Some advice please, what would you do?

seven-day-weekend

I would like to say that I think your GP is totally useless. Marriage counselling??

I do think you should remove yourself and your children to a safe distance. As he is delusional and paranoid then who knows what his poor mind will tell him to do?

Then ring some organisation like MIND and ask where you can get help for your husband.

It does sound to me like he is not taking his medication. He needs help urgently.

Wishing you all well.

thorsoak

Evian - listen to all these people - believe me, you could well be in danger - and your children - more so because "he doesn't think they are his children".

Evian he is sick. He needs help - but more importantly, your children need YOUR HELP NOW. Please take them to your mother's - you will not be splitting your family up - once your husband has got the help he so obviously needs, he will recognise that you did what you had to do to keep the whole family safe from his illness.

Please treat this seriously. If you love him as much as you say you do, you will do it for him - even if at the moment, it isn't what he wants. He isn't well enough to know what his right for him.

jenhug

NHS direct, the local hospital, even the police (not 999) I'd be calling the lot! this is blooming serious!

busiscoming2

Totally agree with everything that has been said.

He is not acting 'normally', OK some men probably doubt they are the father, but how 'normal' is it to believe they have been swapped?

He thinks you don't really go to work, but rings you at your place of work - not 'normal' behaviour.

He needs help. You need to secure the safety of you and your children! How are you going to feel if he flips and harms the kids and how will they be left feeling if he hurts you??

Errata

OP - Given that eveeryone that's posted a reply has replied in more or less the same way all I can say is that if you don't seek urgent help for him you will be letting him down. I'm sure you wouldn't do that if he was laid out in the kitchen with a broken leg.
Please contact someone, GP, MIND, NHS Direct. If you're wrong about his problems then people will understand it's far better to be safe rather than sorry.

System

shellsuit wrote: »

What would I do?

Honestly?

I'd have him sectioned so he can get the help he needs.

If you truly care for him and your children, you will do this so he gets the attention he needs.

I'm going to second this. I have MH problems and if i was ever as ill that i was a danger to myself or others i would want to be sectioned. If you need to you can call the police as they can by law take someone to a place of safety for 72 hours to be aessed (under Section 135 and 136 of Mental Health Act known as a a Section 4)

mummy_Jay

Re-read your first post, then write down a list of what he's done. Look at it, read it through a few times then ask your self what he's likely to do next. As every day you leave this and make excuses for him, he will get worse and like evryone else on here I too feel you are not far from the point when either you or the children will be phyically harmed, he is already harming you mentally and I expect the children will already be suffering from that too.

You need to put your children and your safety first.

Move out to your mothers, leave him a note if you like explain you love him but he needs help, you want your husband back, give him a copy of the list of what he's been doing to read through, it may help him realise he needs help. Do it now, before long he will have ground you down so far, you wont have the strength to get out or protect your children.

aliasojo

evian1 wrote: »

And I do know that he would never ever hurt his children.

I believe the person you love would not hurt you or the children.

However his brain function has become erratic for whatever reason. Because of this, he has the potential to act completely outwith character.

You need to stop thinking along the lines of 'he'. This is not 'he' that is causing the concern, it's a malfunction that has caused changed thoughts/behaviour in the same way a broken leg would cause you to stop walking normally. His normal reasoning is not there just now, that's what you need to think about.

My Mother and Father were together for 40 years, she knew him inside out which is why she didn't quite believe the Doctor when he told her my Father's deteriorating mental health could possibly cause him to wait behind the door for her coming home one day, with an axe in his hand. He tried to get her and my Father to agree that he should be cared for elsewhere (his condition wasn't one that would respond to treatment) but it took nearly a year of 'incidents' and worry before she finally accepted the person who was acting in this way wasn't ever able to be reasoned with again.

You need to be careful OP, it's unfair to have your children in such a vulnerable position. And they are very vulnerable given they are part of the focus of his attention. It could be a very short hop from believing a child has been swapped and believing they have been deliberately placed with you to 'watch' him for example. He could lash out simply because his reality (whilst off the wall to the rest of us), is so real to him.

This could be all down to something simple like his meds needing adjusted but you can't leave this to go on. You must get him the help he needs now before this gets worse and he becomes even harder to treat. When someone has altered thinking, it does not just fix itself. Even if they do have good days too.

3_cheeky_princesses

Blimey :eek: I have no experience of Schizophenia but this sounds really serious and very scary for you, your children and your husband.

Your husband clearly needs you to be strong for him and get urgent medical help NOW before he does something he and you will regret. Even if that means him being sectioned. I am sure when he is well again he will totally understand when he is of rational thought. He obviously is having some form of a episode and what scares me the most is he believes the children are not his. This may leave it open to his conscious thinking this would be ok to do them harm or something :eek:

I think it is admirable that you are sticking by him but it is stupid not to get him medical help. As another poster said if he had been hit by a car for example and was bleeding you would phone an ambulance and this is exactly the same. A mental illness is just as serious as a physical one.

PLEASE PLEASE get help for him and get the children to a safe place like a relatives first! Tell your husband your are having a break so the children are staying at a relatives for a few days then tackle getting him help. I like the others dont want to be a alarmist but this from an outsiders point of view looks like is a tradegy waiting to happen

Wicked_witch

Aliasjo has a really good point.This is hard for you because you know that the way he is behaving is not the real him and that the good father and husband is still there underneath. But as long as his mental health remains unstable, that real person does not have any control over what happens and that is why, despite him being a good person you are still in a potentially dangerous situation.

You are so desperate you feel one of your only options is to ask advice from people you don't know over the internet and that is not a 'normal' situation. At the very least, let your children go and stay with nan or whoever for a couple of days while you continue to consider your options.