Wedding list: They have asked for money

freebiequennie

we never give money as a gift even to our neices and nephews for xmas and birthdays I dont think it shows alot of thought.

For weddings we have been to where they have asked for money we have brought a nice Arthur Price photoframe for £15-£30 depending on whose wedding it is and put a gift reciept in and they can change it if they like.

Mme.Hibou

Idiophreak wrote: »

Yeah, absolutely.

In your case, I suggest you think about it. You may not think you mind what you get, but when you receive 12 kettles, 15 toasters, a giant plastic horseshoe and 3 mismatched pairs of champagne flutes, you might feel differently.

The thing is, it's unlikely that people would actually buy you a toaster, we got married very recently, had no list or request for gifts, we were given money by most people, some vouchers and a few well chosen gifts, some people also came empty handed, because that's okay too!

Incidentally, with the John Lewis vouchers (from a few people) we put them towards a rather luxurious toaster ourselves

shellsuit

freebiequennie wrote: »

we never give money as a gift even to our neices and nephews for xmas and birthdays I dont think it shows alot of thought.

For weddings we have been to where they have asked for money we have brought a nice Arthur Price photoframe for £15-£30 depending on whose wedding it is and put a gift reciept in and they can change it if they like.

If they have asked for money, why buy them a gift?

What if everyone else thought the same way as you and they ended up with 64 photo frames?

If someone asks of me, I'll get what they ask for, as I don't see the point of buying them something they don't want.

I just don't like asking for something myself.

freebiequennie

shellsuit wrote: »

If they have asked for money, why buy them a gift?

What if everyone else thought the same way as you and they ended up with 64 photo frames?

If someone asks of me, I'll get what they ask for, as I don't see the point of buying them something they don't want.

I just don't like asking for something myself.

because I dont agree with giving money as gifts and particularly for weddings or parties its like paying to attend the function!

Person_one

cactuspotty wrote: »

I don't think it's rude to ask for money - it's the way they went about it that is rude.

What I find more offensive is the 'no children' rule. I think weddings are a family celebration, so to not have children there is a real shame. We had lots of kids at our wedding. They were really well behaved and had lots of fun. A great moment was when one of the kids burped really loudly during the best man's speech - classic!

Lots of people wouldn't find that at all funny.

Weddings can be a family celebration, but there's no rule that they must be. Plenty of people have horrible families or just aren't especially close to their family. Also, 'family' is not a synonym with 'children'. There are no children in my immediate family, we still are one.

Catblue

I don't know why some couples don't just charge an entrance fee for their wedding and be done with it. Because that is what it comes down to.

Some couples feel that, in order to afford the big wedding that they want, they need to generate a fair amount of income from the guests. As hard-hearted as that.

All this "We have everything that we need so give us cash" stuff. So why are they asking for cash then if they have everything that they need? They should be really pleased that they have everything that they need and therefore should not have to resort to begging.

These same guests, given that they are effectively paying for their own place at the wedding then feel entitled to grouse about the food that they are paying for but have no say in.

Depressing.

Not all couples are like this of course.

JBD

freebiequennie wrote: »

because I dont agree with giving money as gifts and particularly for weddings or parties its like paying to attend the function!

I really don't understand this way of thinking. Why would you go out of your way to give a gift that the person doesn't actually want or need? Is it to make you feel good? Surely the gift is for the recipient's benefit. I always give my adult son money for christmas because it's what he asks for. Why would I assume that I know what he wants or needs more than he does?

brokeinwales

I think it's probably just a misplaced sense of humour, rather than rudeness - I think it's a mistake to take too much offence at the wording. Presumably you know these people fairly well and you know whether this is typical behaviour?

I've always thought the concept of wedding lists (and Christmas lists, and birthday lists) was slightly naff - "we're so special that we actually expect you to get us a present and this is what you should get...", so I don't see how asking for mioney is any better or worse really.
I suppose it would have been better to say "We would prefer not to receive presents as we already have everything we need. If you are feeling generous, we do have a honeymoon fund and contributions are much appreciated!"

I wouldn't worry too much about it, go to the wedding, enjoy yourself, give a little cash if you can afford it and don't make more of an issue of it than it needs to be.

red_devil

we were invited to a fancy do in 97. It was in about 4 different places and there was a dress code. Dress code i ask you? People were moaning.

They arent together now!

JBD

red_devil wrote: »

we were invited to a fancy do in 97. It was in about 4 different places and there was a dress code. Dress code i ask you? People were moaning.

They arent together now!

Some people ask their guests to wear a specific colour to fit in with their own colour scheme.I don't agree with this myself as guests should not feel obligated to buy a new outfit.