URGENT Mother refusing to drop off son!

staceysteve

My fiance's ex is refusing drop off their son to him this afternoon at the agreed time.
He normally picks him up from school at 1:30, sometimes he does a sports club till 3:30 but on the weeks he doesn't and during school holidays (when he isn't with my fiance) he picks him up at 1:30.
Now all the schools are closed and so we should be picking him up at 1:30 but she is refusing to do so till 3:30 which mucks up our afternoon as we had plans with him.
What can we do?? We are so sick of this woman dictating what the little guy does especially as we have it in a solicitors letter that that's what time we pick up him and we know he will want to be with us asap!!

Curious_George_2

I understanding its frustrating for you and you may well think its all out of spite but a lot of things are running as little later than planned due to the snow, there must be a reason other than just being difficult as to why it cant be til 3.30?
at least your still going to have him and its only 2 hours. is it really that bad?

like it or not, shes his mother and therefore the very person who is allowed to dictate what he does??

sorry, i know this isnt the reply you probably wanted, but as there are a lot of dads out there that dont get to see their kids at all... maybe 2 hours late is better than nothing (bearing in mind of course that its not really "late" but because there is no school)

Noctu

Curious_George wrote: »

like it or not, shes his mother and therefore the very person who is allowed to dictate what he does??

And he's his father and (assuming he has been 100% involved in the poor little lad's life) therefore equally as able to dictate what he does?

Kandipandi

Can you not drive to her house to pick him up yourself and turn up at the door at 1.30? She may not make such fuss if the kid is there to see it.

staceysteve

Exactly he is a very active father, who wants to be more involved in his son's life but I think her power has gone her head majorly, she is refusing to drop him off citing the fact that he goes to the sports club as the reason?? Which doesn't make any sense at all!
We are thinking of going to her house but you can bet your a** she will make a drama, why is she doing this is first place if she doesn't love the causing drama??

Curious_George_2

Noctu wrote: »

And he's his father and (assuming he has been 100% involved in the poor little lad's life) therefore equally as able to dictate what he does?

not necessarily, we dont know the ins and outs here but even if OPs fiance is dad of the year the mother is clearly the "parent with care", meaning she has day to day control (for want of a better word)

the plans that OP speaks of cant be that big as the boy should have been at school til 3.30 anyway, i dont know about you but we are only finding out on a daily basis (at about 7am) wether our school is open or not, so OP and dad would not have had the boy til then if it wasnt for the snow,
there is no word about what the mum is doing with him til that time...

like i said, we dont know the ins and outs, the mum could be a royal pain in the backside for no reason other than the fact she can be....but...what if a thread appeared saying "schools off, i cant get time off work so my friend is looking after my son til 3.30 but his dad wants him at 1.30 and i just cant do it but his fiancee thinks im being a cow on purpose"
what answers would that get?

Steel_2

The other way of looking at this OP is that usually the mother wouldn't get to see her boy at all during the week as he would be at school and is enjoying his company today. If this is just a one off I really wouldn't inflame the situation. It sounds like there is an antagonised relationship with her.

How often does your fiance see his son? Does he pick him up every day?

How often does the mother cause problems?

3_cheeky_princesses

I know it is very frustrating for you but rather then cause a scene and give the Mum theu pper hand i would just not let her know its annoyed you and your fiance and just say " ok no problem" we will pick him at 3.30pm. I know it is not what you want and as your Fiance is a supportive and active Dad he has every right as the Mum has but if you go logger heads now and she does love the drama she may well do this on future visits.

staceysteve

Sorry Excuse me Curious George but what the hell do you know about when my stepson finishes school??
He finishes school at 1:30 on a Friday unique I know but that is how it is!
So before making judgements why not ask the questions??
And she's not at work.

I asked for help not judgement.

Steel_2

I've just had a look at another thread your did staceysteve and seen that you are considering trying to get joint residency as the lad has expressed a wish to see his father more often but his mother is refusing to allow him extra access to his father.

I'd do softly softly for now. Make your plans but don't wind her up for the moment. Start keeping a diary of these little occurances.

Curious_George_2

staceysteve wrote: »

Sorry Excuse me Curious George but what the hell do you know about when my stepson finishes school??
He finishes school at 1:30 on a Friday unique I know but that is how it is!
So before making judgements why not ask the questions??
And she's not at work.

I asked for help not judgement.

ohhh im sorry, didnt i give you the answer you wanted? :rolleyes:
YOU said he does a sports club til 3.30, YOU also said the mother has said hes doing this club til 3.30, THAT is how i got the idea he finished at that time, terribly sorry if i gt the facts mixed up while you were trying to get your hard done by point across...

im not making any judgements just stating that there may be a perfectly good reason why you cant have him til that time...
im sure your fiance's ex is a real pain on a regular basis... but seeing how quickly you fly off the handle when you dont get want you want i cant say im surprised!
why dont you chill out a little instead of stamping your feet, life doesnt have to be one long argument you know :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: