Wedding list: They have asked for money

Person_one

Jilly5 wrote: »

Hello everyone,

I wonder if anyone would be kind enough to tell me what they would think if this came with the invitation for the day time -

We are sending out this invitation
In hope you will join our celebration
But if a gift is your intention
May we take this opportunity to mention
We have already got a kettle and toaster
crockery, dinner mats and matching coaster's.
So rather than something we've already got
We would appreciate money for our honeymoon pot
But most importantly we request
That you come to our wedding as our guest

We are getting married in May and didn't want a pressent list or any kind of mention of gifts - we just want people to come to our wedding and celebrate with us but both sets of parents and other friends and family members have said its such a good idea to mention it so you don't get three toasters etc etc.

I really don't know what to do - i always give money at weddings anyway as its easier.

Please help if you can - its stressing me so much and the invites were supposed to go out weeks ago,

J x

Edit - keeping on topic - the wording the OP received is horrendous and clearly likely to offend i think, kids or no kids = couples individual choice but no need to be so rude about it. I've prob got as many kids coming as adults but thats how we personally want it - everyones different.

If all you want is for them to celebrate with you then why mention cash/gifts at all? This sounds like you want them to come and celebrate with you but you'd also quite like a bit of their cash too please!

I have to admit, I hate these poems with a passion, they're all so cutesy wutesy and sickly whilst basically being a begging letter. If you'd prefer cash over gifts, tell your parents or your bridesmaids in passing and they'll spread the word, and if people approach to ask what you want then you can safely answer because you aren't ASSUMING that they will automatically want to give you stuff just because you're entering into a new contract.

graemecarter

elastigirl wrote: »

We have been invited to a wedding and i was a little surprised at how they worded some of it,
I don't have a problem with their wishes but it's how they have said it, Maybe it is just me but i have found it a bit rude.

They have a no children rule this is fine as we only take our son to them if they are family weddings and this is a friends. But they wrote on the invite

''Over the last few years it was your choice and decision to go off and have lots of children but it wasn't ours however it is our choice and decision not to have them at our wedding, so leave them with the grandparents.

The gift list inclosed was a card that said no actual gifts as we have everything we need. please give us money to pay for the honeymoon.
Then there is details of a company where we either send a cheque or ring and give our credit/debit card details so that the money directly pays off the honeymoon.

I am a little un easy about giving money as i guess it isn't the normal thing to do and we aren't used to it. I would feel cheap giving them £20-£30 in cash wheres a gift can look alot more. i don't know how much to give as they are really only a work friend, i would prefer to give a gift really.

The wording about the kids is a little off, but it is totally acceptable to ask for a honeymoon donation. Why give them something they don't need.
Also remember it is their day, not yours. Rise above it, put your feeling aside, and go and enjoy it

AnxiousMum

I think that the way the OP has said the couple worded their request about no children is absolutely rude and arrogant. I have been to many weddings where children were not invited, but never had it worded rudely. I have also been to a wedding where a party tent was set up for the kids - and they had a couple of hired sitters, and parents could go in there at any time. They simply didn't want to have children around where adults were partying.

As for the request for money - again, extremely rude. I don't like the poems, but they do get the point across in a nice manner. Sometimes there is a valid reason - had friends get married here and emigrate to Australia bout six weeks later - of course, cash was the best option - as there was lots of stuff that the had, but would have to replace once there.

Personally, if the person who I knew was as rude as the invitation is worded, I think I'd be busy that day and unable to go, or unable to get grandparents to look after children etc. and send them a nice wedding card.

skintbutsolvent

o many of my friends have got married in the last few years that I have given up worrying about presents etc! One of my best friends go married on an extremely tight budget so I gave them £400, which I happened to have available at the time (had planned a holiday buy got far more enjoyment from seeing them have a lovely reception that they couldn't afford otherwise!). When the wedding has involved travelling and overnight stays in hotels I have either given a token/homemade present or just a card. My brother gets married soon and I really wish they would hurry up and decide what they want - I have offered cash to help towards the big day (again it is being done on a budget) but they said they didn't need it!

wifeforlife

skintbutsolvent wrote: »

o many of my friends have got married in the last few years that I have given up worrying about presents etc! One of my best friends go married on an extremely tight budget so I gave them £400, which I happened to have available at the time (had planned a holiday buy got far more enjoyment from seeing them have a lovely reception that they couldn't afford otherwise!). When the wedding has involved travelling and overnight stays in hotels I have either given a token/homemade present or just a card. My brother gets married soon and I really wish they would hurry up and decide what they want - I have offered cash to help towards the big day (again it is being done on a budget) but they said they didn't need it!

What a lovely, generous and kind gift! It's practically giving them the day they want - I think this is fabulous! :j

Mips

We didn't even ask for gifts at the wedding, children were invited to the evening reception... I just sent invites out not even mentioning children .. I just said to mums that if they want to bring the kids, they can.. not a problem.

It was my brothers getting drunk on the free Champage that were a problem - and puking everywhere .

Kids were so much better behaved

thatgirlsam

MrsE wrote: »

I totally agree with Dizziblonde.

You pays your money you takes your choice.

Some think a wedding isn't a wedding without kids, others think they ruin it. Its up to the happy couple NOT the guests to choose.

If you have kids & you object to this, DECLINE THE INVATATION, simple:D

I thought your post of "if they ask for money I will get them a gift anyway........"

Why would you do that?

The gift costs you money, why not cut out the middle man & just hand over the cash, its easier than choosing, shopping & wrapping;)

becuase i like to give a gift, not money !

i think asking for money is rude ..but thats only my opinion .. i do not expect everyone to share it

Person_one

thatgirlsam wrote: »

becuase i like to give a gift, not money !

i think asking for money is rude ..but thats only my opinion .. i do not expect everyone to share it

Asking for anything is rude!

(Can I have £10 from everyone on the board please to contribute to my new bathroom? I promise I deserve it, I'll up a paypal account)

thatgirlsam

Person_one wrote: »

Asking for anything is rude!

(Can I have £10 from everyone on the board please to contribute to my new bathroom? I promise I deserve it, I'll up a paypal account)

i have to agree!

its the way i was brought up , you wait to be offered , you do not ask !

i do understand that people don't want loads of household items but i still could not bring myself to ask for money

andrealm

Personally I think having a gift list or asking for gift vouchers to use for a honeymoon are fine but I wouldn't ask for money myself. I'm curious, if people ask for money and don't want any household items or to use for a honeymoon, what do they use the money for?