Wedding list: They have asked for money

Loopy_Girl

Horace wrote: »

Children can actually make a wedding - I would rather go to a wedding where kids are involved rather than to one where the parents have had to make alternative arrangements. A forward thinking bride would have perhaps provided some creche facilities for small children so they could still enjoy the wedding and still have their faces painted etc.

It's nothing to do with forward thinking. It's their choice and I am struggling with the indignation that everyone should welcome other's cherubs without a murmur.....

And oh yeah.....kids with face paint and a lovely white dress - oh joy:rolleyes:

Loopy_Girl

becky_rtw wrote: »

Let me say I'm not getting married anytime soon anyway

But I hate children and weddings are for adults!

Who cares when you have a cute fwuffy puppy like you do in your pic!!!! Awww....sooooo cute:D

becky_rtw

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Who cares when you have a cute fwuffy puppy like you do in your pic!!!! Awww....sooooo cute:D

Its not mine , its what I'd have if I didnt work full time and run 50 miles a week :rolleyes::rolleyes::(

Loopy_Girl

becky_rtw wrote: »

Its not mine , its what I'd have if I didnt work full time and run 50 miles a week :rolleyes::rolleyes::(

Oh dear....have I waded in with my size 8's again *sigh*

sorry

becky_rtw

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Oh dear....have I waded in with my size 8's again *sigh*

sorry

Thats okay - I have huge feet too :rotfl::rotfl::D

(its hard to upset runners we are too laid back :cool::cool:)

DaisyFlower

I find it totally rude to ask for cash as a wedding gift, its akin with charging an entry fee to the actual event.

A discrete wedding list, only provided if asked for, I dont mind but cash requests are vulgar and I personally would decline the invite.

If they cant afford the wedding or honeymoon then they should save more or downscale rather than expect the guests to pick up the tab.

SugarSpun

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

It's nothing to do with forward thinking. It's their choice and I am struggling with the indignation that everyone should welcome other's cherubs without a murmur.....

And oh yeah.....kids with face paint and a lovely white dress - oh joy:rolleyes:

I don't think she should welcome children - it's just that the way it was worded is obviously putting off some of her guests.

Badly behaved children are the scourge of civilised social events. Well behaved ones are nice enough - if the hosts choose to invite them - till they start to get tired and should then be taken off to bed before they turn into badly behaved ones. I have a baby and like her a lot, but my BIL's specific invitation to her to his wedding had me quite bewildered. She's a baby and she's unpredictably noisy and I'd planned to leave her in the hotel room with a babysitter. If she starts complaining during the ceremony she and I will take a walk, and as soon as she even looks like she's about to misbehave at the reception we'll be back in the room out of the way. Simple.

All they had to say was "Please respect our wishes for an adults only ceremony and reception" and that would be totally polite and to the point.

Skippycat

I think it's a personal choice whether or not couples want a child free wedding. But I certainly think that the invite could have been worded much better. I don't have children myself but still think the wording of the invite is extremely offensive. It could also come across as being quite cruel to guests who can't ask the grandparents to babysit as the grandparents have passed away or are just not on speaking terms for whatever reason. Perhaps it would have been better if the bride and groom had spent a little more time thinking out the wording of the invites rather than working out how much they can expect to make off their guests in admission fees....

melancholly

well i don't think it's the most offensive thing ever and that these people should be 'cut off' for their comments - it's clearly just their sense of humour! i can see it coming across better in person than in print, but surely if you have an invite you must know them and their personalities?!

as far as money goes, it's excatly the same as a list. i will never be obliged to spend more than i can afford and i'd sooner have a guide than try and find something and take it to the ceremony.

you know, it's their day - it's not about what anyone else wants......... no matter what the couple do someone will get upset. their humour might not suit all but it sounds like a good excuse to leave the kids at home and have a proper night out to me!

dizziblonde

I don't think anyone has the right to railroad or emotionally try to blackmail those who don't want children at an event they're paying for. I don't want kids at my wedding, I've made that wish perfectly clear but I know for a fact that one relative is going to go against my wishes (I asked my mother to pass it along because however you word it on the invites someone's going to take offence and scream hysterically) because that's the kind of person they are.

If it's an event they are paying for - why should they be bullied into invites that they don't want to make, and the ridiculous notion that the couple should be basically forced into laying on a creche or publicly berrated as evil child-hating witches... why should I lay on that provision? (The family member I'm using as my example - I don't actually care either way if they come to the wedding or not - it's one of those people I HAVE to invite for a quiet life but someone I lost patience with for their behaviour a very long time ago).

If people I've invited can't get childcare and can't come - that's their choice and I respect that but why do people constantly think they've got the right to bully couples getting married into jumping through hoops to accommodate them? Little kids running around may "make" your wedding... but for many people it's their idea of hell - it might be a newsflash, but, just the same as not everyone is happy or comfortable around dogs or cats (I love cats, don't feel easy or able to interact naturally with dogs), not everyone can relate to small children and wants to have a day where they're paying an often-stupid amount of money for THEIR big special event feeling uneasy.

Yes the request was badly worded but there are probably a lot reading this who do sympathise with the sentiment behind it - but are possibly too scared to speak out because they'll be jumped on and insulted in numerous ways as some kind of freak. And before anyone dredges it up - yes I teach, I like the company of little kids, but I also have an low tolerance level for kids running around out of control in restaurants etc while their parents slack off, and after dealing with infertility for well over 2 years - I'd like mine and my partner's special day to be somewhere where I don't have the constant rubbing my nose in it with the "aww isn't X cute when are you going to have one" stuff going off - as families are so keen to do. I only use the word "I" here as it's me personally typing the post - my partner agrees with it but since he's not typing I'm not using the royal we or anything - just pre-empting the "well I bet your fella thinks kids make a wedding and you're so cold for not wanting them there."

Not getting at the OP btw... but the silly "oh you should put on a creche" nonsense.

I don't like wedding lists btw (always feels a little like you've regressed to writing your Xmas letter to Santa), especially those only seeking money - but it's a personal peeve of mine (always feels like you've got to financially quantify your affection toward a couple and what if you give less than others and look tight etc etc), we're having neither - if people buy us gifts, that's their choice, if they don't, their choice, if we end up with 5 toasters - well we won't be needing to buy one for the next 40 years, if people give cash - it'll go towards the remaining bits of furniture we need for this house but I'm not going with the begging bowl out asking... not my style.