Some advice please, what would you do?

busiscoming2

Personally I think Jojo is just saying what has probably gone through most of our minds. Sorry if I'm wrong, but that was my first thought.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

cheepskate wrote: »

Please JoJo could you edit your post a little, a bit harsh to the O.P who is in a difficult position at the moment

I'm sorry, but I won't. It'll be a heck of a lot harsher for her if he is one of the unfortunate ones who is this ill. I don't want to read about them in the paper tomorrow.

She's letting him down as well as her children by doing nothing.

He may not believe it but he needs her to take a stand. Just like her children do.

Extremely ill people can do extremely unpleasant things. Fact. Not every time. But sometimes they do. And one tragedy is one too many.

Pretending it'll go away or that he's just a common or garden wife beater (which he isn't, he's a man suffering from what sounds to be an uncontrolled severe mental illness) won't change the fact that he needs help and the safety of the OP and her children is an issue until such time as his illness is well controlled again.

cheepskate_2

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I'm sorry, but I won't. It'll be a heck of a lot harsher for her if he is one of the unfortunate ones who is this ill. I don't want to read about them in the paper tomorrow.

She's letting him down as well as her children by doing nothing.

He may not believe it but he needs her to take a stand. Just like her children do.

Extremely ill people can do extremely unpleasant things. Fact. Not every time. But sometimes they do. And one tragedy is one too many.

Pretending it'll go away or that he's just a common or garden wife beater (which he isn't, he's a man suffering from what sounds to be an uncontrolled severe mental illness) won't change the fact that he needs help and the safety of the OP and her children is an issue until such time as his illness is well controlled again.

Wasnt refering ot any of that bit, but

Quote: If you do nothing and he does lose all grip on reality, you are more culpable than him.

Or you might be lucky, he might murder an innocent stranger or kill himself instead, rather than you and your babies.:
That would be your fault too.Quote:

This is very harsh and so untrue

whitewing

I have read the thread and then gone back and read the first post again.

I agree with everyone else that you need to speak and speak and speak to doctors, nhs direct, charities etc until you can find someone who will listen to you and help you decide the best way forward for your family (including your husband).

daska

cheepskate wrote: »

Wasnt refering ot any of that bit, but

Quote: If you do nothing and he does lose all grip on reality, you are more culpable than him.

Or you might be lucky, he might murder an innocent stranger or kill himself instead, rather than you and your babies.:
That would be your fault too.Quote:

This is very harsh and so untrue

Agreed, it would be the fault of the illness and possibly any GP who didn't check his records and as a result gave inappropriate advice.

But if anyone came to harm as a result of his illness not being controlled, if necessary, then the OP might struggle with the knowledge that she could have influenced the outcome.

wannabe_sybil

OP - please keep posting so that we know you are okay.

paddy's_mum

Sorry but I think JoJo has a very valid point, even if it is a harsh one.

If you see a child walking unknowingly towards deadly quicksand, do you gently say 'oh do be careful dear' or do you scream at the top of your lungs 'STOP!'

Of course, if you are so callous that you do nothing whatever and the child dies, who is most at fault? The mother, who didn't keep a suficiently good eye on the child or you, who knew full well what the danger was but chose silence?

One is ignorance, one is wicked stupidity. There comes a point where you have to decide which you want to be, and why.

chickaroonee

Agree you need to get him urgent medical help, try his CMHT or the GP. You may have to be very persistent, but will get help eventually. You must do this for your children!

Rethink is a good site with advise on what to do in a crisis:
http://www.rethink.org/living_with_mental_illness/coping_in_a_crisis/index.html

BitterAndTwisted

Evian1 has logged off and I dearly hope to God that it's because she's on the phone.

tandraig

I agree with Jojo - in fact before I read her post I was thinking - my god, I hope I dont hear about a mother and two kids slain, on the news in the next few days!

has anyone here ever lived near a paranoid schizophrenic who wont take their meds? I have - and I can tell you its a terrifying sight to see someone totally out of control walking around with an axe looking for the 'evil one'. this happened when i was a child and it was a neighbours son who was lovely when he was taking his meds - but when he wasnt we could all tell! it culminated with the axe episode and he was sectioned.
so I am totally with Jojo on this - and hope she has shocked this woman into seeking safety for herself and her kids. this man (poor guy - I do feel for him too) is definately 'not himself' and is a danger to her, her kids and probably himself.