Facebook

mountainofdebt

The other thing to remember is that for your OH to have these friends on facebook they must have agreed for your OH to be a friend (if that makes sense!)

brownbabygirl

elektra-2007 wrote: »

Personally id just go into the settings so facebook cant be accessed on your computer, then just act daft say the server must be down, get your daughters to confirm this or pretend youve spoken to them and they have said so. If you google, how do i ban website from my pc there will be insructions telling you how, then after a few weeks put it back on and see how he is. Or email the girl in question say you hope my husband isnt bothering you blah blah which might make her back off from replying to him. Personally i think it sounds out of order and he shouldnt be doing it. I know loads of people who have had their relationships/marriages ruined by networking sites.

I would just delete his account altogether! and any subsequent ones thereafter if she can get those password too (assuming he changes them).

kindofagilr

You need to be careful this doesnt end up in an affair

My friend worked at this office where they had internal internet and on it you could sell items like ebay (or you could post wanted's) she posted to ask if anyone had any cd's by her fav band.

She was 24, a man emailed her and said he has some cds did she want them, he was 45.

They got to chatting on the internal email, just normal everyday stuff, how their day was etc.

Then it progressed into more sensitive chats.

Turns out this man wasnt happy, he was married and not happy.

After talking for 6 months on the email, they met up (and they lived miles away from each other) and of course had sex, they loved each other (or they thought they did) this continued for about a year (totalling a year and a half) and they had met up 5 times throughout the whole time.

It eventually ended as my friend realised that she was just going to get hurt in the end as he was never going to leave his wife no matter how unhappy he said he was.

I am not saying your OH is going to do this, but I think the signs are there that he wants to change something.

Even if its just how you guys have your nights out?

C_Mababejive

Havent read all the posts just the OP. It can be very difficult being a man. You work all your life for your family then suddenly,one day ,you wake up and find that you havent really got to where you wanted to be. Sometimes you feel like youve underachieved,dont have many/any mates,see pretty women and wish you had had met more of them when you were younger etc...

It can drive you to do things which are uncharacteristic to try and capture some of what you feel youve missed.

Its very unsettling and can wreck existing relationships as the op is discovering. We often think we will live for ever when we are young but life,oh so quickly,catches us up and suddenly our best years are gone and there is little to look forward to. No wonder then that he is scrambling and grasping at straws to try and grab a little bit of life...like a drowning man.

He obviously isnt at peace with himself and there are much deeper issues here.

Glad

Timmne wrote: »

There's something weird about parents registering on FB anyway - it's just a little creepy!

A woman who works for my wife is always on there (she's an addict.... urgh!) - this woman has two teenage kids, a husband, a dog and a house. !!!!!! isn't there anything more pressing to be doing?

OP - just tell your husband he needs to pick on people his own age - I know a number of people his age and yes, it would be weird if they kept trying to muscle in on our nights out!


ETA: I agree with ONW wholeheartedly as always! Try something new (but not through FB)!

I find this post a little odd/ageist!!

I'm on FB and both my teenage kids are my friends on there, as are several of their friends. Out of my 62 friends on FB 14 are teenagers and 15 are in their twenties.
On Xmas eve my kids and half a dozen of their friends chose to come out for a drink with me and my equally ancient friend.
I'm 44! with 2 teenagers, a man a dog, a house and a cat Oh and a life

tbain

Glad wrote: »

I find this post a little odd/ageist!!

I'm on FB and both my teenage kids are my friends on there, as are several of their friends. Out of my 62 friends on FB 14 are teenagers and 15 are in their twenties.
On Xmas eve my kids and half a dozen of their friends chose to come out for a drink with me and my equally ancient friend.
I'm 44! with 2 teenagers, a man a dog, a house and a cat Oh and a life

I totally agree. There are so many different age groups on Facebook these days although the OPs husband is acting a little inappropriate. I suggest that she talks this through with her husband.Is the man capable / wanting to cheat or is it just him trying to act young. I agree with what some of the previous posters have said, social networking sites don't cause of relationship woes, most people go on for friends , family etc. You have to have the inclination and dishonesty in you already to do something like that, a website does not instil that in someone.

nettttie

Glad wrote: »

I find this post a little odd/ageist!!

I'm on FB and both my teenage kids are my friends on there, as are several of their friends. Out of my 62 friends on FB 14 are teenagers and 15 are in their twenties.
On Xmas eve my kids and half a dozen of their friends chose to come out for a drink with me and my equally ancient friend.
I'm 44! with 2 teenagers, a man a dog, a house and a cat Oh and a life

It was a silly ageist comment! I'm 42 and have been on fb/bebo/myspace/msn far longer than my teenagers - and indeed set them up accounts on fb before they were old enough! (they are now 12 and 13).

I'd have to come clean and tell him but that's me! Maybe if the OP cant do that play him at his own game and have some fb fun and see his reaction but yes I think it's hurful when you see your partner acting differently and saying things that he wouldnt say to you but then it's so easy on a keyboard!

best of luck to you

cobbingstones

Hi

You say on your OP that you are Self E, if you are able to why not go traveling? I can't wait till the kids have moved on with their lives, and we get the opportunity to go and really do what we want to! If you have the money and most importantly health please use your good luck to the max. There are so many people out there who would love to escape their lives, but cannot. You I hope have this option?

Good luck and live your lives well.

LegalBlonde

kindofagilr wrote: »

You need to be careful this doesnt end up in an affair

My friend worked at this office where they had internal internet and on it you could sell items like ebay (or you could post wanted's) she posted to ask if anyone had any cd's by her fav band.

She was 24, a man emailed her and said he has some cds did she want them, he was 45.

They got to chatting on the internal email, just normal everyday stuff, how their day was etc.

Then it progressed into more sensitive chats.

Turns out this man wasnt happy, he was married and not happy.

After talking for 6 months on the email, they met up (and they lived miles away from each other) and of course had sex, they loved each other (or they thought they did) this continued for about a year (totalling a year and a half) and they had met up 5 times throughout the whole time.

It eventually ended as my friend realised that she was just going to get hurt in the end as he was never going to leave his wife no matter how unhappy he said he was.

I am not saying your OH is going to do this, but I think the signs are there that he wants to change something.

Even if its just how you guys have your nights out?

Totally know what you mean!! Mario and Lisa from BB met each other when she sold him something on ebay and they met in a car park for her to deliver it - she had a partner at the time. How do I remember these things:rotfl::rotfl:

I do not and will never have facebook, I am 26, I just don't see the point of it, i am perfectly capable of emailing, phoning and texting people. I think it is really unnatural as you see things and find out things that you would not normally find out - the person would have to tell you about it and actually communicate with other humans. My OH finally gave in and joined it recently to keep in touch with people from work due to nature of the job and he really doesn't see what all the fuss is about.

As usual there are some silly comments on here about people being too old to use facebook and jamiespir who can always be relied on to pop up and be the devil's advocate when there is any question of infidelity - and I only found this section of the website last week!

My advice, but it is with all due respect as I am only 26 and been with my b/f only 6 years (I am not often in a context where that is ONLY!) but I do agree to an extent with other people about mixing things up etc etc. I would advise you just sit down and talk to him and say you are online all the time now, can't we find something we both enjoy? I go online far more now since I started on here and sparkpeople (diet site) but try not to spend too long without doing something with OH.

I think it is a question of problem/symptoms. FB and going out with younger people/acting out of character is a symptom not a problem. I think you need to have an honest chat -I know it might be difficult but you are married to him and you owe it to yourself. You don't need to worry about reading the email as you have enough to say without that!

Bunnie1982

Is it just general chat or is it inappropriate conversation?

I'm a young married women and I frequently chat to a 50 year old man (not via Facebook, and yes I actually know him as he's mutual friend of mine and my husbands) We chat about shared interests and I have gained so much from his prior knowledge, sometimes we do have general chat about how our days have gone etc. My husband is aware of the conversation as sometimes I show him the email if it's something of interest to us both.

Perhaps using the computer is his way of unwinding, perhaps make some suggestions like going out for a walk or watching a DVD. I know how hard it is to put the laptop down sometimes as mine used to be nearly constantly on - perhaps he is bored in his life at the moment?