Rant about unsuitable xmas gifts

tandraig

I agree with aliasojo here. she suspected the pressie was unsuitable and was right. I still think she should let her daughter open it though (see earlier post), and agree with her that some things are age appropriate and some are not.
to illustrate.
many years ago I was in McDs with my daughter who was then about 12, and a giggle of kids came in for a birthday party. they were about 9 judging by the age on the cake and balloons. some of them were a !!!!!philes daydream or wetdream. wearing makeup and skimpy clothes and slogans on vest tops saying i am too sexy! my daughter was disgusted too! let kids be kids and not mini wannabe WAGS!

mrcow

Juliepink26 wrote: »

Its nice being a cool mum

Are you trying to say that AJ isn't a "cool Mum"? Where has that come from?!

tiamai_d

Hmmm...

Clothes or shoes, unless they can be toned down (short skirt only worn with leggings, top made decent with a cardi or vest top under), only for at home dress up, and explain why, don't go all 'because your too young' on her, nothing makes a 10 year old madder than being told she is too young!

Make up, again, allowed at home for dress up or show her what and how much she is allowed to wear at special occasions.

Something with slutty branding (playboy bunny) quickly put somewhere safe to be forgotten about and explain why you think it's too adult.

Bath type stuff (face masks etc), I can't really see a reason for her not to have it.

I'm really trying to think of what else would be too adult for a 10 year old girl now.

Oh it's not those Bratz sparkly high heel shoes is it? Wonder how many little girls and going to be teenage girls seeing podiatrists wearing those things!

As for presents next year, ask to arrange a day out with the girls rather than a present. Bowling or a mini manicure (so long as your happy with that idea!) or a nice meal out?

ManOnTheMoon

Juliepink26 wrote: »

I
Its nice being a cool mum, they will come and tell you everything when they get older.

It's even nicer being a cool dad :cool: Especially when all their friends are jealous as to what they can talk to me about being an adult and a man :cool:

As i'm sure you already know, being your childs best friend is the best feeling in the world, but every parent/child relationship is different.

My kids talk to me about sex, smoking, drinking and the rest, and have done since they started asking about it when younger and fortunately it's led to a good relationship, but who knows what is around the corner for any of us. My coolness could suddenly go at any time, although I hope not :cool:

Like yourself, I wouldn't open any present of my childs and would discuss any implications afterwards, although that isn't really an issue, because as open I am is with my clan, they wouldn't get unsuitable gifts as family friends know it's not in their best interests to push my boundaries.

I think in summary, what i'm saying is, every parent and child relationship is different and the relationship changes almost daily and will continue to do so for the rest of our lives. What works for me, could be a disaster for someone else and vice versa. It's all about being in tune with your offspring.

aliasojo

ladypinkof66 wrote: »

i dont personally see anything wrong with opening the gifts to check what they were as it was something really outrageous then i would not be allowing my daughter to even see yet alone keep the gift, i feel that they cannot be that outrageous otherwise you would have not re wrapped them up, if your daughter had then asked where the presents were - she may not even remember what with children having so many presents at xmas anyway, i would have no hesitation in saying to her the gifts were in appropriate and she was not having them.

I didn't say they were outrageous, I said they were unsuitable and too old for her.

I rewrapped them and put them back where they were to buy time to think the situation through, I didn't want to fall foul of a kneejerk reaction.

Apricot

Im such a child...after reading this whole thread all I can think about is what the presents are!;)

My mum was always strict about things I wore - I remember buying a t-shirt from Miss Selfridge saying "Lolita" when I was 13 - when she explained to me what it was I was mortified and took the thing back the following weekend!

alyssa_liss

i want to know what it is now lol

ManOnTheMoon

princessleah_ wrote: »

Im such a child...after reading this whole thread all I can think about is what the presents are!;)

My mum was always strict about things I wore - I remember buying a t-shirt from Miss Selfridge saying "Lolita" when I was 13 - when she explained to me what it was I was mortified and took the thing back the following weekend!

My 16yo, about a year ago, bought some t-shirts and one said 'Twin Peaks' with some mountains on. She bought it as she likes pictures of mountains and the like. The Twin Peaks logo was positioned.....you get me...

Once i'd stopped laughing, I pointed out to her the actual meaning and she'd exchanged it within 24 hours :rotfl:

Juliepink26

It sounds like you more of a problem with you daughters friend, if you dont like the way she dresses or acts. I would of thought any bad influence would be from the friend herself, rather than the gift.
I promise you Iam not trying to have a dig or anything, its just I thought I would give my thoughts on the matter...

Well if you have to pretend to look surprised on christmas day when she opens it then maby she think you have seen it already, if you mind is already made up its unsuitable.

anyways just my 2 cents x

aliasojo

Juliepink26 wrote: »

It sounds like you more of a problem with you daughters friend, if you dont like the way she dresses or acts. I would of thought any bad influence would be from the friend herself, rather than the gift.
I promise you Iam not trying to have a dig or anything, its just I thought I would give my thoughts on the matter...

Well if you have to pretend to look surprised on christmas day when she opens it then maby she think you have seen it already, if you mind is already made up its unsuitable.

anyways just my 2 cents x

Ok, all replies are welcome, whether they agree with me or not. Varied opinions are good as long as they are based on what is said and not assumptions.