Rant about unsuitable xmas gifts

Zazen999

jamespir wrote: »

yes so she need s to tell her daughter exactly what shes done and her reasons for it
not wrap the present up and put it back undrer the tree

im sure they both could have found a mutual way of dealing with the offending article(s)

ie if its clothes she could wear it under a jumper if its a top or if its trousers only wear them in the house

or if its a game or dvd swap it for something more suitable

If it was condoms; what would you suggest - blowing them up together?

wildfrog

Aliasjo,

I pretty sure you aren't on here looking for approval but for what it's worth I think you've done right and have handled the situation sensitively and effectively. Thanks for letting us know what you're decision was.

I second Juciygirl's suggestion above of maybe not opening those presents on Christmas day so there is no risk of it casting a shadow over the day in general.

Hope it goes well, sounds like it will be smooth sailing!

tandraig

jamespir wrote: »

you really have no life if you feel the need to unwrap your daughters presents and then rewrap them cause you might not like whats inside your not thinking about your daughter your thinking about yourself

at the end of the day the daughters freinds have brought her a present and you say thank you and leave it at that if you dont you risk alienating your daughter and her freinds

no jamespir - you have that totally wrong! an INDULGENT parent would have let her daughter open them. and perhaps wear totally inappropriate clothing. the OP opened the presents because she is aware of the givers parenting style and rightly suspected the contents inappropriate. I would do the same - and i hope responsible parents would too.
YOU may think its being overstrict but when buying pressies for OTHER peoples children - you have to take their lifestyle or rules into consideration.
would you order a steak in a restaurant for a veggie friend?
I take a lot of time and trouble choosing gifts for family and friends and wouldnt dream of imposing my own beliefs on them. I try to take into account the age appropriateness, whether the parents are liberal or strict and then what i think the child would like. not think oh that fcuk top will fit - that will do!

aliasojo

jamespir wrote: »

even my mother said .......................

:rotfl: Oh well, it must be right then.

James, I am old enough to be your Mother too, trust me when I say your Mother does not have a 'Parenting Rule Book' any more than the rest of us do.

Aesop

I have bought gifts for my friend's children, and they are all older than my 25 month old son.

But when buying the gifts I think about the child receiving them, what they like and the suitability for their age.

For example, my son's "best friend" at the childminder's likes Ben 10, so I bought him a Ben 10 Lunchbag. Another friend's daughter likes bags, she stores things in them, so I asked her mum if she likes Bratz, and she said yes, so bought her a bratz lunchbag, which she loves.

I would never buy anything inappropriate for a child based on their age, including Slogan tee shirts. If it says something like "I love my mummy and daddy" I will buy it, but am not going to buy a fcuk or playgirl or playboy product for a child... this is most definitely inappropriate.

Some people just do not think about who they are buying for, or what the parents might think of the present and unfortunately it sounds like these parents are this type.

jamespir

Zazen999 wrote: »

If it was condoms; what would you suggest - blowing them up together?

who buys a ten year old condoms some of you on here have very active imagination

they get them from school for free

jamespir

aliasojo wrote: »

:rotfl: Oh well, it must be right then.

James, I am old enough to be your Mother too, trust me when I say your Mother does not have a 'Parenting Rule Book' any more than the rest of us do.

i never said she did

and whether or not youre old enough to be my mother makes no difference youre entitled to your opinion as am i

anonymousie

kegg wrote: »

bar it being 20 silk cut and a bottle of white lightening i would let you daughter have them but if it is clothing i would manage to destroy it in the 1st wash or arange for it to be broken or lost in some way by the new year.

Is glad i only have boys

I have a 10yr old and I'd be of this opinion TBH, if it is a video/DVD that is clearly too old I'd say so to my daughter and I'd tell her I didn't feel it was right for her at the moment, so we could swap it for something else- say it was a 15/18DVD (we do have 12s that the 10yr old watches), clothes/shoes would either "really not fit properly" or come to grief when washed and I'd apologise and "replace" them!

aliasojo

jamespir wrote: »

i never said she did

and whether or not youre old enough to be my mother makes no difference youre entitled to your opinion as am i

Very true James, very true.

Lunar_Eclipse

bundly wrote: »

jamespir seems to be under the illusion that parents and children are equals. This attitude is one of the things that has made today's kids so out-of-control, unruly, cheeky and uncontrollable.

I completely disagree. All people are equal, regardless of age, gender, race etc.

Children are not out of control because they are treated equally; if only! I actually think it's more to do with respect and lack of self respect. Along with children feeling undervalued, unloved, worthless and highly pressured. Although it's far more complex than that sounds.

The world would be a much better place if parents generally treated their children with much more respect than they do. You only have to go to Asda or a large Tesco to see several examples of what I am referring to ("Oi, put that down and come here NOW!"):o We should speak to our children in the same way as we speak to friends and loved ones. It's no wonder they answer back!