Wedding list: They have asked for money

kegg_2

my children are not babies anymore and know how to behave themselves at a wedding or other foraml occasion.
If they are not taken to such events how are they expected to learn these things?
A badly behaved child at any social gathering is a pain but it is more the fault of the parent than the child as they sould be taught when it is a time to sit quitely and behave.
You cant blame the child with the noisy toy as it was the parents who provided it

frannyann

Whilst its the individual couples choice whether to have children there or not, ( first wedding we asked that none attend, yet when I get married later this year, out of 30 guests, 5 are children.) I feel the invitation was very rude, and I would be inclined to not give money purely on that basis.

mrcow

kegg wrote: »

You cant blame the child with the noisy toy as it was the parents who provided it

I didn't blame the child. It was the ignorant parent who was pushing all the buttons on it!

Person_one

kegg wrote: »

my children are not babies anymore and know how to behave themselves at a wedding or other foraml occasion.
If they are not taken to such events how are they expected to learn these things?
A badly behaved child at any social gathering is a pain but it is more the fault of the parent than the child as they sould be taught when it is a time to sit quitely and behave.
You cant blame the child with the noisy toy as it was the parents who provided it

Why is it anyone else's job to help you teach your children how to behave? I only went to one wedding as a child, aged 2 so probably not a valuable learning experience and I assure you that I am now perfectly capable of behaving myself at them.

Yes the noisy toy was the parents fault but this is exactly why so many people want child free weddings. You can't necessarily trust the parents to be sensible and take crying babies outside, tell their little ones to be quiet etc.

dizziblonde

kegg wrote: »

my children are not babies anymore and know how to behave themselves at a wedding or other foraml occasion.
If they are not taken to such events how are they expected to learn these things?
A badly behaved child at any social gathering is a pain but it is more the fault of the parent than the child as they sould be taught when it is a time to sit quitely and behave.
You cant blame the child with the noisy toy as it was the parents who provided it

If I'm arranging (and let's be honest here - paying for) a social event and choose who to invite - what on earth gives you the right to railroad over that and decide that you will completely override those wishes and that you're somewhat above everything just because you have a child. If you don't want to come because of childcare issues, or because you have to have your child stapled to your left hip - then decline the invite politely and do whatever else you'd be doing on that day - but people with kids have no absolute right to demand that they're invited to everything and anything above and beyond the wishes of those arranging the event in question.

I don't see why some people with kids struggle to accept that - I don't WANT kids at my wedding, it's not my idea of a good day, I'm paying for the event (along with oh obviously), I've invited the people I wanted to spend the day with - yet some people on here continue to think that they would have the right to railroad over my wishes and bring a kid along to sing the wheels on the bus right through the middle of the wedding vows and it'll be delightfully cute and I'm just some kind of two-headed monster for not thinking this.

If you want to train your children how to behave in social situations - sorry but I'm not subsidising that. My family have never invited kids to weddings as a general rule, never had them at funerals either - we've always had that split between social situations where the family kid-crew are welcome and those where they aren't.

Generally if you hang around the wedding forum for any length of time you see people absolutely ripped to shreds from all directions trying to keep everyone under the sun happy with their big day, and losing control over the day that they wanted and had in mind from the outset - people bend over backwards to accommodate all these wishes - but the way some people who don't want children at their wedding get bullied, railroaded and backed into a corner where they have to agree to it all is pretty emotionally cruel to be honest - and it's not on. Yes I'm partially including myself in this because I know one of my relatives is going to explicitly ignore my wishes and bring their child anyway - which means I'm going to have a delightful day of having the baby forced on me for "oh you want to hold her" "oh you'll be next" "why don't you have a kiddy yet"... which is why I wanted to block children from the wedding since I'm infertile and avoid family situations with kids at because I can't stand that endless line of questioning and explanation. If the relative in question does bring the kid - I'm going to have a lovely day of trying to avoid her totally - nice way to spoil my one wedding day huh?

Idiophreak

ninky wrote: »

why is that sad? surely parents being wrapped up in their children is something to celebrate. i don't want kids myself. but i certainly hope those who do decide to have them are prepared to be "wrapped up" in them. and i really like seeing other people's children. children are part of life.

I think it's sad whenever anyone becomes so engaged in their own world it has a detrimental effect on their understanding or appreciation of wider issues. This doesn't just apply for kids, I don't think you have to look beyond these boards to find people who would assume that their "little boy" would be invited with them - sadly (and I mean that), their "little boy" is actually their dog, Rufus (for example - really hope there's nobody on the pet board with a dog named Rufus )...they love him so much, they can't imagine anyone not seeing things the same way.

As I said, I find that sad.

talulahbeige_2

A huge percentage of weddings are held in venues that hold licences to serve alcohol. Would you take your child to the pub?

Kegg- your comment about parents not teaching a child to behave etc. I've been to many weddings where by the end of the day I've struggled ot behave as they have been arranged to start at 1pm and go till late, they get boring for adults when you are just sat around waiting never mind kids. Leave them at home and you get the best of both worlds

mrcow

talulahbeige wrote: »

A huge percentage of weddings are held in venues that hold licences to serve alcohol. Would you take your child to the pub?

As long as they don't eat all my crisps.

My four year old is just the right height to scoop the coins out the bottom of the one armed bandit machine. Saves me bending down.

And my eight year old is good at keeping my bar stool for me when I pop to the bogs.

andrealm

Yes I would take children to the pub for a meal. Why wouldn't you? Most restaurants also serve alcohol including some that are very child friendly such as Pizza Express.

talulahbeige_2

Weddings aren't just a meal, they are long affairs where the meal only lasts 2hrs.

Some restaurants are designed to be child freindly just like some weddings are and some weddings arent