Future Ex Cuts Off All Financial Support

MrsE_2

snowy63 wrote: »

Hi everyone, thanks for most of your comments. My direct debits are £40 for contact lenses, £56.30 for an endowment which is attached to my retired parents' home and, which most of you will consider a luxury, £35 for a gym which keeps me completely sane. I can't put clothes etc on food bill as it is scrutinised. He was most insistent that I gave up work as he has no interest in bringing up children, cooking, cleaning, etc etc. That was what my allowance was for. Yes, it was an extraordinary amount of money and I don't expect that. My husband runs his own business and has a large income, we live in a huge 4 bedroom detached property etc etc. None of this is any good to me tho, the material side has been enjoyable but never essential. I had to borrow money from a friend to pay for my monthly prescription. My son has school dinners, he also wants a pound here and there when he goes out with his mates. Anyway, some of you get where I am, some of you don't. It just seems grossly unfair that with one fell swoop, because I dedicated my life to running the home and bringing up my children (one has left home now), he should be able to punish me by withdrawing all my personal financial access thus confining me to the home under his dictatorship whilst our divorce ensues. This, I'm told is likely to take the best part of 2010. Congratulations to all of you who can survive on £20 a week, I guess by the end of this period of my life, I'll know how to do that too.

Go for half;):D
Get a good solictor;)

thorsoak

snowy63 wrote: »

I want to send out massive thanks to all of you who replied to my thread, even the negative ones cos at least you made me feel like I'm a much better person than you, so a positive there! However, not only yr advice, but your support and understanding, gave me such a feeling of strength that I didn't have when I started this thread. I spent all of yesterday applying for dozens of jobs and am going to jsa etc on Monday. Wish I could reach out and thank each and everyone of you individually so I'll send you all a virtual hug and a virtual glass of red or white, whatever's your preference! Someone out there said I appear to be 'young enough'...thank you, thankyou, I'm 47 next month so, yeah, guess I am!! I'm going to do this and I'm going to get through it well, once again LOVE TO YOU ALL, THANKS XX

Glad to have been of support - just keep going - it will be tough but you can do it!

Just let us know how you are getting on - come back for a shoulder to cry on, or if you need a kick up the butt, we can adminster that too, if needs be:D - and you'll get excellent advice here too!

JoJoB

snowy, this is financial abuse by your husband and is classed as a type of domestic violence. Agree that womensaid are the best to ring for practical advice at the moment. If things become intolerable at home you should be able to get a place at a refuge. Expecting to live in this situation until the divorce comes through is asking a bit much! If he is behaving aggressively or violently then a restraining order will mean HE has to leave.

As regards benefits it may be worth getting a formal separation agreement drawn up to show that you are 2 separate households living under one roof.

ClootiesMum

I can't offer much advice - but stay strong.

Just a couple of wee things though - in one of the early posts you mentioned that the house & the bank acct was in his name. Do you have a bank acct only in your name? If not, I think you should get one asap - that way if you do get any benefits or funds then they will be paid directly to yourself, not via his acct.

Also, please get legal advice before you think about leaving the house, especially if it's not in your name. I realise that if there is any threat of violence this would not be an option, but don't shoot yourself in the foot by walking away from your share of the marital home

CM

snowy63

thorsoak wrote: »

Glad to have been of support - just keep going - it will be tough but you can do it!

Just let us know how you are getting on - come back for a shoulder to cry on, or if you need a kick up the butt, we can adminster that too, if needs be:D - and you'll get excellent advice here too!

Ha ha ha ha ha, hilarious, thanks! I'm sure a kick up the butt will ensue!

mackemdave

ClootiesMum wrote: »

I can't offer much advice - but stay strong.

Just a couple of wee things though - in one of the early posts you mentioned that the house & the bank acct was in his name. Do you have a bank acct only in your name? If not, I think you should get one asap - that way if you do get any benefits or funds then they will be paid directly to yourself, not via his acct.

Also, please get legal advice before you think about leaving the house, especially if it's not in your name. I realise that if there is any threat of violence this would not be an option, but don't shoot yourself in the foot by walking away from your share of the marital home

CM

If they are married...even by walking away from the marital home doesnt mean that she is walking away from her share of the pot....I walked away...because of all the abuse... from a 20 odd yr marriage with two pillow cases of clothes but it didnt mean I walked away from my share of the marital home...at times needs must