Future Ex Cuts Off All Financial Support

MrsAnnie

snowmaid wrote: »

What is it with people that an OP looks for advice they have to attack?

She had a good job, husband asked her to stop working so that he could have a cooked meal to come home to, he agreed to pay her expenses by giving her £1000 a month. He is no longer providing this, her DD's haven't stopped, possibly from before she stopped working. She was asked to stop working, she didn't demand that her husband keep her.

She is looking for a job. In the meantime she still has expenses and for this is asking advice!

Unfortnately, although this is correct, her DDs are for non-essentials i.e. luxuries. All her essential bills are still getting paid by her ex. IMO, the only advice would be to cancel her DDs.

Now if she came on and said he had disconnected her electrics (which my ex tried to do to me, only found out because the company called me to prewarn me) then there are measures she can take.

But with lifes luxuries she has little recourse. unfortuantely, she is getting divorced and this is what divorce is all about for so many of us - a drop in the standard of living. Is it fair? No! But I doubt she will get much sympathy on this forum for her disposable income going down by £1000 pcm.

daska

Caroline73 wrote: »

Packed lunches included in food shopping, and then CB to cover bus fare. What else does OP need money for?

:rolleyes:

if the boy is 16 then he'll likely be getting through shoes at an incredible rate, he'll be used to a certain standard of living as well but there's no mention of the ex taking on that spending, any contract the OP was in before the allowance was withdrawn (she's already mentioned contact lenses, that can be a year's contract) - hows that for starters?

daska

MrsAnnie wrote: »

All her essential bills are still getting paid by her ex. IMO, the only advice would be to cancel her DDs.

That might not be an option.

snowmaid

MrsAnnie wrote: »

Unfortnately, although this is correct, her DDs are for non-essentials i.e. luxuries. All her essential bills are still getting paid by her ex. IMO, the only advice would be to cancel her DDs.

Now if she came on and said he had disconnected her electrics (which my ex tried to do to me, only found out because the company called me to prewarn me) then there are measures she can take.

But with lifes luxuries she has little recourse. unfortuantely, she is getting divorced and this is what divorce is all about for so many of us - a drop in the standard of living. Is it fair? No! But I doubt she will get much sympathy on this forum for her disposable income going down by £1000 pcm.

Of course adjustments need to be made, and unfortunately she is going to come out the worst in this relationship. She wasn't looking for sympathy, but advice. To have a go at her because she was used to a certain lifestyle is just ugly.

MrsAnnie

daska wrote: »

That might not be an option.

Why not? I thought any DD can usually be cancelled.

welshmoneylover

My advice is to get a job and never ever rely on a man for money again.

MrsAnnie

snowmaid wrote: »

Of course adjustments need to be made, and unfortunately she is going to come out the worst in this relationship. She wasn't looking for sympathy, but advice. To have a go at her because she was used to a certain lifestyle is just ugly.

I don't think anyone was having a go at her for having a certain lifestyle. Some people were just wondering what the £1000 was spent on, how being without it would impact her day to day living, so they could give an imformed reply.

£1000 is alot of disposable money, which ever way one looks at it.

lilac_lady

Snowy63, things will get better and you'll have a better life if your husband was the type where you had to call the police in. I had that scenario before I split from my ex and if you haven't been in that position please don't criticise someone who owes herself a better life, even if it's not such a rich one. Good luck to you Snowy.

daska

MrsAnnie wrote: »

Why not? I thought any DD can usually be cancelled.

OK, I thought I'd said enough in the previous post but let's spell it out... Of course you can cancel the DD, all you need to do is contact the bank and the supplier. End of problem? Well, possibly. But if you're signed up to a contract you still need to find the money to make the payments. So is stating that she just needs to cancel some DDs really good advice? Perhaps if you'd suggested that she contact the suppliers and cancel/reduce any contractual obligations to reduce her outgoings?

MrsAnnie

daska wrote: »

OK, I thought I'd said enough in the previous post but let's spell it out... Of course you can cancel the DD, all you need to do is contact the bank and the supplier. End of problem? Well, possibly. But if you're signed up to a contract you still need to find the money to make the payments. So is stating that she just needs to cancel some DDs really good advice? Perhaps if you'd suggested that she contact the suppliers and cancel/reduce any contractual obligations to reduce her outgoings?

That is what I meant when I said cancel DD, when done correctly both supplier and bank are contacted. Yes the payment will still be due, but the OP will not go overdrawn on her bank account and payment can be sorted out direstly through the supplier. Why keep DD in place when there is no money in the account?