Wedding list: They have asked for money

ClootiesMum

In my opinion, the invite is downright rude

I can understand not having children at a wedding - it is a long day, but there are ways to say this & the wording on the invite is NOT the way to express this. And if you don't want children ata wedding you have to expect that people who have kids might decline to come.
Asking for money when you have your house already - OK, a bit tacky, but I can understand - but again the wording is atrocious
And if I'd been invited I'd decline & explain why I wasn't going. People who think they can talk to others as bluntly as this must be brusque individuals (as an understatement)

But better than having your wedding present returned - the hand painted picture we sent my brother & his wife was returned as the colours didn't suit..... It was a local artist & a painting of the Forth Road Bridge so not exactly offensive.
We still have the picture in our hall today & it's admired by most visitors. Needless to say - no replacement pressie was sent

CM

MrsE_2

Catblue wrote: »

I don't know why some couples don't just charge an entrance fee for their wedding and be done with it. Because that is what it comes down to.

Some couples feel that, in order to afford the big wedding that they want, they need to generate a fair amount of income from the guests. As hard-hearted as that.

All this "We have everything that we need so give us cash" stuff. So why are they asking for cash then if they have everything that they need? They should be really pleased that they have everything that they need and therefore should not have to resort to begging.

These same guests, given that they are effectively paying for their own place at the wedding then feel entitled to grouse about the food that they are paying for but have no say in.

Depressing.

Not all couples are like this of course.

But most people want to (or feel they have to) bring a gift to a wedding, they just wouldn't be comfortable not doing so.

People want to give something, so instead of getting 12 kettles, 15 toasters, a giant plastic horseshoe and 3 mismatched pairs of champagne flutes you get something you actually will use.

I would hate to waste money buying a gift of something they already had, I would want whatever I give to be used. Whether its towards a home improvement or honeymoon or whatever.

I think its really nice to let people know what their gift went towards in the thank you cards;)

dizziblonde

Person_one wrote: »

Lots of people wouldn't find that at all funny.

Weddings can be a family celebration, but there's no rule that they must be. Plenty of people have horrible families or just aren't especially close to their family. Also, 'family' is not a synonym with 'children'. There are no children in my immediate family, we still are one.

I agree - I'd just find that incredibly rude and not at all funny, like the annecdote earlier of someone's kid upstaging one of the speeches... I can't see why people think that's acceptable behaviour when whatever you think of the person giving the speech, they are a person the bride and groom have chosen to play that part within THEIR day.

Same as people who think it's endearing that their kid giggled through the vows or whatever - I'm sorry, but me saying my vows to my fella matters a great deal for me, and I want the people I invite to be able to hear what we're saying to each other as we make that commitment and I'd be incredibly upset if it was drowned out with someone's cute little kiddie deciding to sing the wheels on the bus or something - I wouldn't find it cute, I'd find it incredibly upsetting that one of the special moments in my life was damaged by someone's kid deciding to act up and play to an audience.

I can't understand why some people on here refuse to acknowledge that behaviour might be cute or hysterically funny for you - but isn't for everyone, and that the wishes of the couple ARE the important thing on this one day in their lives. Unless you're a Hollywood celeb or what-not... you only really get one shot at getting married - hence people being very very protective of their special day. I want my memories to be of me and blokey standing up and committing to spending our lives together, not of little Johnny deciding to show how he can burp his A B Cs.

Spendless

Are you tempted to write back

'Over the last few years it was your choice to go off and spend lots of money but it wasn't ours, so please pay for your own honeymoon.:p


Not that I have a problem with 'no kids' at weddings.

ManOnTheMoon

If someone wrote an invite to me like that, i'd have RSVP'd with a stick your friendship up your behind.

LisaLou1982

Sligo wrote: »

Hope no-one ever has to attend a wedding here in Eire!! No wedding present lists - they are considered very rude! Cash is expected and going rate for a couple attending a wedding would be at least €200-250. And that's just for friends! If it was nephew/niece it would be expected to be double that!! And as for brothers/sisters just take out a second mortgage!

No seperate evening receptions here. Just the one big do with meal and have been at weddings with 300 -400 guests!! Some people would get evening invitations to join the party after the meal and that used to be considered an enormous insult - you were being invited "to lick the plates" was the phrase used!!

The attitude is that you have to give enough cash to cover the cost of being a the meal!! After 20 years here I'm still trying to get my head round it! Thankfully we haven't been invited to any weddings in last couple of years!!

My family live in Spain and its pretty much the same over there.

No wedding gift list - the general rule is that you give enough to cover the cost of your meal plus a bit extra.

Im not married but when i do get married, i think it would only be family children that are invited. I dont see why i should have to spend my hard earned money on paying for other peoples children when they can leave them with a babysitter. That said, im known for being a bit blunt sometimes, but even i think the OPs quote off the invitation about the children was rude.

Someone mentioned earlier about being obliged to invite family members to stop any hassle from other family members - i assure you, this will NEVER happen at my wedding. The ONLY people invited are people that i want there. If someone gets offended at not being invited then thats their problem. If they made more effort with me then they would be there wouldnt they?! lol

Running_Horse

The whole wedding presents thing is a minefield, with some relatives refusing to buy boring presents from a list we didn't want to write or need to send out, and others buying two presents because the things we asked for were too cheap. With the benefit of hindsight we would have said we have everything we want and need, but feel free to send us money or donate to charity.

*Louise*

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

The thing is, you don't need to.

The wedding invite should be addressed to anyone who is invited, depending on how formal the wedding is and if you have Mr & Mrs Peter Jones request the company of, or not.

For instance, they should be written to
Andy and Carole or
Mr & Mrs D Smith or
Mr & Mrs D Smith and family/children's names or
Andy, Carole, Jake and Lucy etc

It doesn't take a genius to work out whether children are invited or welcome. It is usually very clear who is invited.

.

Totally agree, that's how I done my invitations - my nieces/nephews were all listed on the invite along with their parents. Any invites OH and I have received with just our names it's been an automatic assumption that no children were invited.

But on wedding forums I have read, a lot of people feel they need to specifically mention that kids aren't invited.

Kay_Peel

I'd be very dubious about paying money to a third party rather than the couple themselves.

What's the legal position if the Travel agent/Tour Operator goes bust? Would all the contributers have to get involved in compensation claims - especially those who paid by credit card? I've no idea but I wouldn't want to get involved in all that hassle.

Idiophreak

*Louise* wrote: »

But on wedding forums I have read, a lot of people feel they need to specifically mention that kids aren't invited.

Sadly, I know plenty of parents that are so wrapped up in their children, the idea that the children might not be invited just wouldn't occur to them unless it's spelt out...And if you don't want children there, it's better to be safe than sorry...