Advice Please – not sure whether to get married or split up...

laz001

a-non-y-mous wrote: »

Laz001,

This 'other girl' - do you not think you just felt the excitement and passion that you get in any new relationship?

No, I have considered that. I have encountered that situation before, I am not a fool and I know what it exactly means.

However, I me the right person for me at totally the wrong time. For all she said, she felt exactly the same way as me, but due to hurt from me leading her on and turning her down, she had to move on.

a-non-y-mous wrote: »

I am currently 4 days into our 'break' and it and very concious that in reality I probably have a week or so to get my head together and contact her or loose her forever. I said no contact for a month but in reality I said that so that she would not be constantly checking her phone or disappointed if I did not call.

Do I miss her? Yes. In a heart-wrenching way? No, but my concern is that I do not think I can feel that about anyone.

I am someone that is always busy and I am having to force myself to take time everyday to focus on our relationship and not just fill my time sorting out the non-relationship chaos of my life. I think unless I forced myself to face it I could while away a couple of months before it really came home that I had split with her.

It still has not really sunk in and I desperately want it to.

I have my second (or first proper) session at relate tomorrow and am hoping to get something from it - if not I will be looking for another 'head-doctor' and attempting to go twice a week.

I have this feeling that maybe I'm just not cut out for this 'love' malarkey......

I think you should stop tormenting yourself. Stop trying to answer the question because it will answer itself. If at the end of this month you quite frankly are not that bothered about seeing your partner, then you have your answer.

If at the end of that month, your heart races, your blood is on fire, you get nervous and you are really afraid that she might not turn up...then you have your other answer.

The hardest part since I'm going through this myself is going through the split up. I think you DO have emotions, you just need to find the right person to stimulate them in you. Someone to make you feel excited and hopeful...not jsut one first meeting...but for the rest of your life. I feel SOMEWHAT like you, in that I am a little bit emotionally withdrawn from my partner, she does not set me on fire, and I know I am a very passionate, romantic person inside...but it takes the right person to bring it out of you.

This other girl I met was a match for me in every way I could describe and descrie above...I'm probably a fool to have not seen it at the time...but wrong time...wrong place i guess.