We'd like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum... Read More »
We're aware that some users are experiencing technical issues which the team are working to resolve. See the Community Noticeboard for more info. Thank you for your patience.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Wedding list: They have asked for money
Options
Comments
-
I guess this is where custom and the modern day are now are at odds each other - before the days of couples setting up home and then getting married, wedding gifts must have been very welcome - anybody remember having a bottom drawer????
I still think its very cheeky to ask to pay for a honeymoon - I wonder how many couples have decided on a more expensive one because of this new trend?2014 Target;
To overpay CC by £1,000.
Overpayment to date : £310
2nd Purse Challenge:
£15.88 saved to date0 -
i ignore those kind of requests and buy a gift anyway !!
i don't mind, they could give it to charity if they don't like it !
my best friend is getting married this year though and i have offered to buy some champagne to put on the tables as a gift as they are doing it on a tight budget ..
as for the no kids, well i would of course respect that ... but to me , whats a wedding without the kids ??
yes, they are not perfect and may make a noise ( my dd farted once during the church service of a close friend ) but to me it just wouldn't be the same without the kids dancing with the grandads and uncles, and seeing them all in their nice clothes etc
imo too many people expect things to be 'perfect' , well life aint perfect , your marraige won't be perfect , cos nobody is.. so if i get married i want all my imperfect friends and family with their kids to be there£608.98
£80
£1288.99
£85.90
£154.980 -
thatgirlsam wrote: »
as for the no kids, well i would of course respect that ... but to me , whats a wedding without the kids ??
A cheaper wedding.0 -
thatgirlsam wrote: »( my dd farted once during the church service of a close friend )
Omg that has bought a smile to my face
I don't think I would be offended if I got an invite with no kids allowed. It's just the way the OP's invite was worded.
Although if it was a family wedding and my parents were attending then I would be stuffed for a sitter. (MIL is a complete dragon and won't sit for us anyway).Striving to clear the mortgage before it finishes in Dec 2028 - amount currently owed - £26,322.670 -
A cheaper wedding.
yep, thats the bit i understand ..
the rest of it , like the kids being in the way / making a noise , thats the bit i don't get
but still, each to their own , as its not likely that i will get married i probably shouldn't be on this thread anyway..
apparantley a single woman over 35 has more chance of being blown up by a terrorist than getting married ...£608.98
£80
£1288.99
£85.90
£154.980 -
Abbafan1972 wrote: »Omg that has bought a smile to my face
I don't think I would be offended if I got an invite with no kids allowed. It's just the way the OP's invite was worded.
Although if it was a family wedding and my parents were attending then I would be stuffed for a sitter. (MIL is a complete dragon and won't sit for us anyway).
well i was mortified :eek:
she was 5 years old
afterwards my friend who was getting married came up and gave us both a big hug ..
he loves my daughter .. he loves me , so to him it was hilarious ..
wouldn't be to everyone though , would it :eek:£608.98
£80
£1288.99
£85.90
£154.980 -
Haven't read all the way through the thread, but if the couple "already has everything they want", I think a nice thing to do would have been to suggest that people don't have to give anything, but if they do really want to give a gift, they could buy a "Good Gift" (http://www.goodgifts.org/) or make a donation to a chosen charity or something similar. This is what some of our friends did at a recent wedding and I thought it was a lovely thing to do. If you do go, OP, perhaps you could do this for them instead?
I expect the "no kids" thing was meant to be funny, but it came across very poorly and they should have thought twice before sending that. Most people are aware that the tone of the written word is often difficult to interpret.0 -
Is it bad to hope they get at least triplets at their first attempt at conception :rotfl: My nephew was one of the stars of our wedding!
My husband and I were late starters at the marriage thing, and already had a fully equipped home. We asked for euros towards our honeymoon, or vouchers for a local shop that does Denby dinnerware. Some people did, and some people bought us other things.
