Now What Would You Do In This Position?

gorgeouslatinrose

That is awful! I really feel for you. Its really annoying me now, because my partner's dad had another daughter, while living in the middle east, and had to treat both children equally, both had to be sent to private school , and the fact he can get away with this is just aggitating! I will try and get some more information out of my other half tonight, as he may know how it worked in his situation. Be strong, as the above poster says, what goes around comes around!

SallyUK

Thank you Shellsuit and Gorgeouslatinrose

That's really kind of you, I'd appreciate it too.

Sal
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gorgeouslatinrose wrote: »

That is awful! I really feel for you. Its really annoying me now, because my partner's dad had another daughter, while living in the middle east, and had to treat both children equally, both had to be sent to private school , and the fact he can get away with this is just aggitating! I will try and get some more information out of my other half tonight, as he may know how it worked in his situation. Be strong, as the above poster says, what goes around comes around!

MissMoneypenny

RAS wrote: »

REMO applies to most states in the USA, so you could go for back -maintenance through REMO.

I think I read on the CSA board that REMO was through a court and not the CSA? Have you had a chance to go to the CSA board yet and ask the people there about this Sally? I did mention the CSA board before, but I know you have had a lot on.

Here is just one of the threads from there about someone using a REMO
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1809525

MissMoneypenny

SallyUK wrote: »

Found out this morning that his two little children, where he lives, both attend private school, and are taught to Oxford UK standards so that they get a good start in life (in his words) not mine,

I wonder what he's planning to do to ensure his other two in the UK have a good future, eh!

He makes me so mad.

Sal
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Perhaps this is just more of his stories? Remember what he has been saying about contact with your children.

MissMoneypenny

SallyUK wrote: »

I'll bring that REMO link to the attention of my lawyer, see what she says, although I would have thought she might have known about it

Sal
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It says on the REMO list that you don't need a solicitor to apply for a REMO as the court staff help you.

http://www.csa.gov.uk/en/case/remo.asp
How to apply

A UK resident who wishes to apply to obtain maintenance from a person overseas should approach

• their local magistrates' court (or county court where the order was made) if they have an existing court order for maintenance; or
• their local magistrates' court if there is no existing order

They may apply for their order to be enforced in the country where the payer resides. Procedures also exist to enable an applicant to ask the foreign authorities to create an order for maintenance on their behalf. There is no need for the applicant to engage a solicitor. Court staff will help the applicant and will forward the application to the relevant authority. The authority will check that the application is in order and send it to the foreign authority or court for registration and enforcement against the person living there.


The USA are on the REMO list, (excluding Alabama, Mississippi, South Caroddna and District of Columbia)
http://www.csa.gov.uk/en/case/remo.asp#S5

SallyUK

MorningMissmoneypenny

I'm sorry, I did miss you mentioning the CSA board before, I apologise for that.

Thank you for posting the REMO link too, I'll need to take a closer look t that soon.

I had another letter from lawyer yesterday, just reiterating the fact that it's going to be difficult for her to do much more after, and if, she gets him to sign the divorce papers - she suggested that the only thing she could do was to ask him to voluntarily pay some of the outstanding maintenance!

Can't see that happening!

Sal
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MissMoneypenny wrote: »

I think I read on the CSA board that REMO was through a court and not the CSA? Have you had a chance to go to the CSA board yet and ask the people there about this Sally? I did mention the CSA board before, but I know you have had a lot on.

Here is just one of the threads from there about someone using a REMO
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1809525

jackieglasgow

Are you absolutely 100% sure he's telling the truth to your friend, maybe he's a bit Walter Mitty?

clairehi

Dear OP,

This sounds like a minefield.

What do you want to happen?

Do you want a "fair share" for your kids financially? If so I think you need someone else to advise you than this lawyer - is she even aware of REMO and the issues discussed on this thread?

The fact he has changed his story about whether he is married to this other woman rings MAJOR alarm bells - he has something to hide.

What have you got to gain from a divorce right now? You have been managing without one all these years?

SallyUK wrote: »

I had another letter from lawyer yesterday, just reiterating the fact that it's going to be difficult for her to do much more after, and if, she gets him to sign the divorce papers -
Sal
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SallyUK

Hi Claire

Thanks for your reply.

I want for him to constribute something financially so that his children here in the UK can live comfortably, without me saying to them every 5 minutes, sorry, I can't afford that. It would be nice if he would contribute something so that they could both go on to university, which they'd both like to do. I'm not asking for the full amount of outstanding maintenance, which would be around £100.000 - but a token amount.

I'd like for him to stop lying about his kids (not likely to happen)

I'd like him to sign the divorce papers, and the other papers that need signing which would enable me to get the children's money out of their bank accounts - (they were initially set up in his name) and the banks won't give out anything without his signature. And of course I'd like to be divorced from him, so that I would at least have the chance to marry again, if I decided I wanted to.

There's a few documents that need his signature on them, and without that, I can't move on.

And finally, I'd like him to pay in some way for disappearing off the face of the earth 10 years ago and causing all the hasssle and hurt that he caused everyone.

Sal
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=clairehi;32357901]Dear OP,

This sounds like a minefield.

What do you want to happen?

Do you want a "fair share" for your kids financially? If so I think you need someone else to advise you than this lawyer - is she even aware of REMO and the issues discussed on this thread?

The fact he has changed his story about whether he is married to this other woman rings MAJOR alarm bells - he has something to hide.

What have you got to gain from a divorce right now? You have been managing without one all these years?[/QUOTE]

SallyUK

Hi Jackieglasgow

Yes, I am, I know he changed his mind from being married to not being married, but there is some other proof as well about where he's working etc.

Sal
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jackieglasgow wrote: »

Are you absolutely 100% sure he's telling the truth to your friend, maybe he's a bit Walter Mitty?