Relationship advice: my OH didn't defend me!!

viktory

This was an appalling situation to be in. I have thought about this long and hard (not that I think for a moment that what I say will make or break your relationship - you are clearly a strong person with a mind of your own) but I think it is disgusting that your BF didn't defend you. He should have defended you to the end and left the store minus the chairs. My DH would have committed murders if that had been me (well, perhaps not murders but you get my drift). Even though your BF hates confrontation there is no excuse for not defending you and helping. I think that this would have upset me far more than the morons that were abusing you in the queue.

If it were me I would be inclined to tell BF to take a walk. Seriously. But then, I am known for cutting off my nose to spite my face!

viktory

rchddap1 wrote:

Just a thought.....did you call out to your bf and ask him for help? I know you shouldn't have to, but I'm just curious.

In my opinion, it would have been worse to have to call out for help, rather than have it immediately offered.

slinks

Thanks hobo28, I really wanted a male opinion. Any males out there disagree so I can try and understand my OH a bit more??

As he was in the queue facing forwards, I don't think he was looking back to see if I was OK, and so I don't think he actually saw Vicky Pollard shove me into her mum. Everone nearby MUST have heard her say just before it happened tho, "... then I'll shove you!" so to me it's obvious that she pushed me into her mother. My OH was one person in front of me so I have no doubt he heard it.

I don't think in this situation I invited trouble but it was handed out on a plate for free anway.

I wish I'd thought at the time about moving my bloke back

slinks

$17mma wrote:

I have to agree

he didn't actually want any of the chairs and was in the queue to get them for others

slinks

Triker wrote:

Ok, just a thought, imagine all the horrible's (not including your boyfriend) stood in a line, with those 1p chairs shoved where the sun don't shine!!!!! Wanted to make you smile.

i just smiled for the first time today!!!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

$17mma

slinks wrote:

i just smiled for the first time today!!!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

ha ha ha made me laugh too!! ( sorry smileys or thanks button does not work for me at work) glad your smilin slinks

slinks

Thanks for the reply viktory.

I needed reassurance from others that I'm not over-reacting about him not defending me. At the moment, because we haven't spoken, I assume he thinks I'm silent because he didn't comfort me while I was sobbing in the queue. He's probably silent with me for being silent with him!! I should tell him before this goes too far

I didn't want the chairs at the end of the day and stupidly only ended up getting them because if I hadn't then the crazy muthas would have 'won'!! I stood in the queue thinking "Sod it. Leave the chairs. They're tainted now anyway" lol but then realised that would be me cutting off my nose and losing something I'd gone through all that cr*p for!!! I had, after all, gone to IKEA to get a bargain...

My OH didn't really want the chairs, especially as he had been up all night working and then was in this rotten queue for 2 hours. I guess he picked up his lot of 6 for me, which I can understand. He isn't one to cut off his nose, that's my job

slinks

viktory wrote:

In my opinion, it would have been worse to have to call out for help, rather than have it immediately offered.

I'm thinking now maybe I shouldn't have just expected it... Even though the majority rules on this topic, everyone's different and indeed it seems my OH didn't think it expected.

I don't want to lose him over this. I just don't know if I can ever understand it.

slinks

$17mma wrote:

ha ha ha made me laugh too!! ( sorry smileys or thanks button does not work for me at work) glad your smilin slinks

Well it worked so now I'm sat here imagining them with 1p chairs stuffed in all their orifices too!!!

Have to stop smiling now and work out how to sort this out...

Eek.

ChrissieI

slinks wrote:

My boyfriend said nothing and went to collect his chairs.

I'm sorry but this line made me laugh so much I can picture him ignoring the chaos going on around him while he calmly picked up his chairs.
If I was you I wouldn't talk to him but I would go and break his chairs into tiny pieces.:rotfl:
But joking aside it must have been upsetting for you. He should have (IMO) gone to stand further back with you and put his arm around you to protect you. This would have at least shown the other women that he was on your side and might have stopped it getting out of hand. He should also have spoken to the store staff who were treating you badly. You need to either stay with him and know in future you will have to fight your own battles or you will have to leave him and find someone who will stand up for you. Only you can decide which you want to do.