Dealing with aged parents

[Deleted User]

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

Three posts Paul, I hope I made you think, try to empathise a little more.

You just confirmed to me what I've always known about this forum. That whatever you post theres always someone who seems to get a kick out of having a go and criticising.

[Deleted User]

Update on the situation now.

He still having problems with his teeth. Been back to his dentist a further 3 times complaining. Each time the dentist has told him the infection has gone, its healing nicely, pain is to be expected for a short time, and that he just needs to take painkillers.

Sounds like the dentist has had enough, because hes now told him to visit the local dental hospital if hes not happy. No referral just told him to turn up at 8am.

I did try to tell him that it would be pointless and that his dentist had checked him out many times and given him a diagnosis. I tried to explain that he had said about the hospital because he was getting nowhere with him.

Regardless, he got someone to give him a lift there. Dentist there said exactly the same thing. (and he was probably a student dentist, less qualified that my dads normal dentist, because its a university dental hospital).

Also, I found out last night hes been back to his GP twice complaining about his teeth !!!!

So, so far, his teeth have prompted about 10 dentist visits, 1 dental hospital visit, 2 GP visits, 2 out of hours emergency GP visits, and one emergency appt at dental hospital.

He just doesnt seem to understand that he needs to listen to what the professionals say, and that they cant wave a magic wand and sometimes he needs to be patient and wait for things to heal.

Spoke to him last night and hes still not happy !!!!

I'm just concerned at the moment that mentally hes letting this get to him a bit too much. Also, I'm sure his GP and dentist are completely sick of him by now, and I dont want him to end up on a blacklist or something.

Also, theres the danger that when hes really ill, no-ones going to believe him because of all these times hes 'cried wolf'.

Errata

There is no 'blacklist or something'. Given the father's age and alleged significant change in personality it may be sensible for him to continue to see his doctor. There may be something other than the problems with his teeth that has caused it.

ClareEmily

Hi there

Only your dad will know how much pain and discomfort he is in, maybe worth taking his word for it for now, and make an appointment with a orofacial pain specialist or neurologist, maybe when they removed his teeth they caused damage to his nerves.

Just a suggestion.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Dental-Health/PLS-PLS-Help-Severe-Pain-in-teeth--cheek--eye/show/927611

[Deleted User]

Errata wrote: »

There is no 'blacklist or something'. Given the father's age and alleged significant change in personality it may be sensible for him to continue to see his doctor. There may be something other than the problems with his teeth that has caused it.

Yes there definitely is. At least for the emergency services there is - my wife used to work for the ambulance service.

Also, its not unknown for GPs to remove patients from their list if they feel they're abusing the service for whatever reason. In these days of budgets, GPs cant afford to treat patients who place an unreasonable demand on them.

[Deleted User]

ClareEmily wrote: »

Hi there

Only your dad will know how much pain and discomfort he is in, maybe worth taking his word for it for now, and make an appointment with a orofacial pain specialist or neurologist, maybe when they removed his teeth they caused damage to his nerves.

Just a suggestion.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Dental-Health/PLS-PLS-Help-Severe-Pain-in-teeth--cheek--eye/show/927611

Yes, and its been checked out by his dentist x no of times and now by the dentist in the hospital. I'm sure one of them would have considered this.

However, based on past experience, hes never happy with ANY medical problem he has. Its back to the old 'cry wolf' thing - he does it every time hes even slightly ill, so how do I know when he really is ill?

margaretclare

If I remember correctly, angina (heart pain) can be referred to the jaw. Could this be the problem?

suki1964

[quote=[Deleted User];29199445]Perhaps you should read my original thread again. My post was about the problem I'm having with my fathers percieved illnesses and the problems it is causing.

Not once have I asked whether anyone think I should do more. In fact, I'm not interested in anyones opinion on this. If you've got a suggestion for helping me sort out this problem then please post, otherwise mind your own business.[/QUOTE]

If you dont want peoples opinion - then dont post on a public forum - SIMPLE

margaretclare

Paul, I suggested that possibly the pain your Dad is experiencing might not be his teeth at all, but - just an idea - it may be referred angina pain. Trying to help, not expressing opinions!!

bestpud

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

bestpud, would your fil accept it if the GP suggested he saw a counsellor, or 'someone to talk things over with?'

Because that might help.

I'm not sure tbh.

I think it would definitely help to have someone show him him how to relax when he starts getting worried iyswim but I don't know how he'd see that.

My suspicion is he will try anything if he thinks it has a good chance of helping.

The GP thinks a lot of his problems are psychological, as we do, so he has some meds to help him sleep. He apparently stayed in bed all night last night so that's a step in the right direction at least.

It's difficult as his concerns are obviously real for him...:(

Sorry OP, I seem to be hijacking your thread!