Our honeymoon was all the better for the excursions that we wouldn't have been able to afford if people hadn't been so kind. Likewise, every time I look at my Denby dinner service, I'm reminded of my wedding. Sadly, my husband died in October, but thanks to the generosity of our wedding guests, I have all of those extra things to remember.
When my SIL was married, she asked for the same, and knowing she had 3 children and had lived with her bf for some time, we were happy to write a cheque.0 -
Like others I'm shocked at such a rude invite!
I got married last year and we decided on no children. We didn't tell anyone specifically, however all the invites were invited to 'Mr and Mrs Bloggs', to me if it didn't say the childrens names on the invite then I wouldn't assume they were invited. We only had one couple (husbands cousins) who assumed their kids were invited, but when they mentioned it to my mother in law she politely told them there were no children. It's not the fact that they're not wanting any children there, it's the way they've worded it.
As for asking for cash, again, it's the way they've worded it. As many other posters have said it's quite common for couples to ask for cash these days, however there is a better way of going about it! We didn't ask for any gifts, had no gift list anywhere and if people asked we said no need for presents but if they insisted we just said it was their choice.0 -
Again - people go on with this line "children make the wedding" and the annecdote about how someone's kid completely upstaged the best man's speech - do people not see something very very wrong with this? This was the best man, the guy the bride and groom had picked to be a key role in their day... and someone's child essentially played up throughout it - whether you like the person or not, whether they're a natural public speaker or not... that's not really on for your kid to run in and upstage it all and not everyone there will find your child as endearing or as cute as you do (again I go back to my cat/dog analogy where I might adore my furball but I accept other people feel really uneasy around them or just can't relate to them).
Kids don't "make" the wedding - if kids make the wedding as opposed to the bride and groom there's something very very wrong. You have to accept that your idea of a wedding will be different to that of other people - heck look in the weddings forum to see that clearly - and there isn't a "wedding manual 101" way to do things these days which rules that the dress MUST be white (I'm getting married in purple btw), kids MUST be running around the dance floor, and the best man MUST try to bonk at least one of the bridesmaids (I think Mrs Best-Man would kill him first). What is your idea of wedding heaven might be my idea of wedding hell (I've banned sugared almonds and pastel colours from mine!) and it's incredibly selfish to try to force your own issues onto the couple in question.
Yes sometimes people do lose all sense of perspective with weddings and we end up with bridezillas etc - and yes, it can bring out people's worse tendencies - but at the same time, it's their party and they'll cry if they want to - or whatever. If they want a million and one kiddies - then that's their choice, if they want to just invite adults - that's their choice and you either accept or decline your invite - but armtwisting, trying to force people to accommodate your life choices and the like and all this pathetic judging and finger waggling because their idea of a wedding isn't your idea of a wedding isn't really on to be honest.
And yes, it IS the couple in question (and their immediate family generally)'s day... quite why that's a bad thing is beyond me. We invite the people we want to share it with (with the usual few people we HAVE to invite for a quiet life) - I'm not inviting people for shiny presents or cash - just those we want to have there (thankfully neither of us have massive families of distant relatives we never see who we're obliged to invite). For presents - I've done absolutely nowt - no gift lists, no requests for money - if people want to... it's their choice. My brother and his girlfriend are just out of uni - so skint recovering-students... instead of even thinking about getting themselves even skinter - my brother's doing our photos since he has all the camera kit and a talent for it (not as good as his big sister of course!) and his girlfriend's a fabby cake maker doing all those gimmicky cakes that look like whatever - so she's making us a cake - I have no idea what it'll look like, she has "something in mind" but I suspect a three legged cat is going to feature on it somewhere along the line (the cat hasn't yet found out we've not managed to make the entire day revolve around her like this house, the solar system and the entire universe does... in her furry little mind)! Might not be a conventional wedding - but it'll be OURs!Little miracle born April 2012, 33 weeks gestation and a little toughie!0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

Categories
- All Categories
- 350.9K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 453.5K Spending & Discounts
- 243.9K Work, Benefits & Business
- 598.8K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 176.9K Life & Family
- 257.2K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards