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Need some urgent advice

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  • shellsuit
    shellsuit Posts: 24,749 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Combo Breaker
    BARGAINHUNTER! wrote: »
    No not really. I have forgiven him for sleeping with his wife but he does not know that I know about their text messages. We had a lovely new year together but I could tell it killed him not being with his kids.


    How good of you! :eek::cool:

    I'll bow out of this now before I say something I shouldn't.
    Tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty...
  • emsywoo123
    emsywoo123 Posts: 5,440 Forumite
    BARGAINHUNTER! wrote: »
    I asked him where she slept and he said in his bed and then he finally admitted that they had had sex. He said that she was supposed to sleep in his little girls room but when they went upstairs her room was a mess with christmas presents etc so she got into his bed as they had both had too much to drink and were not thinking straight and had just had very emotional conversation. We do not live together.

    Good Lord how heartbreaking for you, you must have been worried enough about them spending that much time together at Xmas, with the emotion and alcohol etc.:o
    From personal experience, I would not be able to trust him again. Ever. He cheated on her, then he cheated on you. My suggestion would be to walk away with your head held high.
    But these are just words, easy to type, and you love him, so that will be nigh on impossible. If you are anything like me, there needs to be some sort of rock bottom situation, which I think you are not at, as you still have some hope.
    I really do wish you every luck :A
  • aliasojo
    aliasojo Posts: 23,053 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    shellsuit wrote: »
    She sounds like a decent woman IMO ~ if she were me, I wouldn't let you within 3' of my kids, seeing as it was you and Daddy who broke the family up.

    ............you have both deceived before (the affair), so don't start deceiving again.

    :confused:

    [STRIKE]Have I missed something? Maybe he had left before the OP got involved? [/STRIKE]:confused:

    Ignore me, I clearly did miss something, just reread. Sorry. :o
    Herman - MP for all! :)
  • BARGAINHUNTER!
    BARGAINHUNTER! Posts: 848 Forumite
    edited 23 March 2011 at 10:53PM
    post deleted
    MFW 2011 challenge - Aim: Overpay £414.26 a month/£5,000 a year. Overpayment Total to date: £414.26:jMortgage start 28/9/07 £46,217.00 :TMortgage balance as of 25/05/11 £24,490.58 :T
    Interest saved as of 25/05/11: £2,849.84 Projected term reduction as of 25/05/11: 9 years 11 months
  • Zazen999
    Zazen999 Posts: 6,183 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    BARGAINHUNTER! wrote: »
    I am going to spend today by myself until my ex brings my boys back tonight and do some serious thinking. I love him so much and think he will be making a terrible mistake going back to his wife, as he was not happy in his marriage and within a couple of months he would be feeling unhappy again but I don't know if his ex is using the kids to mess his head up more
    :eek::eek::eek:

    It's not really your place to make those decisions, is it?

    I'm going to bow out as well before I say something really bad.
  • emsywoo123
    emsywoo123 Posts: 5,440 Forumite
    shellsuit wrote: »
    How good of you! :eek::cool:

    I'll bow out of this now before I say something I shouldn't.

    Hey hey calm down, as far as the OP is concerned, her b/f is in a relationship with her now, regardless of what went before. All parties are aware of this, so the OP has done no wrong. Leave her be.;)
  • BARGAINHUNTER!
    BARGAINHUNTER! Posts: 848 Forumite
    edited 23 March 2011 at 10:54PM
    post deleted
    MFW 2011 challenge - Aim: Overpay £414.26 a month/£5,000 a year. Overpayment Total to date: £414.26:jMortgage start 28/9/07 £46,217.00 :TMortgage balance as of 25/05/11 £24,490.58 :T
    Interest saved as of 25/05/11: £2,849.84 Projected term reduction as of 25/05/11: 9 years 11 months
  • child359
    child359 Posts: 3,234 Forumite
    edited 3 January 2010 at 11:53AM
    Please please please don't think that all women use the kids to mess mens heads up.

    Regarding the original comment about the little girls reaction.....she may have been putting on an act so as not to upset her Daddy who she misses anyway and reasonably would be upset as to why Daddy is freinds with another woman and worrying about you becoming a step Mum.

    Don't automtaically think her Mum is trying to stir up troubles.

    Shellsuit..you are being honest and entitled to your opinion.
    Eleventh Heaven No 160
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    Started comping Oct 10:- £20 Walkers win.; sat nav; bag of skittles. Nov:- Cushelle Koala, Butterfly earrings, Dec:- £10 Sports Direct gift voucher
    Jan 11:- case of GU naughties, £20 ASOS voucher.
  • BARGAINHUNTER!
    BARGAINHUNTER! Posts: 848 Forumite
    edited 23 March 2011 at 10:54PM
    post deleted
    MFW 2011 challenge - Aim: Overpay £414.26 a month/£5,000 a year. Overpayment Total to date: £414.26:jMortgage start 28/9/07 £46,217.00 :TMortgage balance as of 25/05/11 £24,490.58 :T
    Interest saved as of 25/05/11: £2,849.84 Projected term reduction as of 25/05/11: 9 years 11 months
  • Mips
    Mips Posts: 19,796 Forumite
    He wasn't yours in the first place, so in my opinion you are reaping what you have sown.

    I hate to say it, but for your own sake and his (and all children involved) - do the decent thing and step back.

    They could go on to resolve their marriage and really get along after this and I think they should be given the chance.
    :cool:
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