Wedding list: They have asked for money

beccam

The wording of the invite was certainly not the nicest but to be honest I never understand why people feel the need to specify no children....if the invite doesn't have their names on then they shouldn't be there!
If I recieved an invite for DH and myself, I wouldn't expect to bring my Granny along too and assume she was invited!;)

DH and I have been invited to a wedding at the end of Feb (no children included but no need to specify that either) as the couple are both slightly more 'mature' and have been living together for awhile they requested cash gifts (no problem, saves me going shopping!) however they worded it very nicely like so.....

"More than just kisses so far we have shared
our home has been made with love and care.
Most things we need we've already got
And in our small home we can't fit alot.

'A WISHING WELL'
we thought would be great
But only if you wish to participate
A gift of money is placed in the well
Then make a wish but Sssshhh don't tell
Once we've replaced the old with the new
We can look back and say it was thanks to you

In return for your kindness
we're sure that one day you will get what you wished for
on our special day.

Please don't be offended at this type of request
As our day is complete with you as our guest."


To me that is a perfectly acceptable way of asking for money as a gift and much more sensible than receiving 20 photo frames and 3 blenders!:rolleyes:

However if they had been rude enough to put the wording on the invite about children like the OP received, I could think of a few other things to place in the wishing well!!

savingmummy

"More than just kisses so far we have shared
our home has been made with love and care.
Most things we need we've already got
And in our small home we can't fit alot.

'A WISHING WELL'
we thought would be great
But only if you wish to participate
A gift of money is placed in the well
Then make a wish but Sssshhh don't tell
Once we've replaced the old with the new
We can look back and say it was thanks to you

In return for your kindness
we're sure that one day you will get what you wished for
on our special day.

Please don't be offended at this type of request
As our day is complete with you as our guest."

QUOTE]

That is nice

*Louise*

Lot of discussion about whether the couple are right or wrong to want kids, but that wasn't really the point the OP was making

I think the majority of people have said that they have every right not to want kids there.....but it's the WORDING which has offended.

I don't give a monkey's whether people want kids at their wedding or not, their day their choice and all that. But I would certainly be polite if I was asking other people not to bring the people they love most in the world with them.;)

Jilly5

Hello everyone,

I wonder if anyone would be kind enough to tell me what they would think if this came with the invitation for the day time -

We are sending out this invitation
In hope you will join our celebration
But if a gift is your intention
May we take this opportunity to mention
We have already got a kettle and toaster
crockery, dinner mats and matching coaster's.
So rather than something we've already got
We would appreciate money for our honeymoon pot
But most importantly we request
That you come to our wedding as our guest

We are getting married in May and didn't want a pressent list or any kind of mention of gifts - we just want people to come to our wedding and celebrate with us but both sets of parents and other friends and family members have said its such a good idea to mention it so you don't get three toasters etc etc.

I really don't know what to do - i always give money at weddings anyway as its easier.

Please help if you can - its stressing me so much and the invites were supposed to go out weeks ago,

J x

Edit - keeping on topic - the wording the OP received is horrendous and clearly likely to offend i think, kids or no kids = couples individual choice but no need to be so rude about it. I've prob got as many kids coming as adults but thats how we personally want it - everyones different.

Cissi

I've only read the first and last pages, and while this seems to have turned into a debate about whether or not it's right to want children at a wedding (or not) I agree with those who have pointed out that it's the WORDING that is the problem. Seems to me it's deliberately intended to offend, and why anyone would want to do that with their wedding invitation is beyond me. Personally, no, I wouldn't go after that.

Also, not everybody has the luxury of grandparents (or other family) to leave the children with! Ours are in different countries, and depending on the age of the children I may not feel comfortable asking friends to look after them for what may well be most of a weekend (at least if any travel is involved). A gentler wording and some flexibility would have been more appropriate IMO.

