episode of SATC came into my head when I read it!!!! Hope the guests keep their shoes on!!!!!:rotfl::rotfl: