I want to leave my OH but he owes me money

diable

As mentioned get your notice in for the flat and make sure that "YOU"get the deposit back.

Also who's car is it and if not yours are you insured to drive it as you could always "hide" it

belfastgirl23

Tell him you're pregnant, that way you'll get to keep the house my guess would be that all you'd see would be a pair of heels and the door closing...

Only joking but just to echo the others, you're making the right call. I know it will be really scary but you're just throwing good time after bad here, as well as good money after bad.

Please tell me you don't have any joint financial arrangements with this man? You need to make sure your own credit score etc are clear - it might be worht doing a check on experian just in case he has somehow obtained credit in your name...hopefully not but does no harm to be sure.

Lots of luck.

maggied_2

Good point by BG - go on a credit reference site and financially disassociate yourself from him. If you've had a joint account you will be linked and if he's defaulting payments then your credit score will be affected - could adversely affect your chances of renting another house through a letting agent.

Definitely move anything valuable and your paperwork to someone else's house if you can. Depending on the lease agreement you could give notice now - I know on my last one we had to give 2 calender months' notice.

Re possessions - you've got time to move things bit by bit - I know someone who moved almost all her stuff out under the nose of her husband of 30+ years without him noticing!

How reasonable do you think he would be if you said you were leaving early? Do you think he would default on the rent?

It would be worth lining up somewhere else to live now too. Could you afford to take on somewhere else before you get out of this place?

Also is the house through a letting agent? If so which account is the rent paid from? That's usually the account the deposit will be paid back to.

If I thikn of anything else I'll pop back on!

daska

You'll get a lot of help on the House Buying, Renting & Selling forum, there are professional landlords and tenants on there who know the rules inside out. TBH this is probably the most important bit to start with.

Then create a dummy life to hide behind while you sort out your affairs ready to leave - I love the idea of telling him he's about to be a dad, I'd also tell him you don't approve of mother's working so he'll have to bring more money in LOL

ceridwen

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Tell him you're pregnant, that way you'll get to keep the house my guess would be that all you'd see would be a pair of heels and the door closing...

Only joking but just to echo the others, you're making the right call. I know it will be really scary but you're just throwing good time after bad here, as well as good money after bad.

Please tell me you don't have any joint financial arrangements with this man? You need to make sure your own credit score etc are clear - it might be worht doing a check on experian just in case he has somehow obtained credit in your name...hopefully not but does no harm to be sure.

Lots of luck.

Well - you've had some good advice about safeguarding your finances from various posters - including this one.

Actually though....i know she was joking when she said "tell him you're pregnant". Whilst I thoroughly disapprove of pregnancies that arent joint decisions - in this particular case I see no reason not to SAY you are pregnant (as long as you arent actually IYSWIM). It may very well cause him to skedaddle as fast as his little legs will take him - and then no potential problems with the rental on the flat..:D

flossyblog

Hi ceridwen

Just wanted to say "many thanks" I check out your website quite alot.

I love the Todmorden incredible edible project, and guerilla gardening

ceridwen

Aw....shucks....thanks.

Thinks to self "Wheres Haarlem? Ah.....I see...Holland". Nice country....I like Holland...

diable

Instead of telling him your pregnant you can ask him about marriage and starting a family, get the wedding dress catalogues out................

euronorris

Sounds just like my ex too! Is there a breeding ground somewhere for these guys???? lol

I cut my losses and left. I knew the probability of getting any money back was very slim, and even if he did agree to pay, it would keep the lines of communication open, which I didn't want. I didn't want to give him anymore opportunities to manipulate me.

6 years on, 2 weeks after I moved country, he sends me a message on FB saying how sorry he is and that he's a w a nker (thanks dear, I'd already worked that one out! lol) etc etc. I didn't respond, I just deleted the message. Funny how he came over all apologetic when he learnt I had moved to a new country. I'm convinced he (wrongly) thinks I'm loaded now and was hoping I'd take him back, pay for him etc etc.

He can take a running jump!

euronorris

ceridwen wrote: »

Aw....shucks....thanks.

Thinks to self "Wheres Haarlem? Ah.....I see...Holland". Nice country....I like Holland...

Someone else lives in Haarlem??

Ah, I see, Flossyblog! Hello there neighbour!