Smashing

If people want money as gifts I'd much rather they just came out and said it instead of using some naff poem they've copy and pasted from the internet.

dizziblonde

Jilly5 wrote: »

Hello everyone,

I wonder if anyone would be kind enough to tell me what they would think if this came with the invitation for the day time -

We are sending out this invitation
In hope you will join our celebration
But if a gift is your intention
May we take this opportunity to mention
We have already got a kettle and toaster
crockery, dinner mats and matching coaster's.
So rather than something we've already got
We would appreciate money for our honeymoon pot
But most importantly we request
That you come to our wedding as our guest

We are getting married in May and didn't want a pressent list or any kind of mention of gifts - we just want people to come to our wedding and celebrate with us but both sets of parents and other friends and family members have said its such a good idea to mention it so you don't get three toasters etc etc.

I really don't know what to do - i always give money at weddings anyway as its easier.

Please help if you can - its stressing me so much and the invites were supposed to go out weeks ago,

J x

Edit - keeping on topic - the wording the OP received is horrendous and clearly likely to offend i think, kids or no kids = couples individual choice but no need to be so rude about it. I've prob got as many kids coming as adults but thats how we personally want it - everyones different.

Being the apostrophe obsessed pedant I am - coasters at the end of the line shouldn't have one in it.

MrsE_2

thatgirlsam wrote: »

whoa dizziblonde !

maybe you need to accept that your idea of a wedding is different to other peoples ... i certainly do ..

heck , if we were all the same life would be pretty boring

I totally agree with Dizziblonde.

You pays your money you takes your choice.

Some think a wedding isn't a wedding without kids, others think they ruin it. Its up to the happy couple NOT the guests to choose.

If you have kids & you object to this, DECLINE THE INVATATION, simple:D

I thought your post of "if they ask for money I will get them a gift anyway........"

Why would you do that?

The gift costs you money, why not cut out the middle man & just hand over the cash, its easier than choosing, shopping & wrapping;)

MrsE_2

beccam wrote: »

The wording of the invite was certainly not the nicest but to be honest I never understand why people feel the need to specify no children....if the invite doesn't have their names on then they shouldn't be there!
If I recieved an invite for DH and myself, I wouldn't expect to bring my Granny along too and assume she was invited!;)

DH and I have been invited to a wedding at the end of Feb (no children included but no need to specify that either) as the couple are both slightly more 'mature' and have been living together for awhile they requested cash gifts (no problem, saves me going shopping!) however they worded it very nicely like so.....

"More than just kisses so far we have shared
our home has been made with love and care.
Most things we need we've already got
And in our small home we can't fit alot.

'A WISHING WELL'
we thought would be great
But only if you wish to participate
A gift of money is placed in the well
Then make a wish but Sssshhh don't tell
Once we've replaced the old with the new
We can look back and say it was thanks to you

In return for your kindness
we're sure that one day you will get what you wished for
on our special day.

Please don't be offended at this type of request
As our day is complete with you as our guest."


To me that is a perfectly acceptable way of asking for money as a gift and much more sensible than receiving 20 photo frames and 3 blenders!:rolleyes:

However if they had been rude enough to put the wording on the invite about children like the OP received, I could think of a few other things to place in the wishing well!!

I think an anonymous wishing well would be a fab idea.

Maybe then everyone would be happy.

Idiophreak

Jilly5 wrote: »

Hello everyone,

I wonder if anyone would be kind enough to tell me what they would think if this came with the invitation for the day time -

We are sending out this invitation
In hope you will join our celebration
But if a gift is your intention
May we take this opportunity to mention
We have already got a kettle and toaster
crockery, dinner mats and matching coaster's.
So rather than something we've already got
We would appreciate money for our honeymoon pot
But most importantly we request
That you come to our wedding as our guest

We are getting married in May and didn't want a pressent list or any kind of mention of gifts - we just want people to come to our wedding and celebrate with us but both sets of parents and other friends and family members have said its such a good idea to mention it so you don't get three toasters etc etc.

I really don't know what to do - i always give money at weddings anyway as its easier.

Please help if you can - its stressing me so much and the invites were supposed to go out weeks ago,

Pretty good generally, but a couple of the rhymes are a little clunky for my taste...I'd go for something more like:

We are sending out this invitation
In hope you'll join our celebration
But if a gift is your intention
May we take this chance to mention
We already have kettles, toasters,
Dinner mats and matching coasters.
So rather than give something that we've already got
We'd appreciate money for our honeymoon pot
But most importantly we request
That you come to our wedding as our guest

Just food for thought...