Wedding list: They have asked for money

SugarSpun

spugzbunny wrote: »

On a similar note - a friend of mine went to a wedding a few months ago and didn't have time to buy a gift. A few weeks after the wedding she was sent a reminder card saying (paraphrased) 'It was lovely to see you but we don't appear to have received your gift. You can send it to...' She (stupidly) replied back to apologise but thought about it and decided not to send anything as she felt it was bit rude. She then got a second reminder!!!! Now that is damn cheeky in my books!

I'd send them this. How rude!

A few people didn't give us actual, wrapped wedding gifts, but they'd flown in for the wedding and we both felt that them turning up to the wedding was gift enough for us. We didn't get married for the presents, we got married so we could be married - and we invited the people we love because we wanted to celebrate with them. We didn't want to pillage their wallets.

Idiophreak

Person_one wrote: »

Yes I'm afraid it is rude to ask for or expect any kind of gift. The best way to do it is to mention nothing in the invite but if anyone asks you say

I don't think it's rude these days at all. Every invite I've had have said "it's most important for us to have our friends and family around, but if you *want* to get us something then..." or words to that effect.

Don't have any problem with it at all, as I said earlier, for every person that's annoyed you're "asking" for gifts, someone else will be relieved that they don't have to worry about what to get you. It's all swings and round abouts...You may like it, you may not, but I think it's harsh to describe it as rude...

Person_one

Imagine if we did this for other events, such as sending out birthday party invites with a wish list or a request for cash or sent an e-mail to all your friends and family each November detailing what you want for Christmas this year?

Just because it's become the norm for weddings and we've all got used to it doesn't mean it's not a bit rude.

SP123_3

The whole invitation is extremely rude. I'd tell them where to stick it.

The 'no kids' rule doesn't bother me, I find children extremely irritating at adult occasions such as weddings, and refused to have any at our wedding. No mention of children was made on the invitation at all, and we spoke to the people who did have kids and explained that we weren't inviting any because the venue wasn't suitable for them (which was true). All were fine with this.

Asking for money and dictating what for is plain wrong. I had a wedding list, but did not even mention it on the invite as I think that's very impolite. As it was with a big department store no one had any trouble finding it, though one or two phoned my mum to check. We did receive quite a lot of money, but it was entirely unexpected and very much appreciated, and we made a point of telling the sender how we had used it - on stuff for a house! Personally, if anyone asked me for honeymoon money I'd be telling them I'd used it on my own holiday!

Frugalista

trickytrolleys wrote: »

I wouldnt be going to their wedding but I would be inclined to say I was and then just not turn up so they couldnt fill my place with another donor to the honeymoon fund

Katie-Kat-Kins wrote: »

Go along, enjoy the food and entertainment at their expense and buy (or better still recycle) them a really nasty pair of his n hers sherry glasses engraved with something twee (or something else tacky and obviously weddingy)as a gift as revenge, you can have fun imagining them writing the thank you card when they hate the gift!

Can't believe how vindictive and infantile the above posts are :eek::mad:.

OMG!! So the invitation was badly worded (I'm with those who think it was meant to be funny) therefore you think it's OK to behave like you have posted :rolleyes2. JEEZ!!

If your children are growing up with this sort of obnoxious and toxic influence from their parent it was probably wise that they weren't invited :eek:.

nearlyrich

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Good lord:eek: 42 cousins!!!!!!:rotfl:

Only 42 LOL I have loads too :rotfl:

wifeforlife

ellieo wrote: »

when my brother got married the invite stated no children
i thought if my 3 year old wasnt welcome then i wasnt too.
stayed away

Shows you what thought done then

If he didn't want you there, he wouldn't have sent you an invite at all, if you had no alternative for childcare I would understand your response but this was your brothers one time wedding. You see your child everyday, so I don't suppose it would have been the worst experience of your life to leave him for 1 day with a babysitter

wifeforlife

spugzbunny wrote: »

I do think the part about children has been worded very badly and would get my back up even though I don't have kids!

But .... Do people really think it's rude to ask for money? That is what I was going to do and every wedding I have been to as an adult (except one) have done the same. It's always been asked in a polite and often amusing way and I think it's a lot less wasteful than 25 toasters and certainly a lot less rude than being told I have to pick off a list!

On a similar note - a friend of mine went to a wedding a few months ago and didn't have time to buy a gift. A few weeks after the wedding she was sent a reminder card saying (paraphrased) 'It was lovely to see you but we don't appear to have received your gift. You can send it to...' She (stupidly) replied back to apologise but thought about it and decided not to send anything as she felt it was bit rude. She then got a second reminder!!!! Now that is damn cheeky in my books!

The OP's invitation didn't offend me in anyway - getting a reminder definately would though!

wifeforlife

SP123 wrote: »

Asking for money and dictating what for is plain wrong. I had a wedding list, but did not even mention it on the invite as I think that's very impolite. As it was with a big department store no one had any trouble finding it, though one or two phoned my mum to check. We did receive quite a lot of money, but it was entirely unexpected and very much appreciated, and we made a point of telling the sender how we had used it - on stuff for a house! Personally, if anyone asked me for honeymoon money I'd be telling them I'd used it on my own holiday!

Again this is a common misconception that they're dictating their guests pay for a holiday

It's their honeymoon, they have all they need and they are aware people will want to do something for them

They've included a guest list which states a company who the guests can donate to for a contribution to their honeymoon, gift lists are common place now with invitations, it's just this one isn't to replace all their materialistic goods. This one is to give them memories of a special one to one honeymoon as man and wife.

The gift list inclosed was a card that said no actual gifts as we have everything we need. please give us money to pay for the honeymoon.
Then there is details of a company where we either send a cheque or ring and give our credit/debit card details so that the money directly pays off the honeymoon.

nottslass_2

ellieo wrote: »

when my brother got married the invite stated no children
i thought if my 3 year old wasnt welcome then i wasnt too.
stayed away

Don't blame you !!!

I can understand having to restrict numbers and not inviting the kids of friends & extended family due to costs etc.

But to leave your own niece or nephew out of the invite................