Wedding list: They have asked for money

*Louise*

andrealm wrote: »

Personally I think having a gift list or asking for gift vouchers to use for a honeymoon are fine but I wouldn't ask for money myself. I'm curious, if people ask for money and don't want any household items or to use for a honeymoon, what do they use the money for?

That's a whole new thread I reckon

Surely people always need stuff for their homes?

Personally, our wedding money was spent on a dining table/chairs and spending money for our honeymoon. Don't know what else it could have went on bar house or honeymoon tbh.

puffinmuffin

I have never had an invite which asked for money outright, more for "honeymoon pots" I don't mind at all contributing to this, i think the experience and memories of a honeymoon are worth more than household stuff.

Idiophreak

Person_one wrote: »

If all you want is for them to celebrate with you then why mention cash/gifts at all? This sounds like you want them to come and celebrate with you but you'd also quite like a bit of their cash too please!

I have to admit, I hate these poems with a passion, they're all so cutesy wutesy and sickly whilst basically being a begging letter. If you'd prefer cash over gifts, tell your parents or your bridesmaids in passing and they'll spread the word, and if people approach to ask what you want then you can safely answer because you aren't ASSUMING that they will automatically want to give you stuff just because you're entering into a new contract.

Poem says "if", that's not ASSUMING anything...

Personally, as I said, I'd be a bit narked if I got an invite that gave no clues as to what I should get them...sure, I could call their parents or a bridesmaid (if I know them) and ask, but why should I have to?

Is it rude for them to tell you when and where to be, too? Should you have to ring up to find the date and venue?

How about a map or directions? are they ASSUMING you won't know the way? that's fairly rude, isn't it?...you might know the area intimately, for all they know.

The invite's got to give people all the info they'll want to know - and these days a gift list / request for money falls well within that category..

MrsE_2

thatgirlsam wrote: »

becuase i like to give a gift, not money !

i think asking for money is rude ..but thats only my opinion .. i do not expect everyone to share it

But would you rather give them something they didn't need or want & might not have the space to store.

You actually have the cash, but you will exchange it for something they don't want & give them that instead:undecided

andrealm

*Louise* wrote: »

That's a whole new thread I reckon

Surely people always need stuff for their homes?

Personally, our wedding money was spent on a dining table/chairs and spending money for our honeymoon. Don't know what else it could have went on bar house or honeymoon tbh.

Fair enough, just I thought a few people had mentioned couples asking for money as they had everything they needed for their house. Seems strange to me too, we'd lived together for a while before we got married but there was still plenty of stuff that we wanted for the house.

Person_one

Idiophreak wrote: »

Poem says "if", that's not ASSUMING anything...

Personally, as I said, I'd be a bit narked if I got an invite that gave no clues as to what I should get them...sure, I could call their parents or a bridesmaid (if I know them) and ask, but why should I have to?

Is it rude for them to tell you when and where to be, too? Should you have to ring up to find the date and venue?

How about a map or directions? are they ASSUMING you won't know the way? that's fairly rude, isn't it?...you might know the area intimately, for all they know.

The invite's got to give people all the info they'll want to know - and these days a gift list / request for money falls well within that category..

Ok, look at it from another angle, people in this country generally give gifts at birthdays too. Imagine if you got a text from someone saying "Hey, I've booked a private room in a bar for my 30th on Saturday, its from 9pm - 2am and I'd like either new GHDs or the cash, thanks."

Why is it only ok for a wedding?

onlyroz

When I got married we didn't ask for anything in particular - and everyone got stressed with us because we *didn't* have a wedding list.

JBD

Person_one wrote: »

Ok, look at it from another angle, people in this country generally give gifts at birthdays too. Imagine if you got a text from someone saying "Hey, I've booked a private room in a bar for my 30th on Saturday, its from 9pm - 2am and I'd like either new GHDs or the cash, thanks."

Why is it only ok for a wedding?

I think the assumption is that everyone gives a wedding gift and it just makes it more straightforward. Personally I have always given a wedding gift [usually money]but I wouldn't neccesarily give an adult a birthday present. I would probably just give them a card unless it was someone who I would already have given a gift too. Personally I would prefer it to be written in straight English on an invitation rather than in a poem, and in terms that do not appear to be demanding, obviously.

morocha

that is a very rude invitation :eek:
When OH and I got married, we had a wedding list and vouchers were welcome, people came along, we ended up with so many presents the room was full and in almost every card there was a bit of money, i think around £800 in total, people do not want you to tell them, give me money, they want to choose a nice gift and put "something" towards your wedding aswell... i honestly think this give us money thing is rude. It is your wedding, yes, but are you trying to make money too ?
As you can tell i am not from the UK, but where i come from you buy a really nice gift, the best you can afford, and give something towards the cost of the party that we all enjoyed.

andrealm

Also people tend to spend a bit more on wedding presents than birthday presents which tend to just be token gifts. I would rather buy from a list and know I was getting them something they wanted rather than buy an unwanted gift. If there isn't a list and tend to give vouchers for somewhere like Debenhams.