Future Ex Cuts Off All Financial Support

snowy63

Firstly, apologies if this is long-winded, will try to be precise. Just started divorce with husband, he is very irate and, to punish/control me, he has cut off all my access to money. I'm a housewife and had a household credit card which I used for all household costs and for our son's needs. I was also given £1000 a month for my personal needs and direct debits. He cut all of this off in December when I called out the police because of his threatening behaviour. I now have my £80 child benefit per month to live on. He will pay for the weekly supermarket shop. I have no idea where to go for financial help, I'm miserable and depressed as is my son (16), any advice out there? Thanks in advance.

SORRY ABOUT THE FONT (1 COMPLAINT) THIS IS MY FIRST TIME AND WASN'T SURE WHAT I WAS DOING!

deedee71

Snowy you've come to the right place. There is a lot of help you can get, though a lot depends on whether your son is still in full time education. Call up and see what Tax Credits you can get. This will tide you over at least as surely your solicitor can give you some advice about getting maintenance?

snowy63

Son is sitting his GCSEs this year. My solicitor (under legal aid) is pursuing divorce and has asked him to reinstate my allowance but he's just ignoring it. By the way, forgot to say that we are STILL living under the same roof. Doesn't look like maintenance etc will be sorted for months, this is the only way my husband can punish me and it's working very well for him. DDs like my contact lenses will continue to be paid until I reach my overdraft limit which of course leaves me in debt..................big sigh!!!

98jdougl

phone up the jobcentre, should be able to get jsa until you manage to get a job, might get housing benefit etc check entitledto.com to see what you can claim

Penny35_2

So he is paying for the weekly shopping ss he paying 2 thirds (i.e. himself and your son) or all of it , is he paying bills and mortgage as well ?

Is it just your personal money he has stopped ?

If so he probably thinks as you are divorcing its time you earnt your own money. As your son is 16 you could go out to find a job.

snowy63

Yes, he's paying all the food bill and yes to mortgage and bills. I had a great job but he didn't want me to work as he doesn't do anything domestic at all, therefore, he was more comfortable giving me an allowance rather than I work. However, I have been looking for employment, I'm 46 and not proving easy, especially in this climate. My personal money is essential for everyday needs. I even have to ask him for my son's lunch money which he counts out in small change every day............ I'm not looking for a financial answer so that I can go out shopping and partying, I'm looking for finance for everyday essentials. A full-time job would be the perfect solution, my CV is out there as I write........

Penny35_2

A friend of mine was in a similar position and she took a job at a fast food shop whilst looking for a job she was previously experienced in.

Places like McDonalds, KFC, Fish and Chip Shops, and shops have a high staff turnover so you can often find vacancies there. May not be your ideal job or the best of pay. But it at least pays for your essentials. Whilst you ex is paying all food and household expenses you wont need to earn as high amount as you will once he goes.

Hope it sorts itself out for you.

floss2

snowy63 wrote: »

... I even have to ask him for my son's lunch money which he counts out in small change every day.......

Sorry to point out the obvious, but that is what child benefit is for - to help towards the cost of feeding / clothing your son.

Ring Tax Credits, ring CSA (or check their calculator online), ring your solicitor & tell him you will not be able to pay anything on the legal bills until the finances are sorted out.

In the meantime, contact all your local supermarkets, care agencies, cleaning agencies, check local Council website for all vacancies, and as others have said, look at all the fast food places for jobs.

Penny35_2

floss2 wrote: »

In the meantime, contact all your local supermarkets, care agencies, cleaning agencies, check local Council website for all vacancies, and as others have said, look at all the fast food places for jobs.

Care agencies is a good one they are always looking for people, even try your local care homes.

xmaslolly76

Can i ask if you are still living together are you still cooking cleaning washing that kind of thing for him? If so then stop it straight away!

Caroline73_2

No disrespect but he is paying all the bills, mortgage and food shopping.

Can you just clarify what other 'everyday needs' you have? Many people would be happy with £80 a month left over after paying bills, mortgage and food shopping.