Future Ex Cuts Off All Financial Support

MrsAnnie

snowy63 wrote: »

Thanks Ras, I have a good network of friends who are there emotionally for me and with the odd glass of wine (had decided to go teetoal in Jan but proving a bit difficult for obvious reasons!) I'd decided today that I was going to go through the 'dumping grounds' of our house to see what I can get sold on ebay, also going to start a collection for car booting once the weather has improved. I didn't realise what a reponse this would get, I'm totally bemused by some of the replies. I'm totally on the job front, have called a few care homes this afternoon on the strength of the replies on here, no go but one has a vacancy for a part time office administrator which I've applied for (they want excel, I don't have it), fingers crossed. I'd do practically anything, especially as it means I'll get out of the house and be with other people. I can go a whole week and only visit the supermarket!! Anyway, sounds like I'm feeling sorry for myself again so I'll sign off, thanks again to all of you kind, supportive people out there, just knowing someone has something positive to say makes me feel better.

Is there a community centre/college near you that offers free computer courses? Will get you out of the house and enhance your skills. And you could probably fit it around a part time job.

thorsoak

Oh dear - you have been dropped very nastily, haven't you?

But, as Lilacbabe says, you WILL survive - your true friends will stick by you.

First of all, find a good divorce solicitor - take with you as many of your husband's financial details as you possibly can ...let the solicitor work out from there exactly what you are and are not entitled to - from what you have put, he will have a nice pension fund accruing .... because you gave up your career to "look after" him and his house I think youwill find that you are entitled to a nice chunk of that!

Do you want to stay in the house? Would it not be more sensible for you and your 16 year old son to move into somewhere of the same standard but smaller - still in the area of your son's school?

Good luck with the job hunting - as the others have said, look at doing anything for the time being - I'm not being funny here when I ask have you considered cleaning? Its paying good money (and it would so humiliate your husband ) and would be no more than you are doing in your own home.

Be brave - be strong - you can do it!

snowy63

Fortunately, I have good typing and office skills from when I worked in PR (started as a PA), a lot of the jobs want Powerpoint, some Excel, so that's what I thought, must get back to an adult evening class and pick these skills up which will help me out in the long run once I've got myself together and back on my feet.

RAS

If you sign on for JSA, you may be able to get a day class or two that do the same at no cost.

snowy63

Have a solicitor on the case as qualify for Legal Aid. Husband always spent as he went along and said the house would be our pension so no pensions in place. And you know what, I CAN'T WAIT to live in a smaller house, big enough for me and my son, which will need a fraction of the attention that the one I live in now requires. My objective is to move to where my son's school friends live, a nice 2 up, 2 down would be perfect, these are the thoughts that keep me going. Thanks for your msg.

MrsAnnie

snowy63 wrote: »

Have a solicitor on the case as qualify for Legal Aid. Husband always spent as he went along and said the house would be our pension so no pensions in place. And you know what, I CAN'T WAIT to live in a smaller house, big enough for me and my son, which will need a fraction of the attention that the one I live in now requires. My objective is to move to where my son's school friends live, a nice 2 up, 2 down would be perfect, these are the thoughts that keep me going. Thanks for your msg.

Does your husband really have no pension, state or private? I find this hard to believe! I think he may be taking you for a ride on this one. He is probably just telling you that because he probably is aware that you can try to claim part of his pension. You need to find out as much as you can about the financial affairs of the marriage.

alleycat`

Hi Snowy,

If you have some time on a computer to yourself:-

http://www.educationonlineforcomputers.com/blogs/post/microsoft_office_training_tutorial/684/free-book-teach-yourself-office-2003-in-24-hours

It is a bit clunky to use / read through.
It also assumes to have a copy of office 2003 or older/newer version.

Don't want to comment on the rest as i'm not sure i have anything currently constructive to add.

Good luck.

ninky_2

snowy63 wrote: »

It just seems grossly unfair that with one fell swoop, because I dedicated my life to running the home and bringing up my children (one has left home now), he should be able to punish me by withdrawing all my personal financial access thus confining me to the home under his dictatorship whilst our divorce ensues.

just putting an alternative point of view that with one fell swoop you have removed his access to having a wife/marriage that he has presumably dedicated as many years of his life to as you have to running the home and bringing up the children. if the boot was on the other foot (i.e. he was divorcing you), would you happily continue running the home for him?

i've supported my husband finanancially but if he divorced me i can't imagine i would continue to do so. in fact i know i wouldn't. if i were to divorce him i might be a bit more sympathetic with my finances (depending on reason). that said, i'm pretty sure we won't ever get divorced as we're both happy with the marriage.

Caroline73_2

snowy63 wrote: »

Thanks Ras, I have a good network of friends who are there emotionally for me and with the odd glass of wine (had decided to go teetoal in Jan but proving a bit difficult for obvious reasons!) I'd decided today that I was going to go through the 'dumping grounds' of our house to see what I can get sold on ebay, also going to start a collection for car booting once the weather has improved. I didn't realise what a reponse this would get, I'm totally bemused by some of the replies. I'm totally on the job front, have called a few care homes this afternoon on the strength of the replies on here, no go but one has a vacancy for a part time office administrator which I've applied for (they want excel, I don't have it), fingers crossed. I'd do practically anything, especially as it means I'll get out of the house and be with other people. I can go a whole week and only visit the supermarket!! Anyway, sounds like I'm feeling sorry for myself again so I'll sign off, thanks again to all of you kind, supportive people out there, just knowing someone has something positive to say makes me feel better.

You will have by interview, get your son to teach you.

muffintop

Ask your solicitor ASAP about maintenance pending suit. You have had a long marriage and he expected you to give up work so that you could keep house. He has a duty to maintain you and to do so to the standard which you are used to (as long as he can afford it, but that is for him to disprove). If you used to receive £1k a month, there is no reason at this stage why that should not continue pending sorting out the finances of your marriage.