Future Ex Cuts Off All Financial Support

snowy63

MrsAnnie wrote: »

I suggest (and I am not being sarcastic!) take the blighter for everything he has. DO NOT move out! Get a real good solicitor and fight for your share of all the martial assets.

Hop on over to the DFW, post your SOA and they may be able to give you some good advice on how to manage. Sounds like you are going to be skint for a while until a settlement is reached - I had a huge support from family when this happened to me. hopefully you will have family or friends to go to for both emtional and financial support

Good Luck!

Sorry to be ignorant, but first time on here, what do DFW and SOA stand for? I'm prepared for being skint just want a moderate amount of everyday money, £50 a week would be more than enough

snowy63

emlou2009 wrote: »

Why can your son not ask him for money directly if he wants it?

Most of the time when he needs a few pounds the husband is either out on a jolly or working. His hours usually continue until about 10pm, another factor in me having to give up work. He like to start late and work late in his office. My son has been asking but feels guilty, why must my son's normal lifestyle habits have to change because someone wants to punish ME! I keep having to say to him, ask your dad, ask your dad, it's wrong!

Caroline73_2

Apologies for coming down harsh but from first post to your last one you have clarified things a bit more. Also for accusing you of being a troll but I am cynical and there are so many on here.

Mortgage - is it joint or just in his name?
Call tax credits and tell them you are separated but live in same house and you will qualify for something.
Your son is 16 so could get a Saturday job for spends - if he is fed and clothed and loved then money for a big mac needs to be found from elsewhere!
Take everything you have that is worth anything (and important documentation) to a friend you can trust.
Fill in an SOA.

I'm confused why you pay an endowment on your parents home though?

Caroline73_2

snowy63 wrote: »

Most of the time when he needs a few pounds the husband is either out on a jolly or working. His hours usually continue until about 10pm, another factor in me having to give up work. He like to start late and work late in his office. My son has been asking but feels guilty, why must my son's normal lifestyle habits have to change because someone wants to punish ME! I keep having to say to him, ask your dad, ask your dad, it's wrong!

Your son is 16 and will understand. Say to him 'I gave up work to bring you up, now your father and I are divorcing I have no income until I find a job' It's truthful and not manipulative.

read Juliff's thread and see how she has progressed.

I do take issue with you 'having' to give up work. Surely you made that decision?

daska

DFW is the Debt-Free Wannabe forum on MSE. An SOA is a Statement of Accounts (?) about your income, expenditure etc. You might find people come up with some good ideas. The other specific place that you might get help is on Benefits and Tax-Credits and the Child Support forum which is part of that - people on there will be able to help identify what you might be eligible for in your personal circumstances.

Just a thought but have you seen a solicitor yet? If you have no access to funds they might be able to get you legal aid. And check with the CSA as to what you need to do in order to go through them for maintenance. It sounds as if he's going to fight for every farthing so you might need to use them anyway and the earlier you contact them the sooner he's liable.

carefullycautious

Edited and apologies to OP
Hope everything works out for you and no I dont reside in Smug towers but have experienced this with parents, I would now never rely on anyone elses finances.

Genuinely hope that you get a good result for all your hard work and trust

emlou2009

My auntie and uncle have been out of work for years (through no fault of their own, I may add) and my 18yo and 17yo cousins have never been in a position to ask for money for a mcdonalds. They arent scarred over it, they just use their EMA instead! And 17yo has a job as well.

Asking for £50 a week spends from a man you are no longer in a relationship seems a bit steep, IMO. But thats probably due to me actually being properly skint, I guess if you're used to having £1000 a month loose change £50 probably seems like nothing!

snowmaid

MrsAnnie wrote: »

I suggest (and I am not being sarcastic!) take the blighter for everything he has. DO NOT move out! Get a real good solicitor and fight for your share of all the martial assets.

Hop on over to the DFW, post your SOA and they may be able to give you some good advice on how to manage. Sounds like you are going to be skint for a while until a settlement is reached - I had a huge support from family when this happened to me. hopefully you will have family or friends to go to for both emtional and financial support

Good Luck!

I totally agree with this. Like someone else suggested, if he has stopped your allowance, which was for being a housewife, stop being a housewife immediately. Let him do his own washing, cooking, ironing etc. If you lawyer isn't doing anything, ask for another. But don't allow this slime to continue emotionally and financially blackmailing you. :mad:

snowmaid

Caroline73 wrote: »

Your son is 16 and will understand. Say to him 'I gave up work to bring you up, now your father and I are divorcing I have no income until I find a job' It's truthful and not manipulative.

read Juliff's thread and see how she has progressed.

I do take issue with you 'having' to give up work. Surely you made that decision?

Depends in the way she was 'asked' and when? If they were newly married and in love and a girl is told, 'sweetheart', let me take care of you, you stay at home and raise our family and I will give you an allowance every month', to a lot of women, even working, the thought of playing 'happy family' and being at home to look after your family is very appealing and sounds ideal. I am not criticising, I am stating a fact as I would have loved the opportunity.

euronorris

Hi there Snowy!

As someone detailed above, DFW - is the debt free wannabee board. I know you may not have any debt at the moment, other than your overdraft, but it is a great place to find help on budgeting and surviving on very little money. We're a friendly bunch, I promise

An SOA is a statement of affairs. Here's a link: http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

Do you still have some glasses with an up to date prescription? If so, I would ditch the contacts and go back to glasses as this will save you a small fortune.

Does the ex OH give you money for the weekly food shop? If so, it would worth while checking out the old style cooking threads to see where you can save. You can then use the saved pennies to pay for some essentials for you and your son.

Emotionally, I would suggest staying with friends and family at the moment. However, in terms of the divorce, I'm not sure that's a good idea. If you're really struggling at home, perhaps it would be worth discussing this option with your solicitor/lawyer (I'm not sure which is correct).

Good luck!