Division of labour - big row brewing

sarahs999

I can sympathise NJW. I think the thing is to nip it in the bud before it makes you like an unexploded incendiary device, which is how i was feeling when I wrote my original post. My husband's not an unreasonable man but he will let things slip if he thinks he can get away with it. And Christmas does brin g it all to a head, as someone pointed out earlier on in the thread.

Debt_Free_Chick

sarahs999 wrote: »

My husband's not an unreasonable man but he will let things slip if he thinks he can get away with it.

IMHO it's more a case of "he will let things slip as he's genuinely oblivious".

I really don't think that men notice this stuff. They are, by nature, "solution focussed" so if a problem is not evident, then it doesn't exist. And if there's no problem, there's nothing for them to do!!! :rotfl:

Without realising it, we women remove the very problems that men exist to solve And then we feel unappreciated for solving the problems that our men didn't even notice were there in the first place

Life is difficult

dixie_dean_2

So it's all your fault? Great.

gwhizz75

I see where the OP is coming from, it's not what the task is, or how long it takes, it's the responsibility for doing it. I am pretty much 100% responsible for running things in our house and if I didn't do it, it wouldn't get done. It actually really annoys me because I don't think my OH understands the work or stress that goes into keeping a house running (and that includes all the classic chores such as cooking and cleaning which I also do). I definitely do NOT feel appreciated.

I am in charge of holidays, christmas, insurance, making sure bills are paid, shopping, planning meals, birthdays, buying tickets etc etc. And what I find really, really annoying is that it then means if something goes wrong, you are responsible for sorting out the problems because "you arranged it" or "you were in charge of that". The stress of balancing many little things and trying to remember what needs to be done and what has been sorted is very real!

My OH works 5 days a week and I work 3 - 4 days a week. However, if you take into account what I do around the house, I think I do more than him. He seems to only value "work work" and doesn't place any value on other things as they "have to be done"... which is all very well for him but he isn't the one that has to do them! Until last week he didn't even know how our toaster works (and we've had it for 3 years!).

Sorry... that turned into a rant but I just wanted to let you know I see your point of view (very clearly!!).

funkymonkey849

OH is currently doing the hoovering as it is one of the jobs on his week of the rota!

:T:T:T

Result!

With bottom sticking out of jeans I must add :rotfl:Men!

ETA now he is cleaning the fridge! He was most put out at the start, but now singing away in kitchen and getting on with it - must have realised he's not allergic to housework after all and won't drop down dead if he so much as touches a cleaning cloth, what a relief.

Have just poured myself a glass of wine, this is great!

PurpleJay

sarahs999 wrote: »

My four year old has a chart and he gets stickers for doing jobs, I refuse to have a similar principle for my 39-year-old husband!

Lol:rotfl:

Raksha

But the principle works - all that changes is the 'reward' at